It makes you wonder if COVID has something to do with it?
There is a book titled “Virolution” that is about a decade long study on “viral symbiosis” which is about viruses being behind major evolutionary changes, especially in humans. The study suggests this is how we gained speech and reasoning.
Just got over my first major recon with this custom. A lot of it was mostly frustration around reacting, stronger than intended, to inconsistent results. Anger and pain surrounding past issues re surfacing beyond my conscious thoughts and control and general exhaustion over working myself almost every day with little to no time for anything else
At least I am not seeking distractions or escaping by indulging my inferior Se. I get to face it all head on. At times I feel myself longing for a place that once made me feel truly at home. I wouldn’t be who or where I am today without it. It was my peace before I became strong enough to truly explore finding it within. But it was much more than that, It was the first home I’ve truly felt safe in since I became an adult. Reminiscing and then feeling immense gratitude has been doing wonders with alchemizing the hurt. And to accept that I can feel immense longing, gratitude, regret and hurt simultaneously
I can long for where I am no longer welcome without suffocating. I’ve said far more than I should but I know well that my time is up. And I’ve paid my respects as best I could
As for the visceral hurt, it was a fair price for my new perspectives. The wounds carve texture around my heart. Without them, I would be as I was before. Struggling to find myself, stumbling in the dark. Unaware of my self worth and I deserve. And without those wounds, I would not have fully understood the sacred joy being at home. for I would not know it’s absence
Current stack. WB/Peace/MDFY Freedom custom + New HS stage 1 Attuned.
Attuned early results: I’ve used it for 3 min yesterday. I’ve been feeling fatigued since then. Slept 12 hours yesterday and still woke up fatigued. It’s the only kind that have ever felt good, even merciful and I’ve only experience it whenever I visit my family which is continents away from where I live
It feels like a certian vigilant clusters within my body and mind have finally unclenched, after years of calcifying into place, and in their wake I am getting a long overdue rest. This has somewhat started with Peace, which i believed paved the way, but Attuned affected it directly
No revelations, no particular desires or need of either. I can still manage to go about my newer long days of work and engagement with life. The only side effect, if I could call it that, has been the random " wood " that I’ve been getting which are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Without any particular desires for anyone or anything oddly enough
Life is starting to feel like the uphill that usually comes after a long period of troubles and hardship. Except this one does not follow the usual pattern. This one feels natural and brought by a change strong enough to re write the old
It started to feel real as soon as I started using HS Stage 1 Attuned but It’s been happening since I started using Peace. It doesn’t feel like a reward nor a " level " up through a revelation or lesson. It just is. I don’t really care about the specific how’s and why’s anymore. It just is and I am glad for it
There is another part that feels like getting too much into details would jinx my progress somehow. I don’t truly believe in such superstition but I know better from experience. It’s good either way, I don’t need the mechanics but I’d guess winning through alignment is something I will be getting used to
I can hear a faint echo wanting to scream " finally " but there is no need for that anymore. I am reclaiming the same importance that causes distance. This is the new normal and I intend to be grateful for it without glorifying it
Good job old me. You can start believing that you can rest easy now. And if you ever feel like showing up to check if we are in danger or not, you will be met with kindness and patience
Last few days were quite rough. Attuned started causing slow burn recon that came and went in waves, same theme and different aspects. Self worth and feeling down because of varying outside factors.
With each wave I’ve felt a glimpse of the resolution. Something I have understood long ago but never was ready to tackle. That self worth and value could only ever start from within. The bad & painful pushed me away from facing this truth. The good and especially what feels good helped me forget about it.
There is no lying to ZP. There is no room for delusions. And one painful truth remained. I have a thousand reason to hate myself and the world, resolving them is no different than moving another step on the hamster wheel. Today I felt safe enough to be present within that pain. It felt grim, hopeless and yet it was not invincible. That was all I needed to do for it to dissolve. There was no grand revelation nor a reward. Just a quiet relief that the hard part is over
That I need only be present enough with the waves which unfold at the right time. While it’s easy to get lost in the mental noise when the waves crash, my head remains above the water. And I have the power to stay present with the discomfort, and to reclaim it’s power over me by yielding to the fact there is nowhere else to be. No reward to make me forget, no challenge for me to overcome and no noise that will ever create a solution.
I am beginning to believe that each painful wave of recon, regardless of size, contains a nugget that contains it’s entire energetic polarity through transmutation. That each wave seems to contain something I can reclaim simply by staying present with it.
Part 2: About a week ago a girl at my old workplace sent a picture of me, unknowingly, to one of her friends who told her to tell me that she was interested. I was quite in a social, open and fun mood and it felt right. Since then I’ve been texting and getting to know this mysterious girl who lives far away but seems to visit my town from time to time
As we got to test, flirt, tease, challenge and get to know each other it became obvious that she is an Attuned/WB themed connection for lack of better terms. Our chemistry is as effortless as it is refreshing. This is someone who seems genuinely interested in the real me, the new me i am settling into, and is emotionally mature enough to understand her own flaws and needs.
I told her about who I am, what I want and what I have to offer at the this time and we are quite aligned. She is super hot and knows it, and has been testing me to no end. Through our interactions, I began realizing and applying the lessons of what it truly means to connect with someone from a place of utter self acceptance and self appreciation, to enjoy the heights of the feminine beauty both softly and intensely and to connect freely without the shackles of shared pain and isolation be it mental, emotional or physical
Since we are both quite stubborn and self aware, this could be very well be the most intense, grounded & real connection I’ve ever experienced… Or either of us gets turned off because of a yet to be explored fundamental difference. We both seem to see the person 1st, while deeply feeling the picture 2ndly. However it goes, this has been quite the treat for my development. I sure as hell no longer have to worry about being " of value/of use " to her or anyone back. I always am, because I am the prize
Stack Change
Replacing WB/Peace custom with
Base
1: WANTED Core ( Goal: Being magnetic for simply existing )
2: Attuned Core ( Goal: Self love & acceptance )
3: BDLM Core ( Goal: Thicker pp at 20 cm )
4: ESSENCE: Clear Sight ( Cognitive boost )
Shifting Modules
5: Sun-Kissed ( Goal: Health )
6: Voice Master ( Goal: To become comfortable talking with a deeper voice )
7: APS: Head/Face ( Goal: Dat Henry Cavil jawline )
8: Anvil of Hephaestus ( Goal: Retain muscle mass, little time for gym )
9: Emperor Fitness Height Inducer ( Goal: 190 CM )
Energy Modules
10: Fusion Core ( Goal: Energy )
11: SPS: Fat Burn ( Goal: Me like food, food go right places )
12: Radiating Health ( Goal: Healthy Boi )
13: Fusion Optimized ( Goal: Moar ENERGY )
Supportive Modules
14: Pragya ( Goal: Cognition & processing power )
15: Auric Overdrive ( Goal: Refining the Wanted ROAYLE aura )
16: Perfection Manifestation ( Goal: Big tiddy goth gf )
17: Epigenetics & DNA Modulator ( Goal: Fits neatly )
And Limitless/R.I.C.H Name embedded with New KB ST1
I’ve used my previous titles for a full cycle. At best I’ve made most use of Peace and Limitless cores respectively. As much as I love WB, It is simply the right title for me at the wrong time. I used to use titles as something that A: resonates and B: Something I can grow into with time.
But the most progress I’ve made was with titles resonated with who and where I am at. Not who I would like to be. WB is simply not a title for someone rebuilding and is only beginning to discover himself. After inquiring with qOS, Wanted is simply the better fit and it being a non-artisanal title means I could afford more processing power.
As for Attuned, It was a matter of choice between it and Peace. It is the better choice for my current goals and where I am at.
For the 2nd title slot. I have used R.I.C.H for most of 2026 and it has helped me land where I am today. But today asks for energy, commitment and lots of hard work with little to no room for scaling or exploring. Limitless helped but it too has served it’s purpose. And using a dual core name embedded is quite taxing.
So I will be revisiting KB which will synergize beautifully with my custom and I will get to focus on my neidan and tai chi practices when I am not working. Since the next year will be focused on setting a new base and establishing my stability. My current goal is to use each stage for 3 cycles until I reach and stay at stage 4 which will be included as a core in a new custom replacing Attuned.
By then Ill probably be using New Stark with R.I.C.H in a secondary custom but that’s subject to change. Will give my first impressions on the new KB stage 1 after washout