@Niles @praisetheurdtree just a thought continuing our convo.
Iām currently sitting at a bar. My friend got caught up at work so I sit and wait. It really doesnāt bother me, itās some nice quiet time, an exercise in just enjoying my drink, not touching my phone. Maybe posting this is just cheating on the exercise but I had a good moment of awareness.
The social scripting for me is hard like a double edged blade, partially because I am super social, and partially because Iām way too analytical/self-judging/status-anxious in social environments like this.
It probably starts with a bit of fear⦠Can I REALLY just go up and talk to people like a super charismatic person? The
I do feel socially confident enough to walk up to anyone i find interesting, but those groups āhappenā to be the groups full of girls.
So then I donāt walk up and talk to those groups.
Then my brain sees me NOT talk to the groups on my mind and thinks Iām extra afraid - but Iām not talking to them because Iām in a relationship and donāt need to seduce - my brain doesnāt know that though so it gives me pain/fear/anxiety/shame signals.
Then I canāt overcome those signals by āproving them wrongā so I just sit in them, logically understanding how stupid they are, but emotionally entangled in the thoughts anyways.
Itās a unique type of recon I feel on social scripting: the social scripting wants to express itself, I suppress the scripting, then Iām blocking results and feel the weight of not taking action, especially because subconsciously I want to take the action