I’m back after taking time away from these subs and realized how helpful they’ve been in my life even if I’m not where I want to be. I got sucked into other subs and the whole “you have to believe to get them to work” thing. So I just came back here cuz that’s literally not a requirement. I tried to make my own but realized I don’t have the time, energy, or research and development to match this company.
Decided my stack going forward is HoT and Asc stage 1 stabilizer. I had to include HoT because physical shifting goals are such an important point for my well being right now. I’ve decided an important component of self love is giving myself the body I want and it’s just neglect to hand wave or shame myself for wanting it. I’ve had to do a lot of reflection and introspecting to be ok with that.
I’m a perfect candidate for the stabilizer
- apartment is a wreck
- job sucks and boundary violations at that job
- stuck in fight or flight a lot
- Not eating enough
- finances decent but pretty much spend with a vague idea of where its going
- Self isolation, trouble building any kind of consistent relationships
- tired af of life in general
- Literally just dissociate away most of my week, my life has felt so empty and meaningless lately and difficult I’m just autopiloting everything and I’ve reached my breaking point
I don’t even know with my life at this point. But I know I deserve better and I just want the confidence to shut down people who violate that. Truly have felt like my life is cursed, anything I want I get the inverse of. I know that’s not finite, but I just need a break in this suffering. Waking up every day and going “fuck how is this my life?” is not a fun place to be.
Starting with 15 secs and going from there. Going veryyyyyy slow this time around with subs.