PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

PizzaShaman · August 31, 2025, 12:59pm

8/31/25

MorningTime! Day 31

Morning Qigong completed, the usual: 1 round Buddhist Health, 1 round Grand Circle.
Hands and whatnot aren’t vibrating with energy today, but that’s ok. My feet felt more firmly planted, and my timing of the motions matched up 100% today with Master Jiang in muh video.

Yesterday work:

Well, I walked in and found out that Chicken called out, and irritation flared as pattern recognition activated. She’s just started seeing a certain someone again, and the last time they were together this kinda shit happened. PizzaShaman doesn’t believe in coincidence! Thankfully it was a slower day overall, being a holiday weekend here, and there was sufficient coverage. That will not be the case going forward, and we don’t have room for dead weight on the staff list now. I hope I am incorrect in my assumption of her absence yesterday.

Lots of complaining from my coworkers about my direct supervisor was directed my way. I do not have the same working relationship with that one that the rest of my coworkers do, and my work situation is far different; while I run a station, I’m the only worker there while the rest of the spots have multiple staffing. In the end, I suppose some people don’t want to do what they are told and like to gripe about it. I was surprised that the one guy came up and started talking to me about his situation as he’s not ever vented to me in the past.

That might be the GLM/LB/Earth combo in action, come to think of it.

Since Chicken was out another supervisor was in to help cover. Ended up speaking with 'em for at least 30 minutes on life and other things. It was a good conversation. At the end I joked it should have been recorded for a podcast: PizzaTalk with SoupMan and PizzaShaman!

Dessert pizza was made and eaten. I had been asked by a lot of different students about when it was coming back, and yesterday’s dinner was the first time I could do it. It was sorta well received; I did expect people to show up earlier to get it than what time they actually started coming through.

Picked up Indian food on the way home from work. They know me as “Mr. Shaman” at that place, and I usually get hooked up with some sort of free item. Last night was no different: Chicken Fried Momo! Deeeee-licious! Iced Masala Chai was on point too.

I ate that late dinner with Wife and talked family stuff with her; her family, my inlaws to be specific. She’s the youngest with 2 older brothers, and the middle one has been excluding her from family gathering invites for a couple years now. She was upset by this when it started but has come to peace with it, as she doesn’t want to hang out with people who have her as an afterthought. I dislike seeing her treated in such a way by “family”, especially since no explanation has ever been given. Thus, I am quieter than normal around these people, though I have been practicing NOT flooding the family gathering with my Stilled Energetic Presence (a kindness, I think). Thankfully, none of my inlaws have ever asked me what’s up, because I would tell them.

Sleep was a touch better last night. Woke up after 3-4 hours with a leg cramp - unusual as its been a while since that was happening. I had to stagger downstairs for the pickle juice at 2:34 am. Sleep was more elusive after that.

And here we are.

I believe I’m about halfway through some sort of brain regeneration cycle in coming off THC. It would be regrettable to not give it more time, but the sleep problem is a real problem and I was functioning in life just fine before summertime when my usage got “higher”. LOLZ

The dreams are weird and wild and I don’t really know what’s going on there. I don’t know if I need to either.

GLM is great and I’m enjoying this current stack, but the stack is a bit thick at the moment. I’m handling it well enough, imo, but I do know I would get better results if I were to trim it down. Maybe a GLM/LB custom would be in order, or perhaps GLM/Water. I saw that idea discussed elsewhere and I am intrigued. I’d like to get Deep Sleep in somewhere.

I do have Let’s Row custom that has that module, but I think I want to update it and remove the Synergy module for radiating vitality, and I’m curious about swapping in the upgraded Beast core for Spartan core. Something to ponder over this next week. Perhaps the perfect idea will come to me. I know I’m open to it.

Planned sexytime tonight! Considering some microloops enhance that!

PizzaShaman · September 1, 2025, 3:13pm

9/1/25

MorningTime! Day 32

No big update today. Nothing major happened, which is good news I suppose. I skipped the Qigong this morning as I got laid last night and had round 2 upon waking and caffeinating. Both times were good! I had given myself a series of 15 second microloops, and I asked the wife to please give her NE Diamond custom a listen. I requested she give it 30 to 90 seconds; she did 5 minutes of NE Diamond and store title PR. She still thinks more is better! Interestingly, her vagina was much too sensitive while we were having sex last night and so I got a bj finish; this morning that had subsided and she(we) had a great time.

Currently reviewing the module list from Let’s Row V1 for V2, and considering a swap from Spartan core to E:E. Might be wise to get the anti recon module in there as well if I go with that change. I looked at the Beast Within/Unleashed Core and gave it some thought but I don’t think the Rowvember goal would be the best fit there.

I’ve considered going to a NE EmpFit stage 2 with Synergy: Carpe Vitam for the upcoming challenge as well.

It’s on my mind as last year’s winner is back on campus and I see him in the dining hall during mealtimes.
Athletic, good-looking (no homo!), tall- everything I wasn’t at his age. That doesn’t matter, I suppose, if I think about it. I would like to win it again for us men in our “prime”, and to prove to myself that I can set a goal and complete it. Human Design tells me that I don’t have to prove anything; my value is intrinsic.

Still, I want another win.

PizzaShaman · September 4, 2025, 1:48pm

9/4/25

MorningTime!

Ended the T break on the evening of day 33. I had done a Focus 10 session that morning, and the knowing it was time came out of that. Finally, I was able to sleep well for the first time since I had started it, and last night was good sleep too! Rest is not overrated.

Lots of good interactions at work yesterday.

Student stopped and asked me about my DnD experience, which was amusing to look back on with hindsight and knowledge of muh autism. Later on, his friend came by and asked if I’d be cool with being an NPC in his campaign. I appreciated him asking first, and gave him my blessing.
VP of my department came through for food! I always felt the interactions were somewhat forced on my end, and not always the best they could be, but I know he responds to LB in my aura. It has been different with the addition of GLM; I don’t feel compelled to say much now. He was pleased to hear about my dessert pizza experiment over the past weekend. He told me, “We like it when you try out new things!”
Another (female) student who has been chatty was hanging out again at dinner time. My stock responses don’t work so well on her. This time the interaction ended with her asking about where she could give me a good ‘review’; I told her to email the department director. It’ll be cool if she follows through.

Washing out until Saturday, and eyeing up a new stack of NE GLM/LB, NE Earth (the Mountain!) and Let’s Row v2, currently on the module screen while I do my final deciding today.

PizzaShaman · September 5, 2025, 1:46pm

9/5/25

MorningTime!

Ordered the NE GLM + LB !!

I would prefer, I suppose, to not feel that I need to have LB going in muh stack all the time, but it influences things so well at my job that I consider it to be “cheat mode”. I’ve always been the sort that would stack every advantage I can get, and in learning that I’m autistic, that hasn’t changed a bit. I daresay I need MOAR CHEETZ than the average bear because of the 'tism!

So yeah, that order is up and away. I did more thinking about Let’sRow V2 yesterday; realized that the great success I had rowing in spring 2024 was from the run of HeroWork custom that I had done. That stuff lasted until May despite not listening past December '23, I believe. I had the DnD campaign going as well, with my monk roleplaying, as another expression of that subliminal. Took me long enough to recognize that!

I have good pattern recognition, but sometimes I need to be told what to look for. I do post sometimes after reading someone else’s results from a particular sub because I then realize I have something similar going on in my life due to the same sub listening, like cing and the recent GLM posting. I don’t like sounding like a “me too!”, but I appreciate the prompting I get from others that helps me see my own results.

She followed through and left me glowing praise in the email to my department director! Boss Lady sounded a bit envious in telling me about it, how you’d think PizzaShaman is the “most positive and happy person” in the department; I told Boss Lady that the student obviously hadn’t met her yet!

I will try to come back and edit with the PizzaShaman relevant portion of the review later on.

Resisted temptation to do some listening, and I’ll resume listening tomorrow. Pretty sure I’m seeing the NE LB / KR results this week!

A student asked me to sign their 21st birthday T-shirt! LOL. That was a first. Signed my name with the black sharpie provided and drew a lil pizza slice, then I busted out my red sharpie and drew in some pepperoni’s on it.

Yeah dude.

Lion · September 5, 2025, 2:09pm

You’re one cool dude, PizzaShaman!

PizzaShaman · September 7, 2025, 4:53pm

Godlike Love arrived last night!

GodlikeLove

Think I’m going with this image.

I should wait until tomorrow, but I may give it a minute later on.

PizzaShaman · September 9, 2025, 12:57am

PizzaShaman · September 9, 2025, 1:29pm

9/9/25

MorningTime!

Been sleeping so much better since I ceased the t break! I may get up once to piss if I drank a lot of liquids before bed but that’s it, and I easily fall back asleep.

I completed one good deed yesterday, and I will have another completed today. Both are minor means of assistance, but I am sure they are/will be appreciated.

Once upon a time, my father was arrested. Maybe two weeks before Christmas. I recall that year envelopes showed up in our mail slot. One for my brother, one for my sister, and one for me. Gift cards to local big box store. Christmas was fucked anyways but that made it suck a little less.

I try to help out people as I am moved to do so, and I am happy that I was able to get it done this time (twice over!) instead of just having kind thoughts.

Let’s Row V2 ordered up as well

Spartan Core
Emp Fit St 2 Core

Iron Discipline
SPS Fat Burn
APS Torso
Fusion Optimized
Health Codex
Serum X
Deep Sleep
Synergy: Carpe Vitam

Yesterday’s listening was 1.5 minutes of GodLike Love, henceforth abbreviated as GLL, and 1.5 minutes of Mountain.

Feeling chill, at least until I look at the week ahead. I have a work event this coming Saturday, so I’ll need to have pizza prepared for that.

I should also create a time block to meditate at least a couple times, same with qigong and rowing.

Yeah dude.

PizzaShaman · September 13, 2025, 11:44am

9/13/25

MorningTime!

Yesterday’s listens:
1.5 min each GLL, Mountain
5 min AuraBoost

GodlikeLove and Mountain have taken my work experience baseline up a notch. I am getting more students talking positively about my pizza products and myself in general. Quality of interactions with my bosses has improved as well!

I have been able to observe my emotions when they arrive since starting GLL, and kind of view them in a detached fashion. It’s unusual for me to have this happen! Thought processes, sure, ever since I started RoM a couple years ago I’ve had that going on. This is different.

Work event today! I’m prepared as much as I can be at work, but the aura took a lil hit last night as relations were had. Should be fine though!

PizzaShaman · September 13, 2025, 11:49am

To follow up:

“Hi DirectorLady,

My name is ChattyStudent and I am a first-year transfer student here at College, and I want to write about how much I have had a positive experience with your staff. They have been friendly, and I can tell they work really hard to provide the food for us.

In addition, I also want to express my compliment to PizzaShaman, of how he makes very delicious pizza. It has good flavor, quality, and the sauce and cheese ratio is just perfect. I even find myself grabbing more even when I’m full! I also really like how there are many options and types of pizza to choose from, as the bacon pizza has always been a personal favorite of mine to get! I can also tell that he works very hard, and that he enjoys his job and connecting with the students. I also am encouraged how he has a hospitable, pleasant, kind, and positive attitude, and how he always greets students such as myself with a smile."

(IMO)
Subs used to help generate this review: Godlike Masculinity, LoveBomb /w King’s Radiance, Mountain

Lion · September 13, 2025, 12:11pm

Brilliant results as seen by an outside person. Awesome!

PizzaShaman · September 17, 2025, 12:42pm

9/17/25

MorningTime!

1.5 min each of Let’sRowV2, Mountain, GLL

The stack for the foreseeable future. I’ll cut out GLL for the actual challenge portion of Rowvember. Keep the scripting input tidy and focused!

No major updates. I suppose that is alright. Things continue apace at work; some days are real good, some days are good and busy, some days are just busy.

I did get the urge to do Qigong as I was getting ready for work yesterday, so I followed through there.

I (sigh, finally) figured out that my AuraBoost custom turns muh whole stack into aura, not just boosting the auric scripting of whatever I’d pair with it that day. I am considering a “ResultsBoost” custom with NResultsE core.

I did see a student yesterday wearing a Tshirt with the word “Spartan” on it and I knew that Let’sRowV2 was arriving that day, and I was correct in the knowing.

Feeling warmth in my torso after listening. May just go row today.

PizzaShaman · September 17, 2025, 1:34pm

Got another urge or knowing to qigong, so I did.

1 round Buddhist Qigong

Then

I’ll take it.

Malkuth · September 17, 2025, 2:07pm

Truer words were never spoken.

PizzaShaman · September 23, 2025, 1:38pm

9/23/25

1.5 min each Let’s ROW v2, GLL, Mountain

Dessert pizza tonight!

PizzaShaman · September 25, 2025, 1:36pm

9/25/25

3 min each LRV2, Mountain
1.5 min GLL

Looks like 30 seconds off last time! Well, just about. Still…Woooo!

Dessert pizzas went well the other night!

Also, of note: A club on campus asked my permission last week to use my name for a pin/button design. I saw it last night! Better than I expected. It will apparently be sold at the Homecoming table lololol.

PizzaShaman · October 1, 2025, 1:46pm

10/01/25

Yesterday’s listening:
3 min each LRV2, Mountain, GLL

Today’s row:

I had to scroll back in my machine’s logs to last November to find the last 10k I rowed! Too long!

I wanted under 45 minutes, goal achieved!

PizzaShaman · October 4, 2025, 5:27pm

10/4/25

5 min each LRV2, GLL, and Mountain.

Almost 30 seconds off from last time!

Homecoming event day. Blah!

RVconsultant · October 8, 2025, 2:43pm

Are you ready for Row-vember?

PizzaShaman · October 9, 2025, 1:09pm

I am not.

Something is different this year. I feel no sense of eagerness for the upcoming month. I’ve been trying to get back into a good rowing schedule. Last week was a step forward, this week a step back. I find it increasingly difficult to get my ass on the rower and to do the work, and I just feel tired. The 10k rows I did were ok, but my hands go numb around 7k meters and it’s a struggle to finish it out.

It’s been weighing on me this week. I’m at the conclusion that getting into rowing was yet another hyperfocus autism interest episode, as what I’m currently feeling (a gaping void within whenever I think of rowing) is the same as the other interests in my life that I’ve had, HemiSync Gateway Experience for example. I know spending time in the Focus states is good for me, but I rarely do it.

So what to do? I know there are some outside expectations that I participate in it. I also know that if I sign up, chances are pretty good that I won’t perform as I want to, and it would end up being another failure. The possibility exists that Oct. 31 or Nov. 1 I’ll wake up in the morning, charged up and excited to get on the rower. It’s also possible that I’ll get up those mornings feeling nothing, or dragging ass.

Instead of bemoaning my fate, I’m trying to strategize around my nature. That might look like setting a different goal of rowing instead of doing the maximum possible.

I’m trying to figure it out. Thanks for asking!