So I have been thinking about the post I made yesterday on how Daredevil feels so subtle and natural to me and that’s because I have been chasing the feeling of not giving a fuck since I became that version of me and lost it a few years back. I’m not going into the story behind all that but from what I can remember results wise during that phase.
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I was working out everyday
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I was socializing with just about everyone
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I was flirting with a lot of women haha and just didn’t care about results. I did respect boundaries however
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Didn’t care what anyone thought of me or my actions.
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Everything was just fun
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I was a lot more disciplined and driven than usual and still chased my goals.
Now I will say that I think part of the reason why I was afraid of being that person again because there was a lot of alcohol in my life during that point and that led down a very bad path (pre subclub days btw) and I was genuinely afraid of losing control again even though mindset and emotions wise I was at my happiest. Well last night and this morning I basically came to the conclusion that:
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At the end of the day SubClub wouldn’t put scripting into any titles that would turn me back into a loose cannon or whatever, and plus ultimately if I were to walk that path again it would be out of my own immaturity and volition. Basically I’m having more confidence in myself. Which is scripting SubClub always puts in haha. So I’m good there.
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There is a 6 year gap between that point and now and I’m just not that dude anymore anyways. I’m not that person that closes out the bar 3-5 times a week anymore. At most I drink a few times a month and I just practice moderation. So I’m good there too.
I basically have nothing to worry about and I’m becoming more accepting of that fact that I will be fine and honestly probably a lot better as time goes on, since I no longer have that fear.
I believe I might have found the title that is honestly going to change me for the better and also bring out my true self. It’s nice no longer having this fear of being able to “unleash the beast” and still be able to control my actions.
As far as I can tell Daredevil is a lot more than a social sub haha even more than I was expecting