Can you elaborate on this perspective on how they perceive men?
Im curious what patterns and commonalities in their dating have you found in girls that had good father figures?
And what patterns and commonalities in their dating have you found in girls that had bad, absent father figures?
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Well, both types have expectations how guy will act on date.
What I written is just a variation, the reality is much more complex than this and cannot be a “rule”.
Girls with “good” fathers will expect certain attitude. For example, if father was attentive and invested enough time to daughter, girls will expect that guy will do the same, its “normal” for her. Doing counterwise can break the rapport or generate some interesting. It depends.
But the girl with “absent” father will also expect that guy will be more attentive & invest time but sometimes doing exactly as she wants breaks attraction from her side.
Unclosed mental loops make her seek a guy who will give what she wants AND will not give her what she wants at the same time.
Its not a paradox for her subconscious. “Unfinished business” makes her seek what she wants and expect she will not receive it.
“Hot & Cold” technique exploits this bug. Of course, its more neurosis exploitation but its still called a seduction.
As I said the reality is more complex than this. But as general rule: unfulfilled needs create paradoxes: I want it but I will never get it. If I got it- its not what I want.
We all know situation then just pushing girl away makes her more attracted, right?
One more thing. “Good & Bad” father is very relative.
For example, girl says: my father loved me more than my mother. Its obviously a problem (usually called systemic issue) and she feels good about being superior to mother AND she also feels bad and can seek guys who will fulfill her needs, related to mother.
What I want to say: there are numerous different variations of what can be. Girls can seek guys who will be a “mother” for them, guys can seeks a girls who will be a “father” for them.
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Perfectly said and overall insightful comment, patterns i have also noticed.
Once they get what they thought they wanted they lose the attraction for it then back to craving toxic patterns that feed those unconscious unclosed loops as u said. Some cant even properly receive affection as if it doesnt pass or land through the fog of their blockages
Can you elaborate more on this and how does this happen? It does strike me as strange when some girls are seemingly competing with their mother for a man attention.
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Its called Electra complex, girl & father dynamics. Just google or chatgpt for more info. Overall theme is “I’m better woman for my father than my mother”. They are quite competitive with other women.
Its a problem, because of this:
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Mother is excluded in this dynamic, therefore girl has her feminine energies compromised. Somehow it makes girls very understandable for a guys. Girls with father issues, yeah? Female bloggers that play computer games on stream (not all, some are very talented actresses) but I think you got the idea.
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“No man is awesome as my father!”. Those girls usually act very arrogantly towards other men because they say (unconsciously) “other men are not so great as my father”. So if you somehow managed to get into her “father image” she will adore you, do everything for you… until you exit “father imagine”.
I saw this dynamic numerous times. Usually, its about father’s former love affairs that now projected on daughter. Unconsciously.
Guys has Oedipal complex version: “I’m better man for my mother than my father”. If father of this guy was alcoholic or just left the family and only mother and son now in the family: the trap is closed.
Those guys have a great problem to start relationship with women because they say to themselves (unconsciously): “I can’t leave my mother! I don’t want to be traitor as my father”. In the battle between Primal Seduction and this dynamic you can easily guess who will win.
Male energies are being compromised: fear to displease women (actually the “mother”), fear of other men, perception of own maleness inferiority (which is, usually, mother’s perception of her husband) and etc.
The funny thing that Electra girl and Oedipal guy can have GREAT relationship until dynamic is still active because: guy will BE a perfect “father” for a girl (he knows how to please his mother) and girl will BE a perfect “mother” for a guy (she knows how to please her father).
One word what describes the problem here: its all unconscious. People engaged in those dynamics don’t have a clue that they are involved.
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Very interesting, does Oedipal guy look for motherly qualities in a girl that reminds him of his mother or does he look for a girl that he can fit the father role for?
How do they heal these unconscious dynamics and if they do heal it, does it break their relationship?
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It depends on person. Some have tendency for one or another way. And its not hard fixed: its dynamic.
Good question: sometimes relationship breaks. It depends if persons involved are interested in healing, therapy
Usually, one person just leaves with a words: “you’re no longer a person I loved” (i.e. “you no longer act as my perfect parent”).
And once again: its dynamical, there are “no fixed & forever” positions. Each case is unique.
But overall theme is as described before.
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A guy i know was married 12years several kids, it seemed like everything was fine no big red flags until he realized shes been plotting with lesbian colleagues to divorce him and financially take advantage of the situation through legal means and cause lots of problems for the kids.
He didnt think anything like this would happen and didnt see any red flags
But he did mention her father was abusive and not in her life, i would guess its the main factor behind the psychological explosion.
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Almost certainly true. “Bad” father issues… we can guess that she not fully trust men (as a hypothesis) so she could be more receptive to that colleague than her own feelings.
Yeah, its pity.
Maybe you didn’t see this before, @Akephalos 
Please stop posting negative example of women’s behavior.
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Didn’t see but also not criticising just analysing commonalities in patterns of behaviour due to my interest in psychology especially in dating
You wouldn’t feel that way if a girl on here would talk about men like you do about women. You wouldn’t like it. Other guys wouldn’t like it. Nobody would. She can also say she is only analyzing but at the end of the day, she is also making others feel unwelcomed, judged or dehumanized if she speaks negatively about or makes negative generalized assumptions about the opposite majority. People can feel it. Whenever you talk about others as a statistic, people that belong into that group feel dehumanized. Because individuals aren’t statistics. You don’t want to come here and listen to someone talk about how oppressive men are just as a girl doesn’t want to come here and read about how girls are too promiscuous nowadays. Subclub is for everyone. I think they want everyone to feel welcomed. Or at least not negatively judged as part of their “statistical majority” which most of the time isn’t even backed up with real numbers but rather just by personal experience that is largely compromised by preexisting internal beliefs and confirmation bias.
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How is EmpD in regard to managing stress?