My journey with Ascended Mogul

I’ve become more and more nonchalant about social media since running the subs - I don’t use instagram anymore, Facebook is just a source of information for my photography and reality creation news and I hardly bother to contact people on social media unless its urgent or they are close friends.

I am learning to be more focused on my goals of making money , excellence in photography and reality creation. I must be patient and look long-term - my breakthrough may come tomorrow, next week or next month and everything that I have been running will come to fulfilment.

@SaintSovereign When will the Left-Hand Path subliminal be out?

Just came in - a friend of mine who works overseas in the airport retail business wants to set up something in my country and asked if I am interested in becoming a local director and shareholder. Seems strange these days I don’t get job offers but offers to be local partners…

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I kind of manifested a business trip to a certain location for the new company that is promoting Nordic products. I was told that I would be given the support I needed to make a trip to one of the Nordic countries to explore business opportunities. Never been to that country before so would look forward to an all-expenses paid trip.

Also, interestingly, the prospect who approached me yesterday to be local director and shareholder for his company actually is an expert in retail supply chain management, and he said he was willing to provide me with some guidance and direction on retail supply chain management. This is the help that I actually need for my role in the Nordic goods promotion company as I am new to this business and have been telling my partners/shareholders that we cannot remain as middle-men long term and should at least aim at becoming distributors.

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Just took the Myer Brigg’s test - I am an INTP.

Actually it seems that the description of INTPs as below does apply to me. As an example, I am always trying to cover all ends and make sure that I’ve explored all the alternatives/options possible when I am researching and thinking about some problem.

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one’s conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition.

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I have been actually organizing informal alumni events in my country for the overseas university I did my postgraduate studies at.

Today, I had a call from one of the alumni members who asked me if I was interested in building up the alumni base in my country . He said that he had experience in such activities and wanted me to take the lead and work towards a building a formal alumni chapter in my country and the immediate region. We just had to come up with a solid proposal to present to the relevant people in the university. I would be the Chairman of this local chapter and he would provide support as advisor.

I felt very surprised - nothing is going to happen immediately but if this alumni chapter thing starts rolling, it will be the first time I would actually be leading something major…

Anyway my local director opportunity for the airport retail business might not realise but I am fine with it.

I think something is happening… but I don’t know what. A lot of things in my life are still the same actually so it is hard to tell really.

I am more concerned with the money issue now - despite all the opportunities that have come in since the 5-6 weeks since I started running Ascended Mogul and then on to Emperor, I still am having financial worries - the Mogul in Emperor seems to be still sleeping… Maybe I should start stacking Mogul with Emperor.

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It seems I cannot remember my dreams these days.

While a previous expression of interest to go work on a project in a certain county was not realized, it was interesting that the client who I have been working with for a long time asked me if I wanted to go and spend some time in that country working on a project, with the time totalling a couple of weeks - probably not my desired city but never mind. I was quite happy with that schedule and just told her on the spot that I would be happy to help her out.

Of course, there is still a process of bidding to get pass, and I will only know whether we win that project - I believe chances are high - at the end of the month.

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Had a dream in which I was supposed to prepare for a roller-coaster ride. Initially there was a feeling of fear as I climbed up the platform to board the roller coaster at its highest point, but I somehow overcame that fear. In any case, I did not have to board the roller-coaster anymore due to some change in schedule.

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how much risk I have taken in my life and to what extent I have managed to push myself. For the past 6 months, stable income has been a problem for me and I had been living like a pauper, forgoing spending for a lot of basic stuff - all because I chose to go on the path of being self-employed and facing all my difficulties head-on. I have been waiting for a relatively large sum of money to come back to me after I withdrew from an investment program and make my life easier financially, but it is still not here yet.

It is through faith and hope that I am continuing to survive this day.

Has what I have been doing been worth it? I don’t know now. Perhaps everything is subjective and I need to overcome other people’s perceptions about whether myself going on this path has been worth it. Perhaps it isn’t worth it if one hopes for a stable, predictable income every month from his job working for a company with constant promotions until he retires, then he decides that he can take a well-deserved break and spend on what he likes. I did hope for that type of lifestyle previously, but I guess I have moved further and further away from that model.

Anyway, I am amazed in way that I have so much resilience to persist. I think I was inspired by one of @Fire’s posts where he said there were two options when running subliminals - spend time on “emotional healing” with the risk of being stuck in the state of needing emotional healing all the time, or just keep on pushing. For me, I chose the second option to keep on pushing. Guess my subconscious is stubborn and hell of a bitch such that I don’t get the results so quickly and effectively like many other users - but I will get there one day.

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I have been mixing Limitless v2 with Emperor at night when I sleep -with my headphones on at a clearer volume. I have had clearer dreams, though they are of very mundane stuff like myself suddenly waking up in my brother’s house or telling my mother that I will be going out of my house.

Anyway, I was just wondering if my constant stress and anxiety has been due to energy vampires. It is hard to live with an energy vampire under the same roof and I feel drained everytime I talk to the person and whenever the person is around me-which is often much of the time. She feels like a heavy block of energy trying to knock me down every time she is around me-worse when she speaks.

I guess this should be one the goals for me while I run Emperor - to take control of my own energy and my own life.

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It seems that my dreams are more vivid with Emperor v3 and I remember them more clearly compared to the past month, when the vivid dreams suddenly stopped happening.

It’s now my second month running Emperor (just switched to v3 a few days ago) and I am wondering if all the wonderful things that I thought were going to happen to me seem to have dissipated like my business partner going silent, my projects continuing to be delayed, etc. I had the same similar situation last year when I ran Emperor - lots of doors opening then suddenly closing on me again. Perhaps I should just keep on persisting , but its hard not to worry…

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I realise that an important thing I need to learn is how to stop caring about how others view me. This is my life, and how much physical effort I have put in to succeed in life does not matter to anyone else, and why should anyone care if I believe that mental effort (imagination, law of attraction, metaphysics, subconscious mind) plays a more important role in success than physical effort?

Like many, I have been brought up to believe that the harder you work and the more effort you put in to grow your plant, you will reach your goals. Now I am slowly moving out of this mindset and I want to believe that the human mind can accomplish much more than most people think.

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For some reason, I feel calm but at the same time can’t seem to really focus on my work today. I know I suffered from lots of anxiety in my professional life, and any kind of slight mistake in my work/projects/business dealings have caused me tremendous stress, guilt and anxiety - this has in fact over a long period of time ruined my professional life in the past and has largely resulted in where I am today.

I admit and acknowledge the fact my anxiety and over-emphasis on validation by industry peers and seniors has caused me much of the stress. Perhaps because I was influenced by one of my perfectionist bosses, I spent so much time worrying about how other people in the industry viewed me and often could not sleep at night worrying about clients being dissatisfied about the quality of my work. All that stress impacted on me mentally and physically and I am only slowly beginning to recover from it.

I feel that at least, I now have the courage to say no, and in the next email from a client asking for more changes to the project I delivered, I am going to tell the client that I have done my best and will not be able to make any more changes.

I have also begun to really accept and see through the fact that what I (perhaps many others) had as the perfect job is actually an illusion. The business world can be a meat-grinder that asks for the sacrifice of an employee’s soul, often by dangling incentives in the form of high salaries, corporate perks , fancy titles, an office location at the top floor of a skyscraper offering. All these benefits may just disappear one day due to some unforeseen circumstances because a mere employee doesn’t control his own destiny.

I want control of my own destiny. I know that I am the Captain of my own Ship. No one can take that power from me.

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I started running Khan Complete overnight as I was curious about what it felt like. I had some strange dream where I was in some sort of structured learning environment. I can’t remember the details of the dream now- only bits and pieces like when I was walking along the road with my friend to attend a certain lecture held in another location and accompanying us was some sort of senior (in real life all of us were classmates in school). In another portion of a dream, I tried to show another friend a photograph in a document which had him inside but when I opened up the document, the photograph was missing.

Anyway, when I woke up, the words “A Course in Miracles” kept on appearing in my mind. I know that that is a famous book.

Words and names that I don’t really care about have been appearing in my dreams actually, over the past week. They are names of people who were mere acquaintances and with whom I have virtually lost contact, but I just happen to have a memory good enough to remember them and I guess they don’t remember me, neither do I know where they are at the moment.

But perhaps “A Course In Miracles” is worth my further exploration.

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I’ve had some issues with a client not happy with my work when I feel I’ve tried my best. My client has put off the remaining payment until I did some additional work for them.

I don’t know whether it is Khan or Emperor or not - but I’m just deciding to take my time and not be rushed by the client now - they aren’t really worth my time and not everybody is worth my time.

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Ran Khan Stage overnight and somehow overslept. It’s not a very happy feeling waking up and I have feelings of boredom and despair.

I think I will go back to running Emperor v3 for the next month- have been running Emperor for about a month now before trying out Khan. Khan can wait…

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I decided to combine Stage 1 Khan 2 loops with 4-5 loops of Emperor v3 - it will make things easier somewhat.

I think one thing that has made me ponder about today is about what I really really want. Is this what Stage 1 aims at doing? For so long, I spent money on various healing and self-help therapy modalities because I was (and still am) in a bad financial situation. I had been angry, hungry and eager to catch up with my peers in terms of financial status and now I really think about it and am beginning to understand that all that money and status is not really what I want.

I guess what I had been striving for is actually love, acceptance, intimacy , respect, security as well as well as a feeling of accomplishment. All those healing and self-help therapy modalities wasted my money and I don’t really want to spend anymore time on those.

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 Thats something ive realized on the path of personal development aswell. I originally started becouse i had a dream of being wealthy and a race car driver. When you dig deep in personal growth though, you can get closer to enlightenment and not be soo attached to those more surface level desires. But... being that the original reason i started on this path is for those surface level desires, ive decided im going to get them anyways no matter how much i change as a person in the process haha. And than of coarse you can pursue a higher purpose if you want and the surface level is satisfied.🙂
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My dreams during sleep whether I am running a subliminal or not have largely been mundane, so I don’t usually really bother about them.

However, last night, while running Khan Stage 1 during my sleep, I had a dream seeing myself excluded from a certain activity that the rest of my classmates in school were engaged in. In real life, I have always felt excluded and neglected, even up to now. But anyway, I am at peace with such things these days and they don’t really matter to me, and rightfully, I don’t need social validation to even be happy.

I am also realising that I have less of that anger and resentment towards my parents or their religious fanaticism these days. At least I am not so stressed/anxious over stuff relating to that. I do have other worries on my side, such as my finances, but I think that as long as I am patient, things will turn out fine - my anxiety over my finances seems to be due to people’s perceptions about how I am living (as well as wasting) my life and creating a burden on others. That is FALSE thought that is created by my mind, and my inner reality should work towards eliminating such negative thoughts such that my true desires will manifest in the external reality.

Over the past 6 months, I’ve realised that I have been able to give up on a lot of things and actually can survive on a very very low budget. Apart from some money spent on socializing over meals, I can’t remember when was the last time I really bought something costly out of desire rather than out of need.

Being able to let go of mental burdens is also something else that I am working towards. I have much less detachment for many things in the world these days - the simpler my life is the better. For me, the realization that our human life-span is only like a speck of dust within the entire universe has forced me to change my perceptions of time and reality.

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Something pushed me to re-organize my photo album online and take out those photos that were irrelevant to the type of photography that I wanted to improve in. Those photo albums that I took out made up perhaps 60% of my online photo portfolio but I decided that they were no longer as relevant and appealing as I felt them to be.

Strangely, I also decided to clean up my social media history and today I deleted all my posts on Facebook, or kept those posts that I did not bear to delete hidden in my timeline which I would not really access too. I am doing the same for Instagram and have deleted most of my Instagram photos.

Perhaps, Total Breakdown is making me try as much as possible to forget my past and to guide me to look at the present moment and the future - the past shouldn’t be that important anymore, and I don’t think there is much meaning in holding on to memories that don’t benefit me in anyway. I am of the belief that our past can be changed based on how we perceive it, so why let social media shape my history and remind me of my past worldviews and activities?

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I have to say, I feel like crap sometimes when I am running Khan Stage 1. Not sure if it is due to jet lag from a recent long-haul business trip or sleepless nights but recently I felt like my whole body was on the verge of collapsing.

I’ve also reached a point where I feel that I dont have much that I really want to spend on - I would love to get more money for my own basic needs like food ,housing ans savings as well as money to solve my own and my family members’ financial problems,but if someone were to really ask me what kind of stuff I would spend on beyond my basic needs now if I suddenly have lots of money ,I would find it hard to answer and I dont have any interest in spending my money on frivolous stuff or to show off my new found wealth. I would probably invest the money for the future , upgrade myself with a course or just use it to help other people.

I have little interest in acquiring material goods for the sake of social validation.

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If you read around, you’ll discover we all feel the same.

But I did not lose interest in wealth and making money at all. Not for the sake of it, but because it will make my life better and give me more freedom.

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