It really varies for everyone, based on your unique make up. For me it was pretty terrible emotionally. But with the benefit of time and perspective I realize I was holding on to terrible things.
This is my second time through. In life now - I dance, literally and figuratively. I get such pleasure from just singing (terribly) and I can āfeelā music in a way that I just couldnāt before.
My life now is filled with So. Much. Joy.
On the flip side I see how Iāve denied myself opportunities to be loved and - in loving someone I could never fully give of myself, but I didnāt know that. Had no idea.
There were so many memories buried deep, deep down. Hidden away even from myself.
For instance, when I was about 4 or 5 Iād get an erection at bath time when the babysitter bathed me. After this happenedā¦I donāt know⦠2 or 3 times, the babysitter told my mom. Who in turn was throughly embarrassed. I could feel her embarrassment. See.It
After a thorough scolding, because this never happened when mom bathed me, which she pointed out and told me not to do it again. Right. How could I not feel the wind on my skin, the light that made my babysitter just - radiate. She smelled different, laughed different, but I didnāt know how to share that with my mother soā¦pretty sure I promised her it wouldnāt happen again.
And proceeded to fail miserably. After another couple of instances of this, my mom in her embarrassment beat me every bath time until it stopped.
Youād think something like that would stay top of mind. But it was buried with a whole lot of other things. So, it you donāt have challenges like this, your journey may be incredibly smooth. Just know, once you deal with whatever comes up - something absolutely beautiful takes itās place.
Needless to say, my overall level of attraction has gone up. Iām also more pleasant to be around. I absolutely love me. The man I am now with all the ugly spots. And the man I now aspire to be and with a bit of work - am becoming.
Donāt shy away from the heavy stuff. Take breaks if you must, but grab the shovel. Do the work, go through the process. It is so, so worth it.