Finally arrived home about 10mins ago.
When to a friends party, haven’t seen them in a while. Meet a lot of new people. I had a few people say I seem more toned more, and bigger (both in muscle and fat LMAO) but that’s the bulk. Meet a few people I wanted to meet and apologies. Caught up on lost time about what we have been up to etc etc.
Quick run down without to much detail.
Not doing this anymore. I’m going to wait until The Beast Within & The Beast Unleashed are merged into one. Once this version has been released I’m going to build ZPQ Name Major with Apollon.
Yesterday was a listening day but I thought about listen but for some reason I didn’t want to. I’ll listen to it tomorrow.
Looking at moving to a better gym right now. Most of the gyms in my area are around 100-200 a month or 1-2k a year.
I’ve made a list with a few gyms, I’m going to view in person on Saturday.
Ended up viewing 3 gyms today, option 3 was the best choice I’ve made it had all the equipment I needed, that the other gyms and my old gym didn’t have.
Chose to do the yearly membership. I paid the joining fee which was pretty cheap and I get to have 3 months free before they charge me. I’m going to go tomorrow as it’s a day I will have free.
Modifying my workout plan again, to include the workouts I wanted to do original but couldn’t due to the limitations of the gym.
Love is a burden.
It’s current 2am. I need to sleep but I can’t. All I can think loving someone or family is such a burden. So many choices to make but I can’t make them. When I do make a choice, it’s never liked by anyone. It’s so tiring. I try to sleep but I can’t.
Most of my thoughts are to cut everything and everyone out of my life and just vanish. I think that’s what I’ve always wanted. To be gone.
Noone to rely on me. No one to even know I’m here. So much has happened in a day. Maybe two day, I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually recorded a real entry in my online journal.
All of my past posts have some way linked to family, love, friendship when I think about. I go back and read them and someway they are linked to them. It never has been for me. It has always been for them.
Gym, work etc has been for them. Working out at first was because I enjoyed it, then started to hate it once I got compared to other family. Working was a means to help, but I don’t like to work for others. Which is why I’ve spent time trying to make other means while working. Normal right? So many other things.
I think I’ve reached the point where I’m going to be doing everything for myself.
I’m not allowing anyone to make choices for me anymore. I’m so tired of that. I’m just going to allow people to hate me and my choices that I make.
I will be free in this life.
It’s been 8 hours since I’ve post that and I only got 1 hour of sleep. In that time, I spent more to write what I really wanted, and how I can get it in that time and idea came to me. A really amazing app idea. I spent the time writing it out and have a somewhat detailed design/idea.
I’m going to running Asc QTKS, with the addition of Khan ST1 (Hopefully, they release Name Major Multi Stagers) and Index Gate.
Honestly, I really love how EE ZP got updated. I’ve been told that when there’s work to be done quickly, I’m the go-to person. I’ve noticed that at work, I’ve become more professional in the way I speak and act, but I still have that friendly and social side in me.
Sleep tracking with EE and EMP is pretty strict but amazing. It’s funny because WHOOP keeps telling me I should be having poor recovery and sleep, but it doesn’t feel like it. Because of that, I took the WHOOP off to let it soft reset. I’ve given it about 10 days, so I’ll put it back on tomorrow morning.
Meal prep is going pretty well. Sometimes I go over by 100 to 200 calories, but that’s not much, I either cut it from the next day or just don’t count it.
The new gym is amazing. I love the sauna, the equipment, and the people there. There’s so much equipment, I actually have options on what I want to use. I love it. I’ve tweaked my workout a bit to match the equipment I prefer to use.
Edit:
I should say there’s more to talk about, but I’ve been using Khan ST1 alongside my QTKS. I plan to add a new QTKS once we get more out of BATTLE #4, I don’t want to place an order and then find out The Beast Unleashed & Beast Within got updated right after I hit checkout. 
The reason I started using (Yesterday) Khan ST1 was because of therapy. It helped me realize I’ve got a lot of unresolved stuff, and I need to heal. I was considering DR, but I wasn’t sure which one to pick, so I went with what I know and trust: KHAN.
ST1 definitely kicked my ass, and while I’ve healed a bit from it, it feels like I never fully finished the process. So I’m planning to run ST1 for about a year—the same length as my Ascendancy QTKS. Just to clarify, I had been thinking about using ST1 alongside QTKS for a while, but yesterday really solidified that decision. I’ve been on the fence about running other subs with QTKS; I’d consider it, then always end up not pulling the trigger.
Tomorrow will be end of first cycle and then I’ll have a 5 day rest.
Last couple of days have been interesting. I’ve been getting high and relaxing. It was only on Saturday when I got high but it was the best. Everything was relaxed, but a thought popped into my head. Would getting high have a positive impact with listening to subs?
Interesting.
I’ve gone back to one of my older workout plans. It feels so much better and natural. I’ve been told I look better. Huger. It’s so good. I feel better doing this.
Just bought a new monitor. Upgrading one of my older monitors. Planning to either sale or give away my old ones.
New monitor is pretty good. 2k 144hz 34in curved. I’m going to love it. It’s going to be pretty useful.
Note from yesterday - Bought Khan ST1 + Inner Gasoline ZPQ.
Honest to God, I’m going hard at the gym. Bought a new shaker; Helimix. This might be the best mixer I’ve ever had. It breaks down the pre-workout so fucking well.
I might switch to listening to QTKS once or twice a week. It feels like too much to treat it as a regular cycle. I’m even considering recreating it in a smaller, more refined version that aligns with what I actually want. I’ve made Excel breakdowns of what I’ll remove, why I’m removing it, and what I should add instead. Once I lock in the idea, I’ll go ahead and purchase it.
Holy shit; my old workout plan is kicking my ass. Forgot how intense it was.
I honestly love ZPQ, you can notice the difference so surprising easily. You do have to micro loop the fuck out of it tho.
About 30secs to 3mins is the sweet spot when starting out.
KHAN ST1 ZPQ IS FUCKIN AMAZING.
It’s breaking me down even more.
Hey bro
I have been following your journal and I’m also on emperor exceutive.
I hope you get the time to advise me on my post on emeper executive’s thread.
I have a question
Did you notice any noticeable mood changes after srtating emperor executive? Such as taking an antidepressant or smart drugs?
I haven’t experienced that but anger was a feeling I had when I missed deadlines, but now that I’ve used it longer, I’ve become more organised so I no longer miss deadlines or feel anger.
Thank you, you gave me a valueable response, maybe my brain chemistry drop few days after listening is partially atrributed to missing deadlines.
My body is shaping out really good. I’ve hit my target weight a while ago. I’m planning on cutting now.
2 more days before my rest days are over and I can hop onto The Beast Within again.