Since it’s also about the soulmate, not just the user, I’d say “a way to manage their neediness & to cultivate a healthier form of attachment in them” would be more practical to implement.
It’s a great mindset for the user themself though.
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Definitely agree with u!!
I like the idea of heartsong as specifically focused on long term relationships.
IMHO heartsong getting into any monogamous or polyamorous stuff is irrelevant, as it’s an entirely separate skill to go entirely deep with someone for the long term… and life-long commitment is the same skill more or less whether you’re monogamous or polyamorous, love is still love, commitment is still commitment, honesty is still honesty.
Not just the type of relationship manifested but the ability to have that relationship once it is manifested.
My take on my idea of heartsong, inspired and elaborating on yours
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As saint said avoiding the “soul” part of soulmate as it means different things for each person.
A potential way around this in my opinion is taking the ego out of choosing a partner. I have and I assume others in the past have had ego reasons to date people or not date people. This could be as simple as worrying how being with someone will make you look to others.
How I see this working is a feature about being authentic about you’re own attraction to someone free from societal programing and being able to stand by it. We are constantly bombarded with ads and models of what the ideal man/women should look like. How many of us have really considered how much of that is true to ourselves.
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I didn’t realize the objectives of this title were so lofty. Here I was thinking run the title => get into the ideal long term relationship 
.
And MAYBE for other connections that aren’t meant to be LTRs…take them to their highest containable outcomes (like FWB). But I get if that makes the title too long or complex.
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Ultimately, this is very important as well… Just because you date somebody and want them to be your soulmate doesn’t mean that they will be your soulmate… I heard a good definition of secure attachment as simultaneously being willing to jump into a relationship fully with both feet, but… Also being able and willing to leave if it’s not what’s best for you
With the capacity to connect, comes the ability to discern who can meet you at that level and who can’t
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I observe that very often the key to achieving a thing in life is not obsessive focus on that thing.
It’s balanced, consistent engagement with the conditions that support and surround that thing.
The person who gets the best crops is not going to be the one who is always focused on admiring and measuring harvests. It’s going to be the one who loves sun, water, soil quality, and seed sourcing. And who loves exploring and being with those things. The amazing harvests will almost be a side-effect of that.
I think the same would be true of deeply connected relationships and partnerships. I think they will come not primarily from a goal-directed desire to ‘find the right partner’.
I actually think it will be about deepening a certain style of relating to your life experience and to the experiences of other people. It will, paradoxically, be strongly related to the way you are when you’re alone (or with other(s)).
The miracle’s in the details. So I won’t pretend to reduce it all to a formula.
But this is how it looks to me.
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man，you just nailed it there…those are the dream and pain of many people ，men or women。we are all eager for something deep and beautiful ….and sadly ，not many of us could live up to those preconceived notion that in our mind……
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That is the question how to univerlize such a particular concept of such an intensely special relationship, still making it unique and different from all other parthner manifestation scripting you have written in any other sub.
Also to mention again as its fundamental and essential healing to have a proper healthy high sense of self worth, deservingness of love, of a soulmate, of a good life, all of these are connected. Healing and paradigm shift from life is suffering, survival, neutrality… Etc (anything not congruent to having such an intense loving and rewarding relationship) into life is beautiful, abundant, enjoyable, loving… Etc
Mutual growth scripting and resonance in growth so you can use divine diamond together to reach very high samadhi states through intimacy.
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We have zillion lives and could arrive on any of the zillion planets in this universe. The probability is 0.00000…1%
The “thing” with “the one” is not logic - before being a belief or not.
I agree too!! There are already more than enough titles useful for hookups and sleeping around, even harem building.
My thoughts on this Heartsong discussion, Im not firing shots at anyone for what they believe or not, simply sharing my perspective, feel free to disagree.
Part of this soulmate thing I believe in many cases backfires, is the tendency of people to over idealize what that soulmate is going to look and behave and how perfect the relationship will be, sometimes even implying that the relationship wont need any work, its going to be magical all around.
To be fair, not everyone who believes in soulmates has this frame, but enough do to a degree.
Also that is not exclusive of the soulmates group, we all do it to a degree, the idealization. Sometimes is a cope, a trauma response, sometimes social programming, conditioning.
We are looking for an outside fix for an inside problem.
I dont see it as finding “the one” or that “someone special”, but as being healthy and satisfied enough on your own, without the need for somebody to complete you or to make things ideal/perfect. This of course without falling into the deception that “I need to heal completely before being deserving of love”.
Without trying to impose such a insurmountable responsibility on another person to “make you happy” or us thinking that is our responsibility to make our SO happy.
I see it as being clean enough of rigid preconceptions to be able to really percieve other people around us for what they really are and being able to recognize true connection, affinity and deep resonance with someone else.
You complement and bring the best out of each other, instead of codependency.
Finally having the will and the tools, alongside the commitment from both parts to do the work, so that the relationship transfoms and grows into the shared vision both parties agreed upon. A great relationship is not one that lacks problems, but one in which both parties have healthy boundaries, can communicate openly and have the will to find a workable solution that aligns with that shared vision.
Adding some scripting from Divine Diamond as a cherry on top.
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Why do you think anything of that nature has to follow human mind logic? Left hemisphere of the brain often doesn’t understand or can conceptualize what intuitive spiritual knowing can
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Don’t build a room with only one chair and then grieve that no one sits with you.
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Absolutely.
Personally I would prefer that neither the term nor the concept is in the update at all, it’s too loaded and many of us think the concept itself is just nonsense.
I’d like the remake to simply focus on finding and attracting a partner(s) that is deeply compatible on an emotional, spiritual, mental, social and physical level, with scripting to help explore those and find meaning in them, without pushing any particular idea of what that means (spiritually, “learning lessons” or otherwise) or how it expresses (e.g. fun, adventurous etc). And nothing limiting this to “one” or a “final” partner.
This definitely has a place to help better understand what it is we are truly looking for in a partner without the social/spiritual/etc concepts pushed on us. But the primary focus should still be on finding those partners.
I fully agree with this.
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I fully agree with this. I don’t think ‘soulmate’ should be in there, it’s just loaded with too much beyond the practical aspects.
I like that you say "nothing limiting this to ‘one’ or a ‘final’ partner. You see, I think we run into many people in our lives where our highest expression of connection is somewhere in between strictly platonic and a long-term romantic partner. Why not have the scripting encourage the full development of those connections, too?
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What is a HeartSong…
and what would it look like to learn how to sing it, hear it, align with it, and attune to it… not just the melody of your own HeartSong, but also to hear and harmonize with the HeartSong of others?
1: Your Own Song
To learn your own heartsong is to learn your own melody, all the highs, lows, stutters and staccatos that your own unique song has to offer.
2: The Song Of Others
You must learn, not only to recognize and appreciate the song of others as something for you to harmonize with, but also something as their own individual melody to appreciate, something that you learned to enjoy, even if you’re not singing along with them, something that sounds so appealing to your ear that rather than force a song to try and harmonize it, you just start singing your own melody, naturally creating a beautiful duet, sometimes for a minute a month a year, or sometimes a lifetime.
As your family grows, your melody, turns into a harmony, and your harmony turns into symphony, not just with your children, but with your friends, family, grandparents, neighbors, you become conductor, musician, listener, and composer, all at once
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I think everyone needs to stop worrying about ideologies and labels and the such. If people could come to a consensus in regards to spirituality, a large part of the world’s problems would end overnight. But that is not going to happen any time soon, and it definitely isn’t going to happen on this thread.
And so, what will help us the most is if people focus on exactly what I asked @Joa23 (who did a superb job answering, among others) – since that’s what’s really needed here:
Focus on the actual experience rather than the underlying ideology, because I assure you, any viewpoint that isn’t universalized, Ethics is going to tear apart anyway – with my complete consent.
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I have also considered this. Dropping the whole “soulmate” angle entirely. However, this brings two questions, one that was brought up by @Jouissance: At that point, what is the differences between the new Heartsong and Primal Romance?
The second is “what should Heartsong become, then?” But since that’s the overarching theme of this thread, I believe what I just posted above would provide the information needed to achieve this.
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The early version of Heartsong that I wrote (it is not concrete, I am more than willing to toss it) actually follows this concept, hence once of the reasons I mentioned PEACE having the key to a successful version of Heartsong.
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There’s a real shadow-potential to this area, I think. Because people are often willing to claim (or believe) that someone is a soulmate in exchange for quieting our fears of loneliness and abandonment. To ‘lock’ the person down. To have a contractual obligation that ‘you can’t leave me if I don’t want you to’. And when it comes to the volatile, powerful forces of sex and emotional connection, the chances are significant for people to lose perspective.
Particularly around peak developmental seasons of desire, lust, attraction, loneliness, and so on. When that first drop of rain (i.e., loving or affectionate attention) falls on parched desert sands, it’s so tempting to grab onto it. As salvation.
I think that another great part of this program would be the capacity to let go when that is what is best. (Without the egocentrically-driven need to vilify or demean the other person or oneself.)
The two big ingredients for me are:
-
Being true to yourself
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Being GENUINELY interested in and open to someone(s) else.
(Not just the usual ‘because they’re giving me something I need right now’ thing. That’s not deep, genuine interest. It’s personal gratification. Nothing wrong with personal gratification, but we should recognize it accurately for what it is.)
Both of those simple ingredients are mountains worthy of decades-long workshops.
These remind me in a way of Khan Black and PEACE.
Because they include sex and sexual energy, but they also transcend narrowly sexual agenda.
I think the best way to find a ‘soul mate’ (or whatever term people choose) is to become someone who can BE a soul mate.
You respect your appetites, but you don’t worship them.
That part also has a bit of HERO/HERO Origins in it. But in a less monk-mode-y way than some might approach it.
I’ve always had this metaphor in my mind about being a human.
Moving through the world as a human is like walking through a room with magnetic walls while wearing a suit of armor.
Passions. Conditions. Mental conditioning. Traumas and desires. Social trends and forces.
They’re always pushing us this way and pulling us that way. To walk through that room, you’d need to build up real core strength. But if your core strength grew enough, you might get to the point where you could easily move through those forces without feeling compelled, oppressed, or controlled.
Then you could walk with ease and even grace, despite the internal and external forces acting around you.
This feels to me like what would help with this partnership and connection journey.
But it’s also true that one who attains this has probably also transcended the agenda of just ‘finding partnership’.
Anyway, those are also part of it, I think.
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I wanted to answer the question, so I read Primal Romance description… Lets just say I had a good laugh and have no idea how to answer this.
I do feel theres something unique growing from all the ideas shared here.
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