So far you seem to be progressing well mate.
What do you think?
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I think I’m getting there. But I also want to get the most out of life for myself. I think having a productivity based custom will help push me more to achieve the things I want. Maybe even stir up suppressed stuff that DR can then hit more easily.
I feel like I’ve been in limbo for the past few years and it’s terrible. Will see, I’ve got an appointment with a psychiatrist soon to figure out if there’s anything else going on besides me just procrastinating and having trouble getting going with anything. At the very least it’ll be good to have someone take a relatively unbiased perspective of my life and see what can help.
How about looking at
Beast Within
Commander
Limitless Executive
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I will take a look at those. I wanted to mix in ultimate music producer because I do love that module. I’m trying to keep it light, no heavy cores. I was thinking AM but that still might be too much. Qv2 is still unknown territory for me so I’d rather keep things manageable than start piling up on stuff I can’t process.
My main goals really right now are working on and enjoying my music more, getting myself out of shitty environments and avoiding going into new ones, being able to handle people better and set boundaries, and learning to embrace my own strengths more. Maybe those few focus points can help me craft something for those needs. I’m trying not to make things redundant with DR, but in all honesty DR has been a very shotgun approach. I sometimes can’t see what it’s doing or where I’m going and I often feel like I lack direction or drive to get where I need to go. Granted I’m back on stage 1 again, but I don’t want to get into the habit of waiting until healing is done to move forward with life.
Your style of interaction, the interpersonal feel that you give off, and, it seems, your willingness to put yourself out there in an assertive way all seem to be strengthening considerably. (That’s as a person viewing from the outside.)
Seems worth mentioning.
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You could set DR aside for a week and notice what happens.
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I think you’re right. I seem to just be plagued by anxiety about worrying about missing out in life and don’t want to drag this out anymore. But I think I’ll stick to DR and just supplement with ultimas whenever I get the urge to hit a certain area. They’re more flexible than a custom to me and less of a commitment.
@Malkuth Appreciate you pointing that out. It hasn’t been easy for me. I come from a lifetime of people pleasing behavior that was essentially a survival mechanism for me. I’m not happy about it or how much other people got away with treating me terribly because I felt on some level I deserved it. I’ve pretty much been a manipulative persons wet dream, they don’t even have to tear me down all they have to do is poke at something and I unravel myself. So whatever improvements I have I’m thankful for.