Running a loop of Regeneration Q and then done for the day. Keeping things simple and minimalistic
Giving myself a break at least today and maybe tomorrow. Just feels right.
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It seems to me youāre starting to take things easier. Good. 
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Seems like itās working well. I donāt feel so overwhelmed and I feel more like myself. I donāt know if itās because of the change or addition to my ADHD medications , being minimalistic with my listening routine as well as with life in general , or both but I am enjoying it and I feel way more growth and progress now that I donāt feel like Iām trying to force anything.
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You donāt seem chaotic anymore so I can tell youāve improved. Iām glad you have.
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Something else I noticed this morning after waking up is how I would almost immediately grab my phone and look at websites I would read multiple times a day for reasons I can only put down to habit. Today I stopped myself when I realized that and just got up and started getting things done. Felt weird at first but very cool. Like I have more control over my choices instead of being always on auto pilot
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Itās easier to see whatās in the water when itās not rough. And when you see, you can understand, when you understand you can do something about it.
The water=Oneās mind
Keep going, mate!
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Instantly reminds of bruce lee, this is a good quote
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I used to write poems. 
Thanks.
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I feel really good again this morning. Not sure if its down to the new medication routine , taking a break from the subs for a day , all the death metal I listened to yesterday, or a combination of them all. I have really started to think before I say or respond or not to anything. Iām very quickly learning that other peopleās opinions and issues generally have very little to nothing to do with me and letting it get to me or ruminate about it is a gigantic waste of time. I already get enough of my time wasted by folks and their issues. I donāt want or need more.
In various ways I continue to surprise myself with not only how I feel but also how I act and carry myself. I just donāt see or feel the need to make anything unnecessarily difficult for myself or anyone else whatās the point? So many things can or could be accomplished and done in the time myself or someone else would get upset over it.
Iām about to run a loop of The Elixir.
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Does it make you emotionally numb or you just got distanced to those issues?
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Nope numb just unwilling to take it personally or make it about me so sort of a distancing or separation you could say. I wasnāt really aware of how narcissistic it is to make someone elseās issues about yourself. Itās immature and it becomes very easy to start resenting people over any trivial behavior.
Thatās most likely if not the same reason I donāt understand religion. In a world of over seven billion people and a universe as unimaginably big as it is let alone just our galaxy and solar system itās hard to fathom that anyone could feel that entitled or self important.
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Running a loop of Elixir Ultima. I was thinking earlier about past choices and mistakes I have made and to paraphrase the sales page a lot of that now feels like it was someone else entirely or happened in a different reality. I think to myself " emotionally healthy and mature people donāt do or say those things". Itās not really hard to understand how I alienated people and destroyed friendships and possibile relationships or got into ones I should have entirely avoided . I was far too immature to realize what a walking red flag I was. I am happy that I have the opportunity to grow and become the person I have always wanted to be but sometimes I wish like hell it hadnāt taken until I was 52 to get to that point. Like I have said before knowing and understanding what I do now I could very easily have avoided a lot if not all of the unnecessary headaches and drama I created for myself and others.
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Iāve been running a couple of loops of Elixir and I feel ok but I also know I am either growing and changing again or hitting some serious reconciliation as a lot of things I used to spend time on now seem like a huge waste of time. I was feeling down on myself earlier this evening and told my Wife I need to stop being a loser and get my shit together. Never mind that it was quickly pointed out to me how much I do. I just donāt feel like Iām accomplishing anything. I feel stuck. I have only run Elixir and Executive lately and Iām curious if the combination of the two may be causing this and I just have to work through it. Any thoughts @SaintSovereign or @DarkPhilosopher?
One thing I have noticed since I started SubClub subs is that there are many things that I simply no longer find worthy of my time. Iāve become increasingly critical concerning music, TV, movies, games and porn. Sometimes I watch something for 5 minutes and consider it a waste of time.
The same thing happens to my relationships and communication. If it takes more value from me than it adds to my life, itās really hard to continue in it.
To me, this has happened over the course of what must be almost 2 years now I think. To you it seems to happen quite rapidly, which is why it may feel as if somebody just spun you around for 60 seconds and youāre trying to walk in a straight line.
Something that has happened since Ultima is that like you I sometimes type a lot of text in a post or message only to then delete it all and keep my answer short and to the point. Or I donāt post at all.
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Itās happened more so over the last couple of years as well. Oddly enough when I began listening to strictly SubClub audios. With the Ultima titles though I feel itās different. Obviously there is an entirely different next level or four of intensity and focus. I hate saying shit that sounds cliche or like a testimonial but Elixir is the audio I have wanted all my life or at least self improvement career without knowing it.
Iām not sure itās such a rapid thing as much as maybe the layers are getting peeled back or off faster as the technology improves and advances.
As far as music , tv , movies, and games yeah thatās changed quite a bit. Games specifically hasnāt been the same for me since I played God of War for the first time back in the summer of 2012. Music I have always been a bit of a snob and often wonder how people listen to such ridiculous shit.
Porn has been a bit tricky for me for the last couple of years and more so the longer and more often I run Elixir. Maybe itās a morality thing but I often find it difficult to watch or look at without thinking that compared to me that woman or girl is a kid. I have no idea what the average age of women in porn is but with me being 52 years old itās probably half that at the very least.
Relationships are a bit tricky the more mentally and emotionally mature I become. Out of a an almost disturbing level of immaturity and unresolved issues I somehow forced myself to be an extrovert when I now understand how that created a lot of anxiety and inappropriate behavior and focus that made life unnecessarily difficult for myself and others. I know I have brought up FOMO here a few times and until someone can understand on an intuitive level how important self control is you wonāt understand what a huge waste of time and often money FOMO is. Itās been said people can be their own worst critic and I probably get down on myself for dumb shit I should and could have easily avoided more than anyone else. Itās amusing at times now because I see a lot of guys on here and in person talk about or focus almost exclusively on getting laid. I can empathize and relate because I was that way for a long time. I often look back on past romantic relationships and hookups and ask myself " why couldnāt I have just been that personās friend? Did I really need or want to create that unnecessary headache and drama for myself and them? Could I just have kept my shut entirely? " i was in so many situations I had really no right being in or didnāt belong there. Something that was pointed out to me more than once but I didnāt understand it at the time
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Yes, Elixir is great, Iām going to stack it with QLQ St1 and Khan St1 too. Iām glad that finally youāve found the right path of subliminal development. Are you still using Regeneration?
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Probably not as much as I should but yes
Now that I think about it the FOMO I felt for so long wasnāt just or necessarily related to relationships but envy I had of others. I would hear people at the job I had at the time talk about things they were going to do , buy , or how they either refused to work any overtime or give up their weekends.
I was continuously comparing myself and my situation with theirs and not understanding at all the difference as obvious as it was. Not just that but because I constantly made those comparisons it was incredibly unfair to my Wife as she hasnāt been able to work since 2011 because of health issues. I didnāt have the mental and emotional maturity at the time to ignore it all and do what needs to be done. The self control to put aside or forget about trivial and unnecessary things to make our lives better and easier.
@Sub.Zero Iām staying with Elixir , Regeneration, and Executive for the foreseeable future . With Elixir and Regeneration I want to go until I hit the point of diminishing returns and go a bit further
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