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Haha… soon my brother. Soon. 
The Emperor beckons
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Don’t let them scare ya, i run emperor and yea i get recon but it’s making me tough,
let the emperor within you awaken!
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It’s strange. I went through DR ST2, and Stark, and I thought those two gave me the worse recon, but I was wrong, it’s looking like it’s Khan ST2. Hands down.
I’m going through something terribly unpleasant and all I could do is observe myself, try to mitigate the damage and bite my tongue less I’ll have more regrets when the dust has settled, I know I am not thinking straight at the moment.
It’s been a while since I lost my temper this way, and I’m noting this embarassment in my journal as a reference for my future self. Time’s like this and I appreciate EQ’s almost selective stoicism.
I expected Khan ST2 to be unpleasant based on a few journals I read, but not like this, not more than DR or Stark which is almost the opposite of my general personality and demeanor.
Looking back, perhaps EQ’s internal armor sheltered me from DR ST2’s onslaught and I didn’t feel as bad as I do now. It was still terrible then, but this is something else. I will be adding a loop of SanguineQ this week, and maybe a loop or two of Lovebomb.
Anyway, if you’re going through hell, keep going.
Stack modified today. EQ’s back and I’m changing my approach. We’ll see. 
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Good choice! I don’t know if you have read Yardbird’s testimonial on Emperor but that’s a great lesson for us all:
Especially, his two years commitment to Emperor solely. It’s not actually about the time but the commitment till he got “there”. I think I’ll follow his example and when I’m done with Alchemist I will be sticking to Emperor and Mogul till I get to the point I’m satisfied with my finances.
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Yardbird, Oldchap, Blackadder, Azriel and Raphael had a good time on EQ too if I remember right.
Just two loops in and I am getting that old familiar feeling already. Feels good to be back.
Let’s do this brother 
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I even think that Emperor should be the heart of my stack till I’m really well-developed and only then I could look for another “heart” like HoM, Stark or Khan.
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Yes that’s exactly how I see EQ too, it’s like an anchor or a base and I also felt it softened the blow from some pretty harsh recon due to the internal strength it provided.
It also helped me stay disciplined with working out, quitting smoking and most of all staying with a stack.
I was this close to smoking my first cigarette after almost 6 months. My stress levels was off the charts and EQ needed to come back. This sub is a treasure for sure.
I’m playing it somewhat conservative this time and I’m starting with the old faithful EQv1. I’ll jump to Qv2 when I feel I’ve regained my equilibrium.
It may be required also since it contains that healing and alpha programming and, yes, that should put you back into the right balance and fast.
Emperor is simply oriented to destroying all your limits in the main domains of “real man”'s life like money, power (inner and outer) and women and although Stark and Khan are oriented to those domains too, Emperor is purely about destroying your limits while Khan and Stark, I think, are more focused on actual development and less on removing your limits but, of course, Emperor also helps you develop certain traits an improve your circumstances in the aforementioned domains, therefore, I consider it the most essential sub among SC products.
@Simon We have another record if it comes to the length of sentence. 
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Couple of days in and I’m already feeling somewhate lighter, both physically and emotionally. I still don’t feel as social, and I prefer to listen.
I have nothing much to say, I suppose after the turmoil that I experienced the past week, I welcome my relatively serene mind and would like to enjoy it as much as I can.
There’s still some brain fog, but presence of mind is there, and I am able to function and make decisions optimally, and my external world (at least what’s in my control) is relatively fine from what I could see.
Seems like the train is getting back on track and like a rock, the masterpiece that is EQ has done it again.
I opted to skip my Ultima’s until I finished DR ST4 and I am reevaluating if a month should be enough.
The Dragon could lend me it’s strength through the Ultima, but I hope the physical healing comes with it, as I feel my chronic pains were addressed by DR. I’ll see in June.
At this time, my aim is for a lighter and more simplified stack until I feel I am ready to step out of my comfort zone and experiment once again.
That being said, nothing is set in stone and I am eager for the latest surprise from SC. Standalone Hero, Seducer, or something else, whatever it is, I am sure it’s going to be fantastic.
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I’ve received a wonderful gift; The past week or so was quite tumultous, yet even so I’ve always been an optimist, and I doubly appreciate every good that comes.
At first I thought it was remnants of Stark, I usually felt lucky and happy on it. It kicks me around once in a while but Stark is one beautiful sub, and I’ll go back to it again and again until it’s strengths become a part of me. One small step at a time, I see every bloody nose is a progress.
But then I recalled something from DR:
Do not be alarmed if you start attracting people and opportunities to yourself – while not as effective in this such as wealth, status and romance titles, it will happen due to the rebirth into a more natural, powerful state… and when you do run these other titles in the future, you will see them work in beautiful tandem with the new, thunderous self you have become.
This is why I was attracted by DR. I feel I have to unburden my mind of these blockages and futile baggages so that I can enjoy the best life I possibly could.
I am not sure if it’s advisable to include DR in my stack permanently, as I read somewhere healing might overpower the others, but if DR demolished these paths to nowhere in my mind, the journey was worth it.
EQ, Stark or Khan are increasingly getting into powerful positions to make new and better paths. A path of gold, a path of kings.
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It’s interesting how the mind shifts just like that and now I’m feeling some mild depression and some intrusive or unwanted thoughts. A form of anxiety where the mind excessively worries or suffers stress, but from the inside rather than from an external source.
I hope this is a monster the dragon helps me slay.
Rest days are coming up, and that should help me deal with this reconciliation.
Same here, even though I thought I had dealt with that once and for all on the Dragon. It seems like Emperor is hitting us deep and is working on some deep blockages and limits.
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My friend, I agree with your journal, this is salvation.
I feel like I’m being tag teamed by DR and EQ, maybe Khan with a steel chair.
And as always, I suffer in silence. None around me knows.
We’ll get through this and pave the way towards the best versions of ourselves.
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Feeling a bit better today, my mind is calmer and able to think clearer. Brain fog is also better today, and my adhd isn’t too much to handle.
Here’s to the weekend rest
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I’ve found that reading the sales page from time to time helps me stay motivated and fight off the recon. Maybe you would find it useful too. 
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I do that from time to time. Keeps me focused and and my eye on the prize.
Very good idea indeed my friend, I hope things are getting better for you.
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Getting pummeled by bad news and stress left and right. Now another one just popped up.
Sometimes I ask myself, what’s the point. Is the game rigged? How? What’s the secret? 42?
I hope the subs, my determination and my mind is stronger than what fate seems to be dumping on my lap. I suppose I’m getting tired of this “game”
Sharing here, maybe it will help release the frustration but keeping a stiff upper lip. Silence amidst thorns on my sides.
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All we can do is try our best. And hopefully the subs will give us more than a fighting chance.
What happens to others though, is something we cannot control at all. In case that’s the bad news you are talking about.
And like @Sub.Zero, I read the sales page from time to time. They are inspiring… like self help books lol
And I guess like self help books, these too require action.
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