Finished a couple more degrees. I guess I have gotten into degree hacking and have a couple more on the way. Legacy of Spartan didn’t do much for me. I ran Paragon and Paragon Sleep with Renaissance man UWX which seems to have had the most impact at maintaining my GPA. I alternated Sanguine with Paragon too, I like Sanguine. I have taken a break from Emperor which was my original title and the one I stuck with through most of this journey.
I gave up on Wanted (just made me spend money on silly things I didn’t need), and the other sex/seduction titles because they just don’t really work for me, much like the fitness related titles. Probably not the product though, just something in how my brain rewired itself post TBI.
Generally, I have noticed a much more positive attitude and drive since I started. At the same time, I tolerate much less BS in my life now. I think most of that came from Emperor. I do still have periods where I fall off the wagon in terms of finding myself feeling aimless and without purpose.
I know in my rational mind, Utility + Competency + Purpose + Self-Respect (not pride), but I think I have trouble in terms of maintaining a sense of purpose.
My plan was to head into age 50 totally transformed and on a completely new path accomplishing all of my goals. I am, I am doing just that, but some days it still feels so empty. I wonder if it is just the missing element of getting fit. I am in the gym daily, but I seem to make little progress and fall into disordered eating way too easily when I am under stress. To top that off, I have had to consult doctors and gain access to medication to control blood sugar and pressure. I find that aspect a bit depressing and had imagined I could do the whole deal naturally without any kind of medication involved. They are also talking about getting me on something for GAD, but I find the thought horrifying. After my TBI, I was put on Atavan, and had a very bad experience when the insurance denied it after they had me on it long enough to established a baseline with me taking it 3 times a day.
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