My StarkQ Journal


Not an attention grabbing name for a journal but oh well. I find myself at a crossroads or having an existential crisis constantly endlessly thinking about how I will be 52 years old in July and trying to figure out where I want my life to go. Curious at times if I am the oldest guy here . Often wondering how my life came to where it’s is at the moment and how I let this shit get to here and how I can get it back to where I want it to be and dearly miss as fast as possible not just myself but for my family as well.
Listening to this podcast and hanging out with my wife.


I am 45 in july and i sometimes worry about my age but then again as long as i am fit and healthy i will keep on trying to better myself. Jcast i have seen you on other forums and i admire your will to keep on improving yourself, keep moving forward brother


Hey @jcast, not your age but all of us will reach that age sooner or later.

We should keep on moving forward and telling ourselves its never too late to reach our goals while appreciating what we have.

Subliminals don’t put in the line “I am too old for this” in the script.

I look forward to reading about your journey on StarkQ after the fantastic Total Breakdown journal.


Day 3 - I have been thinking quite a bit between last night and this morning how people including myself can get obsessed over unimportant or trivial things how do I swap that so I can become obsessed with and get an almost if not a complete tunnel vision for success and my goals? Where very little to nothing distracts me from going after and achieving what I want?


I’ll be 47 in a month. Life as I observe it is a journey from birth to death (spoiler alert). If that’s some sort of speed race; I don’t want to win. Other than that, I seem to see a series of transitory momentary experiences. Constantly coming and going. Valuable beyond any other treasure. Some I like. Some I hate. Most I’m oblivious to. But they’re all priceless treasure. A series of moments, traced in vapor. Couldn’t hold them if you tried. From what I observe, wise people practice cherishing them. For me, I’m just doing my best.

Apart from that, this whole thing doesn’t seem to be a contest. But evolution wired us to feel like it is one.


Day 4 - Experiencing quite a bit of shift in focus with StarkQ. Because of my frustration with the inability to go to work at the moment I have gotten in the habit of checking news sites including local media every day. So far today I just glanced over Google news and haven’t looked at anything else. Feeling quite a bit more optimistic than usual and my confidence is slowly growing. Was made aware today of some YouTube videos by Gary Vaynerchuk where he talks to and about people over 50 and the opportunities we have. I have also been giggling myself silly watching another YouTube show Nats What I Reckon. Fellow crazy long haired metal head