This is my first Journal entry here on SC. After using these amazing subs for nearly a year straight I figured it was time to start journaling. I’ve never journaled before, let alone online, but I know it is time and to try to be more of a part of this amazing community.
Right now I am running:
Khan Black ST1
Wanted Black
Mogul (although I had been running EoG ST4)
5 minutes of each every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
I have 34 SC major programs and Khan Black seems to be the one sub that has made the biggest difference in my daily life and I have only been running it for the past two weeks. Maybe it was just perfect timing after going through EoG and DR. I never realized how powerful my own personal sexual energy was before running KB. That sexual energy is the root of all creative energies. Though I have used porn I’ve thankfully never have had an addiction to it or needed it in my life. That is, I can leave it behind without any issues. I know I have had some weird shit happen to me as a young child sexually, but I am not how it happened. I have no memories of sexual abuse or being touched inappropriately, but I was circumcised which was a great sexual trauma for any child. I remember being very sexual as a young boy and learned to touch myself around age 8 or 9. Anyways, I’ve always been hypersexual and wanted sex from a very young age. Faced a lot of rejection from girls my own age.
Sorry, I don’t want to give a recap of my sexual experiences (or lack thereof), but I knew as a young man masculinity and manhood was important, something I never really had a good example of from my father or step-father. Coming into Khan Black has been truly profound for me. I feel as if my whole identity as a man is being gently cleansed, healed, and set straight. After reading about KB and reading the forum thread on it I knew that it helped to heal sexual dysfunction and other sexual issues like porn addiction and other things, but that it was also a great way to start living a “NoFap” life. And since started KB ST1 I have not wanted to masterbate. I mean the sexual drive is still very strong, if not even stronger on KB, but I feel it is helping me to see myself as sacred, that my sexual energy is special and sacred, and to hold it with honor and love. Like I am honoring myself for the first time in my life, not mindlessly giving my seed away or wasting my lifeforce.
I feel my sexual energy growing and expanding and I sense that others have sensed this too. Not sure if it is the aura from Wanted Black or not but I notice a lot of women looking at me a lot more while in the store and elsewhere. I’ve had a female friend mention to me that I look different but wasn’t sure what it was that I was doing or what the difference really was, but said that I look really good. Well, I feel good and I feel like I finally have my life “by the balls” so-to-speak. That holding my sexuality as sacred was a huge missing link to my life and personal growth.
I am looking into Sexual Transmutation methods and esoteric practices as I continue on the Khan Black journey. I cannot even imagine what life is going to be like even a few months from now going into the higher stages of Khan Black.
I’ve quit my job and started work for myself, being my own boss, setting my own schedule and making much more money. Starting Real Estate Wholesaling and looking to start bringing in REAL money and wealth for the first time in my life. And I attribute so much of this growth and progress over the past year (and even over the past month!) to Subliminal Club’s amazing subs. They are the real deal. I am so very grateful!