I will be posting, hopefully, weekly. I suppose it will depend on whether I have any new information to share, or have noticed more behaviours that are contrary to what I am accustomed to.
I chose Wanted because by nature, I have an Introverted personality. I’ve tested myself using the Myers-Briggs personality indicators over the years and have consistently landed with INTP. I like being an Introvert. I’m completely content with being by myself. Wanted will give into my personality’s proclivity to remain, generally very quiet about myself. I usually vomit information about things that I’m really into with people. For instance; I work in tech. If someone brings up anything related to my job - I get hella excited and want to essentially talk their ears out for hours. This is one facet of my personality that I can’t stand. I basically become and open book. Ugh.
I also chose Wanted for reasons that align with what I believe, are essential behaviours women will present when they thirst for a man. As a man, you always want the woman chasing you down. I can attest to this. This is how I landed every one of my now ex-girlfriends. Unfortunately, when it comes down to having women thirst after me, it doesn’t happen often enough. I want that to change. I would rather have an abundance mentality when it comes to dating. I’m 40. I’ve been single for about 4 months now, and I personally have 0 desire to get a girlfriend - not for a long while. I would like more options for dating, going out and having a damn fun time. I mean… I’m a single man with… urges… after all.
So without further ado, I present:
Week 1:
Observations:
I generally make a conscience effort to keep my posture proper. I have noticed that it’s more ‘automatic’ now. Allow me to explain: Walking through my neighbourhood the other day, I noticed that when I was ‘checking myself’ - as in, ensuring that my posture was more masculine (I was brought up this way), I was surprised to discover that my chest was already protruding, my shoulders were pulled back and my head was high. The fact that I was already ‘set’ was pleasantly welcome, albeit slightly alarming. I felt taller.
Conversing with people, I have observed that I maintain a steady and comfortable amount of eye contact with people I speak with; man or woman. More so than what I’m accustomed to. I have also noticed that my speech has slowed down during casual conversation. This is contrary to what I am accustomed to - I’m a fast talker. This was more controlled and almost seemed practiced.
Dreams I have are very, very vivid and sometimes disturbing. 4 days in a row I have been waking up at ~5am due to their intensity. None of the themes presented in all 4 dreams have been the same; although I can’t discount the possibility that my mind is trying to tell me something important and I am unable to pick up on it’s queues. I am disturbed enough from these dreams that I a remain awake for at least another hour. Two tops. I’m not much of a dreamer. If I didn’t have such a flexible schedule with work, I can see this becoming an issue. I wish I could dissect what my subconscious is trying to tell me, but the dreams are so bizarre it’s borderline comical to think about. Dreams are fucking weird, right?
I’m more horny than usual. I have a very high sex drive normally and I feel like it’s at least doubled my carnal urges. These usually goes in phases, but this whole week, the General has been standing to attention every morning - and sometimes just randomly through the day. I’m 40. I am okay with this. One draw back is I’m becoming unimpressed with porno. I love porno! I still do what I got to do, but everything I view is sort of ‘meh’ to me.
I have a strange urge to start picking up my kettlebells and start working out again. I really want to, but I suffered a shoulder injury about two weeks ago and it has not healed enough for me to attempt a workout. I think I can safely say that by the end of the following week I should be ship shape enough to start doing a routine.
I work remotely, so I’ve been neglecting my hair. It looks like a crows nest and getting a haircut is top priority for some reason. I can usually go months and not give a damn about it, but now? I wanna look fresh af. Same goes with the wardrobe. I started going through my closet and checking out what I have and what looks good on me. I never do this. I just throw a shirt on, put on a pair of jeans and away I go. Now, my shirts don’t fit good enough. My jeans, they’re too baggy. I want stuff that ‘fits nice’ with my body.