So, here’s the thing… I’ve been listening to Seductress, Ascension for Women & Limitless Executive.
When I was listening to anything other than Ascension, I felt happy, motivated, sometimes even turned on (Seductress, thank you lol) or at worst anxious to get things done (limitless exec) but only anxiety I felt I could manage with finishing the task. However, I would all of a sudden feel incredibly depressed out of nowhere, like I wasn’t good enough, like I wasn’t going anywhere and why was I even trying.
This happened over and over again, and sure enough, every time, I realized it was when Ascension came on. I pushed through thinking that this had to be reconciliation, but after it just continued any time I was awake (I didn’t feel this if I had it on during the night) I realized I wouldn’t be able to use this as part of my stack. Once I read that another woman had switched to Stark (Pepper Potts 
) as suggested to them, I did the same and the depression subsided almost immediately.
Now, of course, after reading your journal, I know our experiences and past are not the same, but since I saw that Ascension was part of your stack, I thought I’d share my own experience with it so that hopefully it can shed some light. I’m not sure if you moved on from it or not yet, but maybe with all the other programs re self reflection & breaking down etc, it may have been part of it. Anyway, just some crumbs of insight perhaps.
So much love 
