Crazy I had a dream about this.
My nightmare is turning into my father. Like he is the most meek, effeminate man I know.
Like I hate how weak he is, how he cares so much about opinion of others, how hyper logical he is. How he forces and shoved down his false belief on people, his quietness. How he has zero ambition. And how he fucking wears masks inside the car and just follows the herd.
Like he’s the worst definition of masculinity possible.
I hold such resentment over my dad being weak it pisses me off to no ends if I had an actual strong masculine presence in my life.
I had to learn that shit on my own and I lost so many opportunities, could’ve been potentially a multi millionaire by now if I had learnt the traits of stoicism, women and spirituality.
I’m not a victim by any means. But I missed out on so much things in my childhood, things that my dad could’ve taught me.
What girls to go for, etc.