Yesterday I was in the train going home after this encounter with this beautiful women. I had to change the train one last time until I was home. Next to me was a girl with a beer in her hand, a cigarette in her mouth and a suitcase. I found her unattractive because she was drunk but it seems like she could easily drink until the next day. When the doors open up, we step out and I gave her fire for her cigarette, she was very surprised and said thank you. I was walking away, still enjoying the encounter had a couple of hours ago. I rolled a cigarette and waited before for the train, the girl appeared next to me, seems like we go in the same direction again. She was walking up and down before the train and then turned to me and said thank you again. I startet to talk with her and she asked if I want to sit with her in the train.
I don’t spend time with drunk people, but since 10 days I do unusual things (must be limit Destroyer, did 2 loops this circle) we talked and she said she only need to smoke a joint and then she’s happy. I told her she can have some because I go home and she can enjoy her evening. She invited me to drink with her and I refused, told her I don’t drink Alkohol. She told me a Coca cola is also OK. I accepted because I give her something and now I receive something - I take that.
I could nearly vomit just standing next to her but I thought - learn to recive.
We stopped on the only bar I avoided for 1 1/2 years in the little city we both live in.
I wanted to go home right on the spot but then I told myself : wait, this is perfect, expirience what you don’t want, try to fuck her but say no word, wait until she is too drunk then go in and lure her home, expirience how it is what other people (zombies) do so that you know how worthy it is what you normally do.
So I never intend to fuck her but I somehow needed to know how this shit feels.
The next 2 hours I was sitting next to her and offered her joints. I felt so ugly, sneaky, unnatural, false and stupid the whole time I was there, luckily she worked there and had so many other people to talk to.
After 2 hours I stood up, couldn’t do it anymore, I said a good bye and walked home.
Then the good stuff startet pouring in.
Never in my life I decive a women because of sex, from now on I let them instandly know what I am about and what I want, my directness is precious and honorable, it’s ok to tell what I want.
That was a good experience too, I learned aaaaaalllloooooooottttttt
