I already know what it was hatching at now and it is something very deep, something I wouldn’t just let go and wave goodbye to.
Somethings that are beyond belief and programming for me.
@SaintSovereign why did it take much such deep seeking to make sense of my “recon” would it maybe be possible for some scripting to make you brilliantly and clearly aware of what you are reconning at and then allow you to decide whether you want to actually reform that or just let the recon “go”?
I mean if you can take control over your recon process consciously in a way. And make you vividly aware of the recon so you can resolve it more consciously… if you actually want to make changes in that area.
Just an idea that came to me … perhaps it can be useful
Certain changes just aren’t made over breakfast you know? And I feel I may want to let it “be” for awhile in the background before consciously working on that in any way.
I’m actually a little run down by having to face this now suddenly
If I make these mental changes in myself it will lead to some insane lifestyles changes something I don’t want to hurry and burry myself into
Small part of all this I have a huge hesitancy to give my life over to any kind of employment in this world only a very minor class of businesses are actually serving my ideal of the world.
So employment wise I will probably never be fully driven and fulfilled serving most jobs.
On the other hand I need work experience and to build capital.
Sales is for example interesting but I refuse to sell garbage. I’m not interested in learning how to sell “anything” to “anyone” purely for wealth gain because I have grown beyond acts of silliness like that. My nature is philanthropic, the product or service would need to be valuable to humanity and society as a whole and fairly valued. I don’t believe in overvaluing your work and thinking you can cheat the laws that govern life itself.
Most of the world is a scam and fraud on many levels.
This entire mental process of my outlook towards all this is probably worth an essay.
But here is a good example of what a deep recon process can look like… reprogramming your mind also means to separate yourself from the programming most of humanity is functioning on. And in a way the world needs free and novel thinkers so we can re-route our destiny.
It’s also challenging but once you set foot in this journey you are starting real life, not the accepted life of the status quo
I’m sure others go through similar thought patterns in there own ways when they consider the strange ways of this world and start to draw their own conclusions a little bit.
Anyway I’m gonna do some mental work to peel through this then stretch and cleanse but yeah don’t underestimate deep changes and also realise how powerful these programs are, if you are not ready for life changes don’t think you can do everything on the fast lane
Don’t be speeding because you’ll get your tickets along the way 
I also had a dream in a dream yesterday suite some inception stuff … dreams in dreams that certainly represents some deep layers of the subconscious.
Don’t bother with any spelling mistakes my brain is intense right now
I only did 5 minutes btw
Probably better to start with the bare minimum if you know you have a lot to work through in these areas
I basically can’t find any happiness in employing myself towards a cause that is not working towards the greater good of all.
My happiness lies in self-employment so I can serve my own vision.
Bridging this gab now starting from scratch wealth wise to support all this… knowing that the time is not ripe for that project. What I want is to start creating vehicles of wealth that can build my capital and develop the skills I will need in the future to for my real project.
This is my Souls Mission in a way, I can feel it deep in my Soul always drawing myself toward it , without the need of much thought it is a knowing and a feeling at the same time, intuitively making me aware of what direction to go, what side quests and tasks to do along my way of life,… it all culminates together without your conscious direction because the universe and it’s omniscient nature itself is with you to make it happen.
Anyone who has been on the spiritual path knows what I’m talking about. Because the moment you start your search answering the question “why the heck am I here” will begin to see it’s true purpose unravel. For some this unraveling process begins early after birth, for others there may not be a purpose and they can envision one along there discovery of life.
This speaks to reincarnation and setting a certain purpose mission and task for yourself that expands over multiple lifetimes and incarnations. Or simply something you have started from before your birth in this world, thus it may be that from the very beginning of your life here you have been feeling a hunch and nudge where to go and what to do without rationale behind it, just following that push in the back from the universe and the subtle voice of your inner being.
Yeah this is a long post I can speak passionately about what I know is true and must be know to be fair to everyone on this amazing world.
You will suffer until you have answered the questions you had from a young age and most of the world slowly forgets as unimportant until they all eventually lose there way or think they have found “it”
Don’t take this as a reality but those who know know and those who don’t eventually will know this is beyond dogma 
All ties in well with this purpose scripting that is flanking me lol
People should know once you open the doors to a spiritual life you can’t just close them it’s like being born in the world the only escape is your death and with the spiritual the only liberation is your final enlightenment. You can keep going forever but you must complete the
ourobouros at the end of time 
Ignore the jargon
You will see it in every hollywood movie though surely it can’t be important
Obviously not being serious 