F*ck Genesis is good, I see what it’s doing now.
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I’m angered and saddened by this line. Because it’s true for me. I’ve carried around a lot of self-induced pain simply because…exactly what you said. “It’s THEIR fault!!” And consistently owning that is very disorienting. It goes against everything I’ve lived by. Aka it doesn’t enable the “little boy” mindset I’ve used all my life.
I thank God these healing tools are here at SC. I felt very disoriented yesterday, but feel more stable today. I’m still feeling off, but it’s less than half it was yesterday. I’m feeling more empowered looking over my plans for today.
And growth of any type can be disorienting. It’s the wisdom of knowing how to direct those unfamiliar processes which actually allow and enable growth. That’s what makes SC shine.
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@FireDragon I agree with the importance of staying with Genesis, hopefully, long term because is lifting up everything in your daily life. Also, I’m feeling its work (both deep & light) behind the scenes in my washout.
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I hear you.
I’m feeling a bit disoriented at the moment myself.
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I noticed that myself Wednesday when working with a coworker. He consistently tried to put on his “all work, no play” face, and I kept cracking up at him. I’ve been a little ashamed at my smile, but I was beaming most of the day. I really enjoy it.
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Why are you writing about me? 
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That’s what I was going to say 
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Do you mean processes as in emotional regulation? I was always the ‘sensitive’ and worrier type child and my family would accept it like I was born that way. That’s what frustrates me now. Maybe I blame them for ‘making me’ this way. So your probably right in what your saying actually.
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I could substitute “growth” for regulation. That’s been true for me.
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By your processes I mean the totality of your mind-body and your consciousness.
The things that you do with your thoughts, sensations, perceptions, actions, and feelings, and beyond.
We have the option to leave them on autopilot, in which case we’ll generally survive at least long enough to reproduce, and we’ll get the predictable series of gripes, crises, anticipations, excitements, and disappointments. All of which seem to be coming to us ‘from the outside’ and which seem to be ‘being done to us’.
We also have the option to embrace ineptitude and incompetence (also known as The Path of Learning). On that path, we take responsibility for having some limited influence over how we use our minds and how we relate to our feelings. Once we start doing that, done are the days in which we could 100% blame anyone or anything else for what we are experiencing. We have to own our contribution to what we are experiencing.
It’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.
I didn’t invent grass, but I do have to mow this lawn.
I didn’t invent garbage, but I do need to clean up where I live.
Why? Because I want a beautiful life.
Life is not fair. But that goes both ways. You don’t deserve any of the random bad things that happened to you, but you also don’t deserve any of the 10 billion random great things that have happened to you.
So we let nature be what it is, we let the past be what it is, and then we get involved. As we’re getting involved, we f**k up more. But we get better over time.
While I’m busy complaining about how my family messed me up, I am simultaneously unintentionally messing up other people. And I don’t even notice it, because I’m so busy looking at what was done to me.
And it turns out that’s the same thing other people were usually doing when they were hurting me.
There’s not some easy nice solution, but working on taking more responsibility with a larger, more generous spirit probably helps more than it hurts.
Anyway.
Here we are.
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Possibly! 
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turning on a bit more.
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Yes he is great at it. 
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I’ve added Genesis to CFW maybe 2 weeks back, and I’m starting to actually see where I’ve been stuck.
Tonight I was watching a movie about other’s lives and other’s dreams when a thought came to mind.
I’ve put my life on hold. I’ve been waiting on some fantastical (painless) relief from outside myself. This has kept me believing I’m powerless.
Genesis is helping me see I have other choices.
I have never had this thinking before. I’ve read other’s success stories here countless times, but it’s always someone else’s truth and reality, never mine.
Genesis is steadily changing my thinking, even challenging me to do what I really can do for myself.
Wow!
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What movie was it?
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I am still trying to figure how stacking this can be beneficial. Anyone running Genesis with a Romance sub like Wanted or PS?
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It was Christmas romance film on YT called My Christmas Inn. Nothing outstanding really.
It was while watching it I accepted the truths that have nudging my awareness that I’ve been holding out for a fantasy.
Truly, it could have been any movie.
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Something like this happened to me on my first cycle of LBfH. I just happen to read a very generic book about human feelings in psychology. It was so generic and basic that I don’t even remember the title of it anymore. But reading it made a lot of negativity inside come to light and made me face it. It helped me accept a lot of my thoughts, feelings and desires which until that point I would have just pretended that never exist in me.
I know it is very off topic. But your experience in a way reminded me of that which is why I thought I would share mine.
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What’s worse is that’s giving your power away…
It’s basically like saying to your self “I’ve no power, the others do”
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