Lisa Journal Ascention & Regeneration

Journals - Major Programs
#36

I think so.
When I was 14 a guy that was Korean wanted to go out with me, my father and brothers disapproved and a year later at 15 he was still trying and they agreed any 15 year old guy who chased me for a year was probably ok.
I remember telling them I didn’t ask for or need their approval for anything…and that relationship ended my senior year when I left for college, and he still called me!
Truth is, I never needed any approval.
Not my parents, my siblings, not even the law. I was a certified badass
I was unbreakable

and at almost 50…for the first time…

I feel broken

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#37

When I was growing up, I absolutely hated when my family used to try to set me up with guys. None of them were ever my type. It sounds like your ex husband saw an opportunity after the death of your parents to take advantage of you. People are really vulnerable after the death of a loved one, and there are scammers who actively look for these people. The things that he told people about you have nothing to do with you. These are just typical things that uncreative cheating men tell gullible women to try to get sexual favors from them. I am sure that you are a beautiful, intelligent, strong, capable, great quality lady and that you will rise up from this to be even better than before.

#38

I apologize I haven’t read your entire journal. Given your emotional state have you considered therapy?

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#40

I’m talking about the things that her ex husband told people about her. I’m not sure what you’re referring to.

#41

Dear Lisa, I wish I had the words to bring you comfort. Sometimes things just happen that seem to have no rhyme or reason. I can’t even begin to imagine the emotions you might be going through. My heart goes out to you and know that we’re all here for you.

Healing can be complex so I recommend taking it slow. As others have stated, perhaps you can come back to the healing subs when you feel more grounded or ready? I suggest a sub that can help with restoring confidence and self esteem, something that’s been deep within you all this while. Perhaps it’s merely a call to bring it all to the surface to help you navigate through these times. Ascension for Women might be an option or any other sub along the same premise.

Talk therapy might also prove helpful? Personally, I did find a therapist that was of a spiritual background to help me through a few rough weeks. But with time, I felt confident enough to brave the world on my own. Few other things that have helped me are mediation, strolling around nature, long bubble baths, instrumental music (I enjoy Shamanic, Buddhist, Celtic and Hindu mantras/music) and at times, connecting with a friend/family or two that can really just listen without offering any advice because sometimes, all we need is a listener and not active advice. Someone that we can just “be” around.

Few other modalities that you may resonate with are Reiki healing (I haven’t tried it out but intend to when I find a practitioner I connect with), Quantum Healing Hypnosis and Accupuncture (as someone above mentioned) besides the traditional CBT/Talk Therapy.

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#42

Been in therapy since after my younger sister died, then my brothers, so since I was 13…and still am

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#43

Thanks for your kind words!

I have practiced many spiritual cultures and still do aside from my own.
Reiki is an incredible source for healing, but I’m just not feeling. I think I’m just still so angry atm, it’s hard to feel anything except the pain my kids are feeling also. I try my best to support them but they seem to do better sharing with each other than me.
I am lucky that I do have friends who are giving me support and help.

I think I may stick with Ascension for women only for a week and see if it helps before moving on to anything else.

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#44

I guess that’s who you are at your core. It’s good that you remember your past triumphs to remind yourself what you’re really made of, without the baggage of other people.

You have strength in you, you just need to focus on that again. Stay strong.

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#45

@Lisa

I’m reading your journal and it seems Regeneration is working. When I was on it, it seems to bring up a lot of my limitations and bad memories. After a total of 6 months, I felt fatigued with Regeneration, so I stopped it, and started with Dragon Reborn.

Overall, I realize you might not feel good, but I’d encourage you to notice the results of these upheavals (such as feeling more relaxed overall), and perhaps take a few more rest days.

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#46

It’s brought my sight back for sure… (not my eyesight)
Yet it is so dragging me down, but I also have issues I’ve bottled up for years also I suppose.

#47

Really… I do sympathize from experience.

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#48

I admire you for sticking to Regeneration even though it’s kicking the shit out of you amidst all of that challenging circumstances. I would consider adding Sanguine anyway since it could aid you a lot in dealing with that knave of your husband and managing everything that Regeneration is bringing to the surface.

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#49

For your consideration.

#50

I think Lisa feels that way because of her circumstances and Regeneration may make it even harder since it’s oriented to all the shit in our minds, that’s why I would go back to your recommendation - Sanguine.

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#51

ok
I will switch

#52

Give it some time since regaining the balance may take some time although I think it should kick in pretty fast. Please, report on your experiences while on Sanguine. Thank you.

I’ve run it only once for a couple of days but I was in the right balance already, I just wanted to check what that kitten could do for me. It made me feel much more solid but that was not a priority of mine at that time.

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#53

I’m going to encourage you to read about Dragon Reborn. Perhaps in about 45 days or so, you might want to think about switching from Regeneration to DR.

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#54

Please, try Alternate Nostril Breathing and Isha Kriya meditation. I’m sure it would help you a lot @Lisa

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#55

So, here’s the thing… I’ve been listening to Seductress, Ascension for Women & Limitless Executive.

When I was listening to anything other than Ascension, I felt happy, motivated, sometimes even turned on (Seductress, thank you lol) or at worst anxious to get things done (limitless exec) but only anxiety I felt I could manage with finishing the task. However, I would all of a sudden feel incredibly depressed out of nowhere, like I wasn’t good enough, like I wasn’t going anywhere and why was I even trying.

This happened over and over again, and sure enough, every time, I realized it was when Ascension came on. I pushed through thinking that this had to be reconciliation, but after it just continued any time I was awake (I didn’t feel this if I had it on during the night) I realized I wouldn’t be able to use this as part of my stack. Once I read that another woman had switched to Stark (Pepper Potts :wink: ) as suggested to them, I did the same and the depression subsided almost immediately.

Now, of course, after reading your journal, I know our experiences and past are not the same, but since I saw that Ascension was part of your stack, I thought I’d share my own experience with it so that hopefully it can shed some light. I’m not sure if you moved on from it or not yet, but maybe with all the other programs re self reflection & breaking down etc, it may have been part of it. Anyway, just some crumbs of insight perhaps.

So much love :heart:

#56

Thanks for posting this! Other ways that could help with reconciliation are more sleep (especially dreaming sleep), more rest days, and fewer loops.

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