I was trying to write about Regeneration Q these last 20 minutes or so, but changes in my thinking and priorities made me change my direction.
I kept trying to go BACK. Back to old priorities, old projections, old “safeguards” of me keeping an old identity up. I am completely un-at-ease doing that with myself presently.
Additionally, I bought StarkQ 2 nights ago, have purposely not overloaded myself, and it’s been pushing through my thinking. Yesterday, while at work, I got a strong mental focus on creating or even inventing something which could be wildly profitable. It felt MORE than possible, especially when I’ve never, like never, had such motivation or dedication to such an idea. Wow
And this morning, my ex-wife called me while I was still sleeping. I called back…and was very aware of myself and my normal intentions and agenda I usually try for. I realized I was in between 2 mindsets–the old one of having her lead the conversation, and the new one where I sought some control over the dynamics and direction the conversation was going. I even goofed by missing a cue she gave and responding blindly, as I was trying to actively switch from the old into the new, but I was effortlessly aware that I was much more in control of myself.
Sitting here, I’m feeling this awareness come up while writing. It’s primarily PCC, though it feels like more than that. The old ways are still battling for dominance, and I’m not doing much in this process. StarkQ is doing its thing, and I’m just watching it unfold. It’s beautiful.
This is why I struggled to begin writing. My old, comfortable, even “safe” ways of thinking relied on me giving power away. Giving power over meant I “needed” others to support me (unhealthily too )
But StarkQ is empowering. And it’s even more than that, where words feel pointless describing it presently. I feel like getting busy, so I’ll stop here for now.