This too shall pass
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Reconciliation has been undeniable this weekend. As I said before lost my debit card but hope to get a new one today, sleep paralysis has also been a thing the night before and I definitely feeling things getting broken down now. Feeling really on guard right now and I just hope today to goes smoothly.
Hey thatās interesting. I went back to Khan St1. And Iāve experienced sleep paralysis too
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There is some nasty stuff that Khan TB needs to breakdown in both of us it seems. Iām grateful for it though.
Brother can you give me some advice on regards to what sort of action you are taking to support the breakdown during quarantine times?
I got nothing my g. With the whole social distancing and not having much to do just focusing really on myself by using TB for like healing. Things are holding me back from taking action and my aim is to clear all that out.
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Khan TB is really putting me through it. Made a major mistake at work today and I canāt believe it. Felt so terrible about it and telling my father wasnāt fun. Feeling better now though. You know that feeling when just finished crying? Thatās what Iām feeling right now, like I just let it all out.
Crazy dream last night where I was driving down a dark road late at night in the hills and a group of serial killers tried to get at me. They set traps, they were chasing me all over the place and the only thing that saved me was that my car door was locked because they tried opening it first. Then some how I got to safety and I was in my house with my family for breakfast.
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are you stopping the TB?
What is your reasoning behind asking for your journals to be closed? Do you want them closed or deleted? The latter can be done by you I believe. The former is unlikely to happen unless something in the thread happens which makes it volatile or otherwise violate the forums standards. If Iām wrong, kindly ignore me but if your are asking because youāre simply no longer using those journals - that is unlikely to happen. It prevents others from asking questions about your experience in the future if they should come across your journal(s). It would be contrary to the nature and goals of the board
The journals are a mess and this one is on the verge of becoming that. Iām trying a new approach where I actually have progress to report instead of just another mess of a journal which would be a waste.
I mean I go from one subliminal to another subliminal then another subliminal and each time not having much to show for myself because I either its not the right sub or self-sabotage. As result my own journals are just all over the place.
Are you switching back and forth between journals when you switch subs or starting a new journal each time? How will closing the journals help accomplish what youāre having issues with
Iām not switching between journals. I just donāt see the point in having 3 journals where nothing is happening except me not really being able to commit to a sub. Journals are supposed to be a record of your journey and in each one I road block myself to the point where itās ridiculous. That is the theme of the first two journals and the third might be on the verge of becoming that because Khan isnāt what is best right now.
I bought StarkQ and the plan is to not make journal entries until I have real progress instead of a journal thread which is just āhere we go againā
@Baphomet I woke up starting to understand your point. Closing the threads was too hasty especially when it does add to the story. @SaintSovereign please disregard my request to close the threads.
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Weird dream last night. It was a mixture of Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The family didnāt want me to leave and they were trapping me on their property. I wasnāt chained up and I canāt remember if I was tied up or if they just didnāt bother but I was being chased down by a big Jason type killer who was in female clothing. A little bit of Silence of The Lambs then. There were also barb-wire fences that I tried climbing over as well. I also remember confronting the head of the family and I was so weak. I couldnāt hurt the guy not with punches or weapons, I just attacked as best as I could and started running.
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A rough dream
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Iām not ready for StarkQ or any off the big subs. Starting off small with AscensionQ then I will go back to StarkQ eventually.
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