OmFlux's Non-Clever Title for ZP Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Dec 1st: Chosen/RICH
Dec 3rd: Wanted
Repeat ad naseum

My track record ain’t so great with journals, but I’m intrigued by the technology here.

Running Wanted, as I stated in another thread, I’m interested in the physical shifting and really not terribly interested in the impact it may have on other women as I’ve been married for a couple decades and don’t really need to invite trouble in my life. Hoping it helps grow back my hair and shapes my physique.

Running Chosen because it’s intriguing. I’ve risen fairly high up in the global company I work for, and I’m not sure whether I even want to move up higher. Seems to me that the level above me typically gets the axe when reduction in force occurs, and I really need the family health insurance because…'Murika. And the other part of me feels that I’ve hit my ceiling. Maybe I haven’t. Would like to see what Chosen can do for me.

What’s new from previous journals is that my wife and I now own a gym as of a few months ago. We managed to find a promising opportunity at the right time as the previous owner fell behind in rent when gyms were closed for several months last year. While I’d like the gym to eventually be my bread and butter, right now it barely breaks even, and if a piece of equipment breaks, well then you run red. The good thing is I own all the equipment and I bought it and all the intellectual property with cash. The bad is the rent sux because it’s in a shopping center and I’m locked in a lease for a few more years. So the past few months it brings in about 15k and about 13k goes out. Scary part is that we are now back to mask mandates in my county indoors and it comes at a terrible time when gyms typically get a lot of new memberships in December (new year’s resolutions and such). And there’s wind that we may go into Vaccine mandate as early as tomorrow which will severely impact the current membership numbers.

So am running RICH, hoping to make a difference here. I’m considering other revenue streams as well, but I’m trying not to over promise, under deliver in my life right now, so we will see how it goes.

After this 45 day plan, I will likely switch things up but will keep the same journal.

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#2

So far this is what I noticed, and it happened from day 1…I’m really just not bothered by anything right now. I used to get heart palpitations at night in bed…would sleep horribly because of it and so it becomes a spiral downward at that point. Always worried about work. But the last few days been just non-emotional about things and we are actually in what would normally be a stressful period, with completing end of year projects and also trying to secure budget for the following year. A couple of surprising things at work. We had some budget declined for some important projects next year. We are a region that reports to global and so we compete with priorities of other countries. It’s a tough position to be in and the regional stakeholders will often play the blame game and so as I’m the messenger, I have a target on my back. Had a meeting today to deliver the not-great news and my manager was on and several other people at higher pay grades than me. And so I delivered the bad news confidently and instead of leaving it as “out of my hands” I came up with three alternative ideas, two on the fly there, and the stakeholders were very pleased that there with what I presented. My manager, who loves to hear himself talk (nice guy, I’m not complaining, but sometimes he should stop because he gets it wrong) and often steals the limelight, deferred to me and publicly backed me to remedy the situation. So it looks like Chosen is making its mark.

I’m much more assertive lately. My wife seems to be deferring to me, which is unusual as she is very Type A and I am very Type B. I have had a couple instances where I felt I came off too aggressive. Someone in the band was being negative and I let them have it. Not in a jump up and down fit type of way, more so that I just said, “I don’t care, this is how it is and this is what we’re doing.” And sure enough, we did what I said we would. He came up to me a day later and asked what was going on with me lately. I’ve also been firm with my boss too, because quite frankly I think he’s been mailing it in lately and he gives conflicting direction from day to day. We’ll see how that shows up in my review as I know they are calibrating year end assessments right now.

Had a band gig Saturday night and the turnout was really terrific. I used to be a statue on stage but now I’m wireless and so I was moving around quite a bit, walking out into the crowd. A woman easily twenty years my junior came up during break to talk to me and my wife actually walked up to mate guard, so that was kinda funny. And well there’s a female member of the band who’s married to a younger, much better looking person than me, but I felt like she was more touchy feelie and giving more attention than usual. Again, this is not trouble I really want, but I’m positive it’s WANTED doing some work

What got me excited about Wanted is that I saw a little bit of hair growth sprout up on the crown of my head which is mostly bare, and that’s driven me to really delve into the journal.

I guess that’s it for now. We’ll see how things go. I run WANTED again tomorrow.

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#3

Second running of Wanted occurred late afternoon yesterday. So I’ve been through two iterations so far of all three titles. I find myself battling my manager quite a bit the past few days. It could be dangerous or it could be not, but he has a habit of forgetting what was just talked about and so I’ve been documenting our talks now and sending it back to him, and when he deviates I point him back to the notes. Seems rather ridiculous that I have to do this, and it may end up backfiring on me, but I guess I’m getting fed up with how things in the past have been run. It’s occurred to me that Chosen is working through me in these actions.

I am quite frankly just trying to get through this week and next, and then I have the rest of the year off, and hoping to work on myself more at that time.

On a whim I went and signed up for one of those companies where they assign you a coach for accountability with Nutrition. I start Friday on this one. Despite my athletic background I tend to go in these ebb and flows where I just eat like garbage for a few weeks and wind up undoing several months of hard work. I signed up for a six month block which is much longer than I’ve tried before. So, I suspect Wanted is pushing me in this direction. Full disclosure, I’m eating a pint of chocolate peanut butter ice cream as I type this…Achilles’ last stand?

My wife are going away this weekend for the first time without the kids in probably five years. I’m not going to lie, there’s a part of me that wants to run Diamond the day we leave, but I will stay the course. I’m as guilty as anyone of jumping around in the past and not giving anything the appropriate time/attention for the benefits to catch on and grow.

Today was a day where I didn’t really get out of the house. Work and then dinner and time with the kids, and now my check in here on the journal. More days are like this than not, and with the first heavy snowfall today, it’s easy to get down. I’m slightly overwhelmed by a number of things right now but doing fine overall.

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#4

Ran Chosen and Wanted this morning. I won’t try to Lawyer think this away but there was some positive feedback at work again today in all my meetings and interactions with my boss and stakeholders. It appears that I am receiving more respect at work and am being deferred to for my direction. Again, I feel Chosen is showing more blatantly than Rich or Wanted. I’m feeling much more comfortable expressing myself groups, which was typically awkward for me in the past. Wanted will be up next on Dec 11th.

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#5

I was away for the weekend, with little internet access, just my phone and I intentionally unplugged so no update till today.

I ran Wanted on the 11th, and today I ran Chosen/Rich. Chosen is the one that provides the most obvious changes for me. In the context of work, I am trying to close some things off before IT shutdown and end of year. I am continuously surprised lately at my requests for information and things like that get fulfilled without any pushback. I ran into an issue where some funding was declined for next year, which I believe I mentioned above, and I provided some workarounds and normally it would take a month or two for the appropriate approvals but I was asked to choose one workaround late last week, I did, and it’s been approved already Globally.

Wanted helped while I was away this weekend. My spouse and I spent a lot of time at wineries, restaurants and breweries and I would often feel quite a bit of anxiety when having to be this social but it was very much a breeze. I was very comfortable in talking to anyone and everyone and it made the vacation very enjoyable.

In terms of being pushed to action, I started tracking macros today, after playing quite laissez faire since COVID began which manifested in some extra visceral fat. Wanted’s pushing me in the direction of wanting to improve my physique.

RICH, I believe takes time to manifest. However, I had a couple surprises with money coming in, small amounts. A refund on a service that my gym had been paying for and a five hundred dollar check I hadn’t been expecting.

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#6

Switched up now:
Day 1: Stark ZP; Chosen ZP
Day 2: Rest
Day 3: Love Bomb ZP

SOOOOO Hard to choose and stick with things. Chosen is really terrific and I am seeing benefits at my day job. Shake-up in senior management at work, and at my age I thought perhaps I might be at my ceiling. There’s this internal battle going on in my mind, day after today…It would be great to just ride out my current role till retirement (I’m a VP and so I’ve done well to get here to this point) followed by the other side of the coin which says MOAR! I’ve spent most of my life wishing that I’d never taken this route and yet here I am still driving it even though there’s off ramps every couple miles.

Anyway at the day job, I had my first 1:1 with my boss’ boss. The smart money is on my boss being let go in the next couple months. Anyway the boss’ boss tells me that I shouldn’t be worried about a shakeup, as she sees me as part of her future leadership team, which means perhaps Senior VP at some point, potentially. I don’t control that part, I just control my actions, and it’s worth noting that I am much more comfortable speaking my mind with Senior Management since I’ve been running Chosen. And I feel like when I am speaking that I am very composed and articulate, and I feel like my audience is acknowledging it.

Stark ZP - I’ve never really run Stark, and part of me wants to go back to Emperor and or Rich but the other aspect to consider here is that my spouse and I own a gym. I put my non-retirement lifetime savings into buying it with cash, and the initial months were promising, but in December my State went back to Mask mandates, and so historically December/January are the best months of the year for any gym. Memberships increase significantly as people gear up for New Years Resolutions. But December ended terribly, lost a couple thousand. And halfway through January we are on pace to do maybe half of what a normal January should be.

So now I’m more than a little nervous. Now I’m starting to have to consider diverting funds from my day job to keep the gym running, since I’m on the hook as a personal guarantor for the next three years of rent. I am thinking perhaps Stark might help me to innovate the gym, innovate some marketing, some programming, etc.

I started this stack on just three days ago, so Love Bomb was played today?

So why Love Bomb? - Stress quite frankly. I’m a walking encyclopedia of stress reduction and I do energy work, spend thirty minutes a day meditating, etc. Am also physically fit (gym owner) and I journal, etc. You spend five minutes with me and you’ll be like, “that’s one mellow dude,” but there’s still the turmoil inside. It’s not endemic but at least once a week, I ponder heavily why I bother trying to better myself in any way. And when it builds up, I can be quite intense in pushing back on my spouse on kids. This is no bueno.

I’ll run this for a cycle to see where it goes. Quite frankly I’m really waiting on Ultimate Artist ZP, but I don’t even see it on the roadmap. Would like to run it with Renaissance and Sage ZP’s, or Mind’s Eye ZP but am content to wait.

Why? Because I’d like to take one of the off ramps from my day job that steers me toward artistic efforts for profit.

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#7

I think I am experience recon right now. Today is technically an off day, and tomorrow would be Love Bomb ZP, but I am considering either going to down to just one title overall, or stopping for a washout.

I thought with my 35 plus years of experience listening to Subs of various types that I’d be immune from this but it seems I am not. Looking at my journal entries (paper journal) from the last two days everything has turned very dark and negative. It spilled into a Leadership meeting at work today and I was very much not acting like a leader.

I’ll be spending the day figuring out whether I need to push through, or take a break and start over with just one title…and then it becomes which one title do I choose?

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#8

Have you considered the Reconciliation Reduction Pattern found on the support site?

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#9

Thank you, I was just trying to find that article. Bookmarked. I’m close to a washout, so I think that I will do the extra rest day, as the article suggests.

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#10

You’re welcome. Good luck with the extra rest day.

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