One thing I noticed yesterday is that I started brushing my teeth almost every evening now.
Due to my ADHD and Depression I had times when I rarely brushed my teeth.
Now, I normaly brushed my teeth in the morning, thinking it would be good to do it at night as well, but never could get myself to go downstairs and actually brush them.
Now, for some time, perhaps a week or so, I feel zero resistance going downstairs to brush my teeth before going to bed.
Huge Achievement
19.06.2025
Thursday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 2
Grailbound 5:10 EE 5:10
Still no answer from Support about my name pronunciation ticket.
So I’ll have to wait a little longer with ordering RoS+ Spiritual Reality Alignement
More Space for Grailbound and EE
Also since the magick has returned to my life, its not as urgent. Although Im really thrilled to feel the boost RoS will undoubtedly bring.
21.06.2025
Saturday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 3
Grailbound 5:10 QL 5:10
I can’t tell exactly why I decided to run QL1 today.
I plan to integrate it in my EE custom.
So I know it would be best to give it a go for a cycle at least before integrating it in a custom.
So maybe a few loops of QL before the EE update drops.
Just read an old post from @Malkuth, sharing a video of Psalm 23 and mentioning Psalm 137.
I really enjoyed the music.
But later when I opened it again to show to my fiancee my eyes started to water.
When I then tried to read her Psalm 137 I was crying so much that I needed to pause several times every line.
At first I didn’t know why this Psalm hit so hard.
Then I started to realize that I still feel exiled from Zion. That my deepest desire is still to be with my Abba Adonai Elohim.
I think that’s all proof I need that RoS is of utmost importance.
My soul cries for this deeper connection with God.
23.06.2025
Monday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 4
Grailbound 5:10 QL 5:10
Still no answer from support. Might turn out as a month of QL and GB.
25.06.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 5
Grailbound 5:10 QL 5:10
Since I still didn’t get any answer from support, I might just postpone RoS until next cycle.
And since a phone update, my keyboard closes every 5-10 seconds. Makes writing annoying.
28.06.2025
Saturday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 6
Grailbound 5:10 QL 5:10
Forgot to listen yesterday.
I’m starting to get a little pissed because my ticket isn’t answered after three weeks.
Probably because I really want to run RoS.
I don’t know if it’s that hard to make a remark concerning the pronounciation of my name in my file.
Originally I had planned to have run RoS for 6 days right now.
But who knows if there are good reasons. Not technically, but like Providence. Perhaps it’s better to wait with RoS and this is the divine way of telling me to wait a bit longer.
Same with EE update. I wouldn’t have thought that it takes so long. But thanks to the delay I now listen to QL1 instead.
25 seconds of Sanguine
Just had to call the ambulance for my mom.
I surprisingly calm, but at the same time deeply worried. It’s like two parts of me are fighting.
One part says it’s only for the best. The doctors can help her better than I can.
The other part fears a call from the hospital that she’s gone.
The hopefully part is dominating, but the other part is delivering unexpected sucker punchs right in the gut.
An almost sleepless night.
Troubles falling asleep, one panick attack.
Forced myself out of bed nevertheless.
Then, while drinking coffee, my mother sent a message.
She’s alive and I am relieved.
I started to ask myself if this is a normal reaction or if this fear is just an expression of a deeper issue like a trauma, distrust of life or whatever.
For reference, she had hypertonia (245/124) that wasn’t manageable with her medication not even the emergency drops she got.
So I called the ambulance.
And then I feared that she might not survive the night. In hospital. That was looking after her.
She didn’t have a stroke or something serious (besides the dangerously high Blood pressure).
I think it’s in deed a deeper issue.
Need to ponder more about this.
Today my mother got angry with this misogynistic doctor and demanded to talk to his boss. Now the head of the department leads her treatment. Much better now.
I, on the other hand, was quite productive today.
Woke up early, and did quite a few tasks I put off for some time, like installing the air conditioner for my Grandma and some fly screens.
Maybe I’m using work now to cope with stress and fear. This is much better then my past coming mechanisms like porn, gaming, social media or even the forum.
How is your mother doing? Does she feel better?
Yes. We don’t know about the causes of the hypertonie, but the medication allows her to keep it in moderation.
Next week, she has an appointment with an alternative practicioner to look at the causes.
In the meantime, she started MET tapping to fight some symptoms and its working greatly against her asthmatic cough attacks.
Nice to hear. All the best for her recovery!
02.07.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 7
Earth 3:00
06.07.2025
Sunday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 8
Grailbound 7:10 Earth 7:10
With my mother almost dying my listening schedule got a bit delayed and mixed up.
Bought HLTB and used it.
Probably until the end of the cycle.
My tickets finally got answered so I’ll order my RoS + Spiritual Reality Alignment name embedd soon.
I plan to use it for 3 cycles. Maybe after that I’ll make a full tour through HLTB. Together with GB and EE.
Also Fire recommended to run KB 1+2 for my heat flash issues in Khan 4 and KB3. So that might be the follow up to HLTB.
We’ll see what the future brings.
How is your mom?
08.07.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 9
Grailbound 5:00 EE 3:00
Live is challenging once again.
In an unpleasant but necessary way.
Stable.
Hypertonia is under control, side effects of medication are present, but better than the constant fear about a stroke
10.07.2025
Thursday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 10
EE 3 GB 3:00
All good
12.07.2025
Saturday
Cycle 6
Listening Day 11
Grailbound 3:00 EE 3:33
And another cycle has passed.
Time to order Ross.
Edit: ordered
And I’m asking myself, if I should increase listening time epxerimentaly.
But how would I know which listening time is best?
I rarely feel recon.
So am I cutting my results short by running only 3 minutes? Or is it the fastest route to success?
I need time to see changes and results. But how should I rate the improvements or the rate of improvement when it takes so long?
Looking back at my KB1 run, going for full loops was the missing step I needed to get the results I craved. After two cycles of short loops.
But would this also apply to GB and EE?
Simply increase listening time until I notice blunt recon?
I’m unsure.