Day 1
My stack for this 21 day period and maybe the next 21 day period afterwards will be Khan ST1 ZP, Emperor ZP, and Mind’s Eye ZP. Looking to have more exposure of the healing aspects and will be trying out ST1 double listening every other day. So it’ll look something like this:
- Khan ST1 x2, Emperor ZP
- Rest Day
- Khan ST1 x2, Mind’s Eye ZP
- Rest Day
- Khan ST1 x 2, Emperor ZP etc
Will try it out this way and see how I feel, if I’m able to process that I’ll keep it that way. So as far as Exposure goes I’ve listened to Khan ST1 just once and that was like 5 days ago near the end of my previous cycle of Emp ZP, ME ZP, and Chosen ZP; replaced Chosen with it for the last loop. I did notice a calm within me and a greater focus on my sexuality and the female form. As I have had more than enough time in between then, I have experienced dreams of me being in confrontation and being in control and directing my anger and not being lost to anger but directing it to defend myself and those that I care about. Could feel the inner workings inside of myself being worked on and felt like my subs had been given a boost, case in point as I did cardio for 2 hours straight for 7 miles to make up for me eating bad. Was in pain, but I felt it in myself to not quit and preserved through that as it was my will to do so and I was going to be a man of my word to myself. Been sticking to cooking for myself and documenting my calories, plus going to the gym more often; I have been dropping the weight and reaching lower weights of me getting into shape.
After running it today, was more in my head today. Had a moment in which I was consciously trying to remember my own shortcomings or negative events in my life so I could help the sub focus on breaking these thoughts or preconceived ideas. After work I feel asleep for 3 hours straight, makes sense as my body is processing all this. It’s been easy to keep up with taking cold showers, feel like my stoicism has improved. Looking forward to directing my sexual energy for positive purpose of evolving myself, been practicing semen retention for over 4 months; do feel like it helps with directing my will and focus. Back in December I had applied for a new job, didn’t hear back but on my second day of my washout. Checked out my email and saw that just yesterday I had got an email from them, I went further to cleaning out my email and saw another reply in January. I reached out to them, so looking forward to this Monday if I’ll hear back from them as I said I’m open to talk on the phone on Tuesday.
Been trying to visualize me getting accepted, my current workplace coworkers being happy for me. There is no apprehension of me hesitating to leave my current job if the pay is more at the hospital, some questions pop up in my head as whether I’ll like it there. But I will thrive where ever, I am strong. Benefits to this job is less contact with general public and more money than I am making now and hopefully a set schedule there. Funny enough in my life there have been people that I know recently who will quit there job for a new place in the last two weeks has been more than three people in a row, feels like a sign of me leaving my job for this improvement; I’ve been at the same place for more than five plus years now. Looking forward to becoming a Khan in my life, I will try and write every day. Will tag @Billions here is the start of my journal 
Saw a very pretty fit blonde, initial thought was she wouldn’t go out with me. Then I asked myself why wouldn’t she, I didn’t have an answer to that question. But then my head felt a like I had less weighing me down, all the girls I saw looked available to me; like I could be with them if I so desired. Total breakdown is wonderful. Had a dream this morning that somehow I ended back up with my ex, I pronounced a word this way and she got mad at me telling to pronounce it this way instead. In my head I was like screw this nonsense, looked at her and told her I’m leaving and I’m done with you; just leaving her there watching me leave. That was a wonderful dream.