I wouldn’t worry about that, @SaintSovereign has made it very clear that you do.
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October 4, 2022
Second run of my full stack: PHENOMENAUT Optimized.
There’s a real power to it. But also I notice–quite surprisingly–an ease as well. That’s interesting.
Planning–as usual–to go out for my 6-mile walk tonight. That tends to facilitate smooth integration.
Feeling an interesting combination of peace and stimulation.
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Woke up this a.m. at 6:00 and planned to meditate with subs immediately.
Figured I’d do it and go back to sleep for a while afterwards. Possibly have some psychedelic dreams.
But that turned out not to be the right move for today.
Daughter was preparing to fly from one city to another. We talked as she walked in the airport and went to the gate.
By the time we were done, it was 6:45 am. I went to meditate again, but got an intuitive nudge that it wasn’t the right time. Waited for a bit. Feeling didn’t shift. So, went back to lay down. Wasn’t tired. Watched a bit of a movie. Felt tired and finally slept some more. Got up, weirdly, at 1 something pm.
The feeling had shifted. Time to meditate.
So, did that.
I figure that too many sleep-deprived sub sessions may not be so great. So maybe that’s what it was. Either way, the afternoon meditation sub session was good. And the afterglow seems to be great as well.
We’ll see.
Keep on walking.
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Hunger is one of the best spices.
Add it to any food and satisfaction immediately improves.
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Polyglot’s kicking in.
Just spent 90 minutes browsing through audiobooks in Cantonese and Mandarin. Mostly Mandarin.
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Processing heavily right now.
Realized that I’m reconciling right now.
Will tread carefully.
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Here is where Egotism starts to become a problem:
You find it difficult to separate 1) a beneficial principle from 2) your personal interpretation and application of that principle.
So, your friend, Mr. Snake, who is a bit of an egotist, tells you:
“It’s very important to eat nutritious foods but also really enjoyable healthy foods to help you to maintain a strong, healthy lifestyle.”
That’s a principle, and a good one.
But then he also says:
"And that’s why I’m giving you this. It works great! Make sure to finish the whole thing if you want to be healthy. Like me!”
And he puts 2 or 3 freshly killed mice in front of you for you to eat for lunch.
Oops. Great principle, but the interpretation of that principle? Really works much better if you are also a snake.
Separate the good advice that others give you from the precise behaviors and actions that they are taking. Learn yourself and get to know yourself in order to apply those principles in ways that are well-suited for you.
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Human beings, sentient beings, are about 1% matter (soma) and 99% psyche.
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I hereby dedicate the last three days to Polyglot.
It’s been awesome.
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Create a GoodNotes notebook page for each one of my modules.
On the page for a given module, fill in ideas, reflections, action-steps, plans, and anything else that seems useful related to that module.
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We often don’t recognize the integral role played by Imagination in connecting to reality.
We foolishly consider imagination to be in opposition to reality.
In fact, Imagination is the only way that we experience reality.
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Human beings are constantly trying to convince ourselves of things.
And, unfortunately, one of the most effective ways to convince yourself that something is true is to successfully convince someone else that it is true.
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MIND your default programming.
(In fact, the practice of mindfulness is probably mostly about this.)
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Been feeling a bit of block to doing things and working on things.
Possibly processing-related or recon-related.
In the meantime, I’ve continued to have a flow of early results and manifestations related to my programs. So, it doesn’t seem to be stonewalling.
Tonight, I felt a kind of internal dark-space mentally. I’ve noticed in the past that this sometimes precedes a shift. And that shift is happening now.
It’s feeling more natural to work on things now. Going to try working and see what happens.
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I was finding myself getting into the detached, avoidant mind space. Where you just distance yourself from external obligations and responsibilities. Until you’re reminded or forced to deal with them. Like the opposite of Victory’s Call.
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Sounds like recon, possibly caused by HoM, or any “achievement” sub you’re running right now. I went through the same thing a lot. I still haven’t found a good strategy to combat that.
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Agreed.
And I’m running a few of them.
Emperor
Emperor: The House of Medici
Carpe Diem Ascended
Productivity Unleashed
Victory’s Call
Machine: Action
Thing is, though; they’re intensifying and clarifying a cycle that I’ve gone through many times, even since before using subliminals.
In the past, I’d struggle with feeling overwhelmed and detached from responsibilities. There’d be a part of me trapped inside that was kind of yelling and banging against the walls, “Come on!! Let’s move!!”, but he wasn’t strong enough to drive the whole mind.
The emotions would intensify over time, until I’d reach a ‘desperation point’ where I suddenly started taking more action with a lot of focus. Until, at some point, the energy would run out.
That’s happened periodically for years.
This version, with the subs, actually feels better. It’s somehow intensifying the cycle but also making it more manageable. I think that the productivity modules are helping. There’s a greater sense of choice and agency. Things did not need to get as bad before I got the surge in willpower. And I suspect that as time goes on, that surge is going to become more and more something that I can access and choose by will.
I’m running a heavy stack.
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If I may ask ,
what do you find yourself doing when you are in this state ?
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I have some basic practices/routines that I do no matter what, so I still did those.
Hour of meditation
10000 steps
I watched some videos on YouTube. or a couple of TV programs. (Episode 1 of Andor, watched that yesterday. Atlanta. Etc.)
I cooked.
It varies. From the outside perspective, I might still appear to be having a normal day. I don’t stop doing everything. But there are just certain kinds of tasks that I avoid. I know what they are. You know what I mean?
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It’s will.
In that avoidant state, I continue to do activities; but tasks that require willpower are neglected.
That’s what it is.
Then eventually, I get angry and frustrated or desperate. I experience a surge of will. And the inertia is overcome for some period of time.
I feel like the subs and modules that I mentioned above are shining a light on this process within me. I like to hope that these features of mine are currently being worked on. I can believe that they are. After all, that’s the express focus of modules such as Carpe Diem Ascended, Victory’s Call, and Unrelenting Wealth Motivation and Energy.
Keep on moving.
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