Overhaul (QL, Emperor, Primal)

[Goldfinger]

Sorry guys, but this is going to be a long first entry☺️

Been with SubClub and on the forum for the better part of two years, used some subs here and there and seen the results, with most being very profound to me. Been mostly on a stack of Emperor, RoM and Sanguine in customs for the better part of four months and then narrowing in on Primal and Limitless. I have written reviews for two of them and I’ll have to write the rest later.

Emperor

@Goldfinger

Came back to Emperor after release of New Emperor and ran it about 2-3 times; it hit fast, little to no recon and encouraged introspection. Was too good I immediately pulled the trigger on my Emperor/Sanguine custom.

@Goldfinger

This thread has been silent for a while and ASBR is taking all that shine, so here I am to break the silence . Ending my washout for my third cycle run of my Emperor and Sanguine custom. Here is my review and it’s going to be a long one as I’ve been getting some pretty interesting results.

Primal

@Goldfinger

I haven’t ran it long just two cycles, but this sub is literally social/internal masculine freedom. You don’t hesitate or over complicate, it’s just how you are.

Now, for this next period I’m about to enter, I need to narrow all my sub use towards one specific, but overarching goal which is

Normalizing the ability to focus my mind, body, spirit - my entire being - towards achieving a specific goal and all required to do so. At will. Within the next 8-12 months. Achieving this goal will make a very big difference to me.

How will I know I have achieved this?

• When I normalize the ability to express my intent/goal and why it matters with utmost clarity. Without hesitation or procrastination.
• When I normalize the ability to plan the steps to my goal with as much detail possible.
• When I normalize the skill of discipline.
• Normalizing the ability to focus on any activity that brings me towards my goal.
• Normalizing the ability to forgo any activity that doesn’t contribute towards my goal.
• When taking action towards my goals becomes normal, just like another Thursday for me.

I’ve been using a combination of different subs trying to achieve this goal, LE, BL, Executive, Emperor, EB and recently Limitless but I always kept running into walls and at the core of those walls are learning and success fears intertwined with some dose of fear of self, self esteem and self love issues. In essence, I realized what I need right now is a big and deep overhaul, starting with learning and success limits.

I may use a variety of subs, but any one I use within this period must directly contribute/intertwine to this goal and if it doesn’t I won’t be using it, except for case-by-case use of 15-45 secs of micro loops.

The ideal sub plan is to have a multistage running throughout this period, then a mid-term sub and then a specific-use-case sub/ or an empty slot.

MAIN STACK DRIVER - QL
QL and Emperor were the two subs that brought need to SubClub. It’s been a long time coming now and has been delayed for over a year testing other subs and not really playing the long game. Now my reasoning for QL

• Clear mind with clear maintained focus
• Creativity: ability to relate the abstract with the concrete to create something - often new.
• Productivity/executive functioning: ability to efficiently execute steps towards a clear goal.
• In-depth understanding and conscious leveraging of cognition. For intuition, motivation, mental health and more.
• Conscious state management both emotional and mental.
• Brainpower: processing information, learning/adapting, strategy, dynamic problem solving, systems analysis/improvement etc

More Details

1. I’m of the opinion that learning is foundational to a lot of things we as humans need to develop and this sub cultivates the ability to regain control of the mind and cognition, handling beliefs concerning learning ability, while also enhancing the biological and biochemical aspects of learning.

2. Learning subs currently give me recon - mostly energy drain and a shit ton of procrastination and apathy to learning. I used RoM for about 5 cycles as it was easier, but I barely scratched the surface with what is possible with it and the learning results didn’t stick for long after I dropped it. There is a lot of blockage with anything dealing with learning. This sub will be the biggest contributor towards crushing the learning, productivity and some success limits.

3. The next 2-3 years are going to be intensive, including academics. I chose to focus on cognition and executive functioning first before others. Besides, I have enough time, why not use the best tool for the job?

Mid-term - AM
There was a lot of deliberation for this position. However, AM is best suited for my goals. Narrower scope, faster hitting, lesser strain on my processing queue, while progressing towards my core goals. This will be perfect for my desired focus on action and my finances.

More Details

Emperor has always been my go-to and since my last run two cycles ago, I’ve been constantly pulled to put it back in stack but I’ve been running away from it simply because it brings out a part of me I can’t yet handle.

1. On it I feel like I own the world and everyone must bend to my will. I don’t oppose this feeling, in-fact, I love it, however, I have the tendency to manually bend everyone to my will. Like I get powerful and I don’t know how to handle this power. There’s more in this, but I’ll just stop here.

2. I desire nothing, but perfection - from myself, my environment, even reality - my perfectionist tendencies kick in hard and if it’s not, I must bend it into my perception of perfect. Sometimes I just want to disappear and come back perfect, even though I consciously know that’s not how it works and it seems all tied to the wrong reasons. This is why I stacked it with sanguine and it was excellent.

3. Thirdly, it’s too broad for my current goals. It pushes me towards the pursuit of perfect on all levels - physically, financially, socially, sexually, even spiritually - and the drive for it comes, except all at once, then I proceed to create a lot of little different goals and just end up cycling through them, while getting nowhere, in essence - I’m not yet at the level of prioritization, focus and discipline that I need. Now, I just want focus with a lot of drive and ambition that I can then learn to channel towards any goal. I tried this with EB and it was too much shadow to deal with at once and then in a custom, but it still wasn’t narrow enough. Hence, the downsizing and to also give room for QL.

The Emperor will be back.

MEASURABLE GOALS

• Clear the rest of my courses with a minimum of B+ grade (extends even after I complete this journal)
• Sit at >=3.00 GPA by the end of this journal
• Have >20k in net worth by the end of this journal specifically through trading.

Welcome to my first journal.

[Goldfinger]

Over a week now since I planned to start this stack, but it’s still on hold. I keep getting this pull to continue running Emperor and Primal, like there is work that has started and must be completed.

To test this, I ran a micro loop and I got instant results:

• I got complimented that I’m taller and huge. I’ve been feeling taller for a while, but now it’s like I’m subconsciously acknowledging it and then my environment just confirms it. As for being huge, I haven’t actively engaged the gym in a loong time.
• The next day as I stepped out the front door to get to work, some girls down the street called my attention and waved me down, only to pull up beside me to ask me if I was having a nice day. Note, I never knew these girls even lived on my street, and I seem kinda intimidating to most women (especially when I’m focused), so them approaching me at that moment came as a surprise.

I ran another micro loop of Emperor and Primal

• My fear of wielding power is healing. This is very subtle, I can’t yet explain it, I don’t have external results yet, but I know this is what is happening.
• Another thing I notice is letting my authenticity shine through, it’s become a normal thing for me.
• On Emperor, I get what I liked to call rebellion (till DR: R), and it kicked in very hard. At the core, it’s like “I won’t be stuck within a box/ideal, I will transcend it” it’s simple, but expressing itself in different powerful forms. Previously, I thought it was a boundary & respect thing, but now it’s going much deeper.

I also keep having this aversion to running AM. Subconsciously, it seems I don’t need it, but consciously I keep thinking I need AM to focus on my finance goals. I’m beginning to see this as using subs as a type of crutch.

On another note, I’m tired of trying to brute force my path. I think I’ll just do this like I did my run of Genesis - run it and let the change happen, while observing said change.

[Goldfinger]

It’s around 2:00 am now, finally clarified the confusion on my mind.

Going forward, Stack will be QL St1, with 30 secs of DR: LD once a week and then micro loops of Emperor and Primal to maintain current growth till my custom comes in.

[Goldfinger]

Clarity clarity clarity. More coming in and then I have to modify the plan🤦‍♂️

[Goldfinger]

From offline journal.

Saturday 29/06/24

• Cycle 1, Day 1 Quantum Limitless 5 min
  Started feeling the mental strain at 3:30 mins into the loop.

Sunday 30/06/24

• Cycle 1, Day 2 Rest Day

• Feeling woozy, the kind of feeling I get when I’m extremely hungry
• My head feels denser
• Been feeling slight aches in my head moving from the top down to my ears and back again. Like wires realigning
• Surprisingly no cognitive dissonance or mental fatigue.
• My eyes feel strained and adjusting slower - after I blink, words are blurred for a longer while before adjusting.

Monday 01/07/24

• Cycle 1, Day 3 Rest Day

• The realigning feeling continued today, but lesser and mostly between my ears. It’s weird but interesting. I remember this felling though, I had it last when I was on Stark.

[Goldfinger]

Just to note down the biggest changes that have remained since I’ve used the subs.

Emperor

• More assertive, especially at drawing boundaries. Some times I unconsciously do it, then introspect/analyze if drawing such a stern boundary was optimal only for me to see the reason why I did so down the line.
• I feel this comfort within myself that I can’t really explain. During my run of Emperor and Sanguine, while at work one day, I found myself reasoning that my body is my space and found a way to link it to my external reality being my space too (there’s something I’m not really remembering here). It felt like a smooth mix of both deductive and inductive reasoning and it made absolute sense in that moment, like it’s an absolute truth and then just faded from my consciousness the same way it came. Since that day, the comfort just kept seeping in ever so slightly.
  The situation that made me aware of what had happened was when I went to a house for a job, never been there before, never met these people before, but I just went in and felt so comfortable like I owned the place, even playing with the little kid there right as I stepped in through the door.

Sanguine

• I observe when some muscles are tense and then just decide to relax. Like an automatic tension reminder that goes off periodically and then I relax that area.
• More bodily awareness. Although, now it’s more tricky to observe it without taking control of it.

RoM

• Been off RoM for about three cycles now and my immersion in music is deeper than my previous baseline. On it I could feel the entirety of the music lyrics, instrumentals and all, even the artist in the moment the song was created. Once, I almost cried while listening to a song on the bus, I wasn’t sad but I just connected with it. Although the acute effects have dropped, I keep hearing instrumentals I’ve never heard before in songs I have been listening to for years, I just get the energy of the songs, with little insights of the genres the artist pulled inspiration from.
• Wider vision. Normally, I have a wider than average vision range, which has gotten wider. Now that I’m off it, the details at the edge are not as clear.
• My movements are more fluid. Very fluid in fact paced environments, like streamlined plans being planned and executed in real time.
• Fast reflexes, like “see things from the corner of my eye and grab them mid air” fast. I think this is still consolidating as it gets crazy sometimes and then goes below my previous baseline.
• For some reason my throwing accuracy dropped seriously.

Primal

• I can be in a moment and then just decide to start having fun and then my environment just bends to it my fun.
• Wits, humor, charisma way higher. Previously I had streaks when I was “on form”, but now I don’t miss, if I do, my recovery is good and I don’t even have to think much about it.

Genesis
The most beautiful, simple and yet complex sub I’ve used. I have so much praise for this sub despite using it for just 2 cycles last year, definitely one of my best.

The very core of the change that happened on this sub still eludes me till today, but I can tell it happened to give way to the “exploration of the inner world” described in the copy. I can’t really explain it, but the biggest effects from this change are

• A fundamental block of expression was broken down, now it’s more like I’m an artist expressing something. This in turn made it easier to run and express other subs I use.
• Some things within me that I just understand but can’t really explain to another person. I’ve tried to capture some things on paper multiple times, but they still elude my conscious explanation. Like no explanation can fully encompass the internal pings and the more I tried to explain the more I went off mark.
• [Edit]: forgot to add the motivation and action taking. It’s the very definition of inspired action, it was clarity => very natural mix of motivation and desire => more clarity => goals => execution.

This sub is very simple, very subtle, artsy, beautiful and still manages to be kinda abstract at the same time.

[Goldfinger]

Finally done distributing the results to their respective discussion threads.

[Goldfinger]

Tuesday 02/07/24
- Cycle 1, Day 4 Rest Day
Cramming not learning, feels like I’ve not built on the foundation I have. Mathematical terms keep flying over my head, like I just read them, used them that instant and the forget them instead of truly learning them.

Focus is currently poor, like I can’t just zone in as I used to

Logical creativity is currently poor. I freaking got as B on my A-level math exams without reading and simply by flowing from question to solution. Now I don’t even see the next step to take, even though I know it and it’s brain dead simple

My drive for my academics is really low. My repeated math courses have dragged down my GPA and I don’t even feel bothered to crush them, even as it has dragged me back a year of studies and I’m on a study permit.

This is bullshit, as the contrast is too much from who I have been, I even have the evidence, I’m a freaking force to be reckoned with in any field of academics.

Now I’m content if I barely meet the passing requirement? Where did all these come from? All this laziness, apathy and brain fog?

Or did I get crushed under the pressure, which just led to apathy and avoidance to cope?

Funny thing is my body is so composed as these thoughts go through my mind

I say no more!!

[Goldfinger]

Wednesday 3/07/24
- Cycle 1, Day 4 Rest Day
Second day of class, consciously trying to focus but it’s like I’m not following what’s going on.

People telling me to just, “forget everything else, focus solely on your studies, when you graduate you’ll get a good job and everything else will come”

I just look at them and within me I’m like “I don’t want a good ‘job’, I don’t want to work for anyone, besides how can I just up and give up on the type of growth I’ve been searching for - for years - the type I’ve seen people at the end of their lives still don’t have” I just want to be different, I want to be one of the greats, I want to transcend, I want to be a force to be reckoned with.

And as sub use goes, once I start building momentum, something big comes up, I end up switching to a ‘better’ one for the situation, only to repeat the cycle, fight the same bosses again. Not this time.

Why do I feel so detached, like I’m just pouring my thoughts out and the emotions accompanying them are missing. No anger, sadness, zeal or even sense of understanding, I’m just neutral.

This is a very unusual type of recon for me.

[Goldfinger]

Was supposed to run a 3 min loop tonight.
But when I started journaling all the stuff above, the top part of my head started feeling dense with a slight ache and has remained for about two hours now.

Edit: Now, the re-wiring feeling is back along with the ache.

[Parsifal]

This sounds a bit like my overexposure experience.
Could be that or recon.

[Goldfinger]

It’s recon. I usually do 30 secs to 1 min for any new sub, but this time I wanted to go from 5mins down to 30 sec in 4 separate loops

Also, I get a lot of recon on cognitive subs and didn’t even understand why or even thought it possible that I had some deep learning blocks and then Saint said he had a similar issue in the past.

I want to get a glimpse into the nature and intensity of the learning block with this wave of recon.

[Goldfinger]

Took a nap and had a dream where my course mates started getting sniped as we leaving the lecture hall, while some others were going berserk and helping the bad guys to beat other course mates up.

Feel much better now.

[Goldfinger]

Also remembered some of my tests using micro loops with ME and AsCh from my previous cycle

15-30 secs ME + 30 secs sub x + 15-30 secs AsCh and I got instant results the longest was about and hour.

15s - 1 min sub x + 15-30 secs AsCh gave instant results, but they felt less smooth without ME.

15-30 secs ME + 30 secs sub x + 15-30 secs of sub y + 15-30 secs AsCh and I got results within 5 hours.

Taking the micro loops of subs x and y up to 1 min each extended processing time considerably, I got results within 36 hours, but came with more profound manifestations.

Experienced little to no recon. As for density, most times I didn’t feel anything.

The mindset shifts came as a result of the manifestations. Like the manifestations can only be explained if the positive mindset shifts were true.

[Goldfinger]

I finally understand the feeling on Emperor more, it has this feeling of competence - this internal knowing that I’m as competent as the most competent person to ever exist.

The effects of this internal knowing are

• I feel on equal footing with people that can currently offer more value than me
• My body shifts to be capable to express said competence
• Then, my external reality begins to confirm this same competence. The ROI is increasing and the amount of confirmation from my environment Is more then before (I suspect NSE at play)

[Goldfinger]

My inner voice is more profound and interesting . It’s like I’m guiding it but also being guided by it at the same time.

I’ve been noticing it for a while, but now it’s clear as day what’s happening.

[Goldfinger]

The more I try to force my academic section the more apathetic I become to it.

Rn I feel pulled towards anything but my academic goals😩

[Goldfinger]

Unyielding faith gives powerful conviction, powerful conviction makes powerful world views and powerful worldviews create powerful realities.

[Goldfinger]

It took me 5 days to bounce back from a 5 min loop.
Ran a 3 min loop last Friday, waited till today and still no recon.

Now that I’ve found my baseline of 3 mins, I’ll drop down to 30secs - 2 mins loops and get more loops in.

Starting with 1 min loop tonight.

[Goldfinger]

I’m noticing a trend. As soon as I say I’m not having recon with QL, I get a reminder like “bro we’re still in here working, don’t think we aren’t”

@Goldfinger

Ran a 3 min loop last Friday, waited till today and still no recon.

After saying that, on my way to work I got hit with a migraine predominantly in the front of my right hemisphere. It came and went in intervals till I went to bed last night.