Philemon's Wandering Thoughts

[Philemon]

Finally motivated to start my first journal.

After learning the hard way that less is more and to stick with subs long term I want to really commit to proper sub usage and I want my journal to keep me accountable.

That being said I just came out of a proper washout and my stack this month will be:

C&C: Priority, I am really looking to take advantage of almost all the objectives of this sub.

LB: Deep self worth work, Internal validation over external, Raise vibration and boost other subs, Synergy with WDB about loving my authentic self.

WDB: Confidence with being my authentic self, synergies with C&C for leadership and social.

My overall goal with this stack is wealth. Ive realized with Zero Point that my comfort zone is working on the internal, I realize ive been like this my whole life. I want to challenge myself and grow by focusing on the external for a while. I want to produce a certain abundance that allows me to focus fully on my internal/spirituality later in my life.

I am waiting for RICH Trader to release and I will add it into my stack. As soon as it is out I will make a C&C and RICH Trader custom. My wealth path is through trading, I have been doing it for almost 6 years, 3 of wich profitable. I also have a business with a “BRO” (IC:BRO reference) doing asset management for private clients.

The reason I added LB and WDB is because I have identified that I have a self worth block relating to external validation that come from childhood events and a breakup when I was younger. I believe this blockage may have diffused into all parts of my life, effecting it negatively. I will run WDB and LB for ATLEAST 3 cycles. When I get my C&C, RICH trader custom I will run that for much longer until I meet a certain monetary goal.

Taking inspiration from @jelly 's Thoughts and Rambles journal I will follow his style of journaling.

[hyperbeam]

Love Bomb & Wanted: Dream Boy looks like a good duo in there.

I am interested to see how this stack turns out for you.

[Philemon]

As soon as WDB came out I got it because i thought it fit my archetype perfectly. Havent played it until my first 30 sec loop today.

Had so many synchronicities that where nudging me towards Love Bomb. I think its something I was really missing in my base. Played 30 sec today and I can feel the letting go of being so outcome dependent straight away. I am slightly worried it will clash with C&C a little but will give it time before I come to any conclusion.

C&C and LB will definitely stay in my stack for a while but there is a good chance I move to a country where I cant speak the language well so I may switch out WDB for polyglot. This would be in a few months anyways.

[Philemon]

Played my subs this morning in the order LB → C&C → WDB with about an hour or 2 break between them.

I could feel around early afternoon when the processing went from LB to C&C.

With LB I was quite relaxed and taking it easy. Not stressed or very driven to achieve anything, in a positive way. There is a sort of acceptance of where and who I am even though its not where I want to be. It felt abit recon like because I felt slight guilt for not being productive and taking it easy. If it was recon it was very very light and lasted about 2 hours. I spent that time doing some “productive recreation” Playing some piano and chess as-well as reading.

Suddenly C&C kicked around 6 hours after playing and there was some positive NSE events with an investor and a strong drive to take action for my goals.

Also with LB I am driven to listen to Coldplay. I suppose its a very “Lovey” type of music.

[Parsifal]

LB is the kind of sub that keeps on giving.
I’ve ran it half a year in 2024, then 3 more month in a custom.
Now I’m on the custom since early January and the effects are there already.

[Philemon]

Im really looking forward to seeing what LB is all about. All the objectives seem very subjective so I dont quite know what to expect.

I think I “understand” what its trying to achieve… At least on a surface intelectual level. I imagine with time it will unfold to deeper and deeper understanding. I am very open and curious to the benefits I will receive.

Have you had many external results with LB running it for such a long time?

[MAkh]

The best way to describe it for me is that it hits the beliefs and thoughts level, this radiates outwards to my external reality

Something clicked for me when I started focusing on internal results more than external

I don’t know if you are aware of the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions loop but that would be a good way to imagine it

This is a good breakdown of what I mean:

The Loop Structure

Beliefs → shape → Thoughts → generate → Feelings → drive → Actions → reinforce → Beliefs

This creates a self-perpetuating cycle. Love Bomb works by intervening at the deepest level - core beliefs about self-worth and lovability - which then cascades through the entire system.

How Limiting Loops Form

A typical limiting loop looks like:

Belief: “I’m not worthy of love/success/respect” or “I need external validation to be valuable”

Thought: “They’ll reject me” / “I’m not good enough” / “I need to prove myself first”

Feeling: Anxiety, unworthiness, fear of rejection, need for approval

Action: People-pleasing, seeking validation, avoiding vulnerability, self-sabotage

Reinforcement: These actions confirm the original belief → “See, I do need to prove myself / avoid rejection”

How Love Bomb Interrupts This

Love Bomb targets the foundational belief layer:

• Installs: “I am inherently worthy and deserving”
• Builds: Unconditional self-acceptance and self-love
• Heals: Wounds around rejection, judgment, not being “enough”

As those beliefs shift, the entire cascade changes:

New Belief: “My value is inherent and doesn’t require external validation”

New Thought: “I can be authentic and vulnerable” / “Others’ opinions don’t define my worth”

New Feeling: Grounded confidence, self-assurance, inner peace

New Action: Authentic self-expression, healthy boundaries, confident decision-making

New Reinforcement: These actions create better outcomes → confirms new belief

The Transformation Process

Love Bomb creates change through several mechanisms:

1. Self-worth foundation: Builds unconditional self-love independent of achievements or others’ opinions
2. Healing rejection wounds: Processes past experiences of rejection, judgment, or not being accepted
3. Deservingness installation: Installs deep belief that you deserve love, success, and happiness
4. Authenticity cultivation: Removes the need to perform or hide parts of yourself

The Dissonance Period

During the transformation, you’ll likely experience a dissonance period where:

• Old belief system is being challenged but new one isn’t fully integrated yet
• Increased awareness of limiting patterns (you notice them more clearly)
• Resistance to change (the old system fighting back)
• Rational-sounding justifications for old behaviors

This is actually a sign of progress - the loop is being disrupted.

Common Applications

Love Bomb helps break limiting loops in:

• Relationships: From seeking validation → to giving love authentically
• Social situations: From fear of judgment → to comfortable self-expression
• Career/business: From imposter syndrome → to owning your value
• Self-care: From self-neglect → to honoring your needs
• Personal growth: From harsh self-criticism → to compassionate self-improvement

Practical Integration

When you notice old feelings or behaviors arising:

1. Notice the feeling without judgment
2. Trace it back to the underlying belief
3. Recognize it’s being rewritten by Love Bomb
4. Act in alignment with the new belief - even before it feels natural

The subliminal handles the belief-level work. Your conscious role is to act as the person you’re becoming - this accelerates integration and strengthens the new loop.

[Parsifal]

For me it’s mostly about my “deserveness” level being raised because I consider my self worthy.

It started with me getting my first regular Minijob after one week of LB.

I stopped smoking (only for 2 months, but at least 2 months).

Took better care of myself, and this the most obvious at the moment.

Btw, it’s 4pm and I have to say good night.
Had a very good seminar this weekend, returned a few hours ago, and need to sleep.

Wouldn’t have done that in the past.

[Philemon]

@Parsifal

For me it’s mostly about my “deserveness” level being raised

^ This is exactly what I am looking for.

Had a big event in 2022 with lots of very fast sudden success that disappeared very quick. This took a toll on my “deserveness” level as you say. The success disappearing was probably due to deep unconscious beliefs that made me feel not worthy.

I am running LB with the intention to forgive my past self and find true internal power and worthiness.

[jelly]

@Philemon

Also with LB I am driven to listen to Coldplay.

I’m being so serious right now. I’ve never listened to Coldplay in my life. Yet for some reason one of my first dreams last night had me looking them up. I was even confused why I was doing it in the dream. I fell asleep right before you made this journal entry.

EDIT: I think I figured out what happened lmao. Since you tagged me in the first post it sent me an email. My subconscious then treated that post like it was a message sent to me. I sometimes will get dreams about the emails sent to me while I’m asleep.

[Philemon]

WDB is working very well if I am already in you’re dreams.

[jelly]

LMFAO that’s actually hilarious

[Philemon]

Initial impressions is that LB is really taking priority at the moment.

Last night in bed I could feel a strong energetic sensation in my heart area and it was as if my whole body was vibrating.

The way I understand it is that if a sub takes priority over others it is a signal that there is a block relating to the content of the sub and the subconscious is making it a priority. No wonder there where so many syncronosities that brought me to using LB.

Its funny I am abit frustrated trying to find out what event in my life or childhood may have caused this potential block, but I have a sense that I just need to let go let it happen and let it all unfold. Trust that the sub is doing its thing.

[Philemon]

I must add the way people are already treating me on this sub is fantastic.

A strong warmth and gravity from LB and WDB but still a strong respect from C&C.

(note Ive been running C&C since its release not counting a washout)

[Philemon]

There is a very fine line between discipline and self harm.

I have been very disciplined in the past couple years, being in my early 20’s and working hard to have a more pleasant future. (I must say I also enjoy what I do). At many times though I have done stuff I didnt want to do because I felt strongly that it was the disciplined and right thing to do over and over discipline for the sake of discipline. This got quite hardcore in the sense I tried to take a holiday alone in 2022 and managed to go 3 hours before wanting to be productive. I have sacrificed alot of things I wanted to do to be productive.

Reminds me of a quote I read somewhere cant recall where. “Only a slave quantifies its existence through productivity”

This I think is quite positive overall but in many cases it came from a place of “I am not good enough and I need to do painful and challenging things to be better and worthy”. This is a frame I am now choosing to dissolve.

With LB today I can see the pendulum swinging to the other side abit. I felt very comfortable in doing nothing and just being lazy using the excuse of rest. There needs to be a balance where I can do things that challenge me from a position of self respect. “I am someone that gets it done because I am that guy and deserve these results” this is a much better frame.

That being said after after a big period of laziness I went to take an ice bath did a small workout and 2 min of stretching with red light therapy. Took some time to groom myself all from a position of self love and critically with no agenda. After that I just felt much much better and could really feel the love energy coursing through my body.

[Philemon]

Getting quite alot of recon from LB specifically.

Ironic that I got up to 4 min of C&C last cycle with no recon and fast blooms, but 30 seconds of LB is giving me quite intense recon on my rest day.

I am grateful that its happening. There is a strong sense of reassurance that I found the bottleneck of what part of me has been holding me back.

Ive identified with the financier emperor for years even before ever doing subliminals.
However. Unconditional self-love, the ability to receive without sabotage, to rest without guilt, finding success from internal worth rather than grind. Are never things I thought I needed to focus on.

Kingdom of heaven truly is within.

[Philemon]

Ive noticed with C&C that my chess score has improved alot without much practice.

Ive been running it since release and elo has gone up over 100 without playing much. I can tell it really comes from the chessboard empire feature. I am more aware of all the pieces on the board therefore making less mistakes and seeing more attacking opportunities. Also seems like I can see 1 or 2 moves ahead more than before.

@SaintSovereign

The Chessboard Empire

Helps you elevate your thinking from moment-to-moment reactions to strategic vision – the ability to see the board while others see only the next piece. The world begins to look less like a series of random events and more like a map with roads, rivers, and borderlines. When decisions appear, you don’t grab them impulsively. You study their territory: where they lead, what they cost, what they fortify.

Your attention moves like a sovereign’s council – patient, deliberate, allergic to impulse. You ask yourself what this choice builds, what it weakens, what it invites. Your instincts stop being reactive sparks and become strategy – quiet intelligence that measures timing the way a merchant measures weight. You can feel the long game forming, not as tension, but as composure.

When opportunities arrive, you don’t only see the reward. You see the chain: the second move, the third move, the unseen consequence that follows like tax after profit. You begin choosing roads that compound – relationships that scale, deals that create more deals, actions that make future actions easier. Even setbacks look different, like weather across a campaign: inconvenient, but not personal. Your ambition becomes less frantic and more imperial – expanding with discipline, moving with purpose, building structures designed to endure.

[Philemon]

This morning woke up at 5 AM naturally after going to bed after midnight.

Played my LB loop shortly after waking up. Usually when this happens and I am abit sleep deprived I will just tough it out and not even try to fall back asleep. Intact usually I wouldn’t even be able to fall back asleep.

After about an hour awake I almost started falling asleep at my desk so I went back into bed and slept for another 3 hours waking up at 10 am…

This is completely alien for me im quite shoked that it even happened. I didnt feel guilt about waking up so late, feeling comfortable to letting myself rest. I am not going to play lawyer games and try analyse why I was able to fall back asleep in the first place. Struggle to fall asleep is something that has plagued me for a long time and is an accepted change that must signify something bigger within me.

[Philemon]

It seems I got through a recon block with LB now I can already feel the effects of the other subs I am using becoming in stronger.

WDB especially. When walking around the house its like I am gliding. I can feel the deep calm in my nervous system as-well. The physical shifting is activating in the form of a desire to take action on it. Unconsciously avoiding eating a snack, getting some sunlight (witch feel particularly good thanks to LB), as-well as a workout.

[Philemon]

I had a crazy manifestation within minutes. I assume its an effect of LB.

Went to play padel, its at a private club mostly surrounded by untouched rainforest. I started playing and I had the thought it would be cool to see the flying lemur (Colugo). It a very rare animal that looks alot like a massive flying squirrel. There is one that hangs around the area but you see it once a year if you are lucky.

A few min later not only did we see it but it swooped down almost touching me. After that it was perched on a tree for about 5 min while we played and it seemed mesmerized by me looking at me deeply. Note this is a rare wild animal that is usually very scared of humans. To see one so close is “once in a lifetime” type of event and it usually runs away. But it just stayed there looking at me.

I wonder if there is an LB effect on animals because I had lots of butterflies landing on me. A cat appeared out of nowhere and wanted scratches. LB is basically turning me into a disney princess lol.