Day 15: EoG1, Ascension, GLM.
Nothing major to report. Ran the stack. blah day overall, due to slow activity with Instacart.
We came home early.
Day 16: Rest
After a full day of only one shit order showing up on Uber Eats, I was driving home. intending on stopping at the grocery store to check for cat treats.
As I’m nearing the grocery store, I see this group of HS-age-looking students doing picket signs across the street from McDonald’s, for this McTakeover thing they do one Wednesday a month for 2 hours or so for a charity thing.
One of them, I thought it looked like Zelda! Enough so I drove back around the block to see if it was her. It wasn’t. But my nervous system responded like it was her.
I suddenly felt the same old stuff come up…“What would she see in a guy like me?”
I definitely need to run full Khan at some point. I’m better than bullshit thoughts like that.
Yesterday/Last night was a rest day of course. I dreamed that I met with someone I haven’t talked to in a while. There was a journal entry (too lazy to search as it’s been a while) where I mention 2 women basically “breaking up” (haha) with me on the same day.
IRL, the one I dreamed about ghosted me. blocked me on everything except her YouTube channel, and maybe that’s just because she forgot I followed her YT.
Anyhoo, I dreamed that we met up somewhere, and I hugged her and told her how much I’ve missed our talks we used to have.
(No idea IRL why she suddenly ghosted me. Such a cowardly fucking way to handle things honestly. Don’t even give a brother a chance to learn from whatever perceived mistake and grow. But whatfuckinever)
I basically thought I was past all that lol. But I woke up incredibly sad this morning, without knowing why at first. Then my dream recall kicked in. @Sage_Ninjistic can attest that my dream recall is quite prolific.
Weird thing about my dream recall is it’s “backwards” from normal. I wake up not remembering, and the bits and pieces fill in the longer I’m awake.
I have a theory about that. Maybe undiagnosed adult ADD/ADHD. Not sure. but ADD/ADHD are characterized by an abundance of theta brainwaves in the waking state, and not enough beta.
Back to the dream. Hugged her, told her I miss her, blah blah. She seemed receptive to talking.
As I started to mention, the dream showed me that on some level, I’m not 100% past being ghosted, and still miss having her in my life.
I tell myself that ghosting me is her loss, but hell, it’s my loss too.
Day 17: Ascension, EoG1, GLM
I used my iPhone’s “shuffle” function for my playlist (got that above order)
Nothing to report really yet, since it was later in the evening when I finally ran the stack. About to head to sleep, so who knows.
4 more days of this cycle. I’m still debating on if I’ll change out just one title for stack rotation, and if so, which one.
I originally thought about revisiting my M1, M2, M3 approach. Just using each cycle for one of the Ms.
To recap:
M1-Meeting Women (titles like Wanted, PS or Libertine)
M2-Mating (Diamond and Sex Mastery basically)
M3-Moneymaking (EoG, Emperor, R.I.C.H., etc)
The issue with doing just one M per cycle is with a multistager like EoG, there’d be huge time gaps between each stage.
So I’m more thinking of just having one title in each cycle to cover all 3 Ms.
So example for a cycle:
Primal Seduction
Sex Mastery
EoG (whichever stage I’m on)
I’ve got about 9 days to decide on something, assuming I do a 5-day washout. Washouts suck even more than rest days for me. I feel helpless if I’m not actively doing something like listening to subs to keep the ball rolling.
I’d eventually like to work PCC in to lock the 48LP stuff in more. Just not sure yet how to classify that in my M framework.
finis
Earlier today, while the wife and I were out working Instacart, she said she wanted sex tonight. I’m OK with that haha.
Tonight, we ate, and I loaded up Sex Mastery V1 (apparently haven’t downloaded V2 yet) ultrasonic, and put it on the phone.
I was gonna do Diamond without ME, V2…but apparently haven’t downloaded that yet either.
Played SMV1 ultra…15 mins of course…just set the phone by the bed. hit Play.
Yes, it isn’t a “proper” cycle anymore because of that. But hey, it’s a single loop. I just decided to use it similarly to how we used to use Ultimas as a “booster” back in the day.
and MAN. The sex was amazing for both of us.
My oral game was next level. Found myself also being more “hands on” as far as her “love language” being physical touch.
It felt like I was a completely different person. She also was more hands on (lol). I didn’t even tell her I was doing SM.
It all flowed like butter though.
Day 18: Rest
Went out today with every intention of making money via Uber Eats. (I’ll show the universe! I can do this)
I even drove to the town 2 towns away which is usually busier for that stuff.
Got there and the majority of stuff showing up to do is $3 per delivery. Like what the hell am I gonna do with $3?
I usually only go with stuff that’s $10 or more, but that’s been rare lately.
I ended up deleting the app from my phone. I’m better than that.
Going all the way to the town 2 towns away (26 miles or so), and not getting shit, I took that as a sign.
dunno what I’ll do next, but needs to be something I’ve got more control over whatever pieces there are to it.
Closing one chapter opens another
Day 19: EoG1, Godlike Masculinity, Ascension
Nearing the end of this cycle, not looking forward to washing out, I rarely have liked washing out.
I’ll do it though. Time for me to figure out the next cycle.
Starting sometime yesterday or last night, and into today, I’ve been thinking a LOT about masculinity and “being a man”.
I follow a woman fitness model on IG, and she posted something on a story today reiterating how women are drawn to guys who just have their shit together.
Which we all know that on some level I think. But seeing that post today seemed like a “sign” even though I don’t subscribe to a lot of woowoo concepts any longer, and I definitely don’t go out of my way looking for “signs”.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking yesterday and today about who I want to be as a man.
What it would mean for ME to have my shit together.
- All the money I could ever want need, both in income and holdings. So I could do what I want without worrying about looking for discounts as necessity.
- Flex my will when it comes to women. HOWEVER that turns out. Whether I go off and be single, or I stay married and figure something else out.
- Tinkering and creating as I like to do.
There are other things there, but it all comes down to Freedom. Not asking permission, and rather givng myself all the permission I ever need.
So I got to thinking about subs that will help me get there.
So now I’ll be taking a good hard look at who I want to be in 5 years, or whatever other arbitary timeframe will let me show progress without seeming like forever.
- See what he does that I’m not doing yet.
- See what he’s not doing or has given up doing which I’m still doing.
And as I identify those things, that will make my choices of sub/tools easier to decide on and implement.
I’m definitely thinking that Primal will come into play at some point.
To encourage you Palpatine, I’ll share a recent awareness I’ve had with Emperor.
I, too, have felt restricted by everyone else’s desires for me, to where I completely lost touch with who I am (or who I truly desired to be). I’ve felt guilty when trying to break out of that societal frame…which seems to abhor freedom.
I noticed this morning my mind seeking to accept this new norm which Emperor builds. It was new to me, and guilt was not present. I felt freedom, if even in small doses.
I share this to contrast how I have always pushed people away to gain freedom. Hell, I was in my late 30’s trying to join the US Army while still being married. I was almost in, but got blocked by a medical issue. I only realized later how meaningful my daily drive time with my daughter was. I had been trying to escape my wife so I could feel like a man again, unhinged from all the unwanted compliance I had adopted in the relationship.
I either created or accepted other’s relational survival routines. But tĥey didn’t help. Because I had lost touch with myself.
Additionally, I lost belief that I could be good to people if I succeeded in anything. Therefore, lack of success became my lifeline. I associated success with hurting people (like my father did). Which is messed up.
Emperor is changing my mindset. I’d say Rebirth is helping too due to my blocks. But change is coming, and some is already here.
I’m not pushing people away. I just don’t want to. That is HUGE for me. Maybe some healing subs are kicking in (I listened to my first loop of CFW while writing).
But that’s my experience so far. I have an excited sense that more is on its way.
P.S. To summarize all this, the major shift I’m experiencing is seeing my part in the construction of my life. I played a part in every single decision I’ve made. Seeing that responsibility allows and even encourages me to take actions I can feel good about now. Also, instant procrastination or avoidance doesn’t come on due to the normal victim mindset (due to CFW 
)
I’ll even share that I called my ex-wife this morning for Mother’s Day after having accepted my housemate’s suggestion to call her. He’s 90, so texting is not his norm. But while mentally debating his suggestion, I knew she and I would feel so much better with some actual conversation. Giving always makes me feel better, and it felt good hearing her appreciation for it.
The “little things” really do matter to women, often moreso than major bells and whistles. My housemate was right.
Day 20: Rest
I forgot to journal today the dream I had last night. I’ll do that below.
As for today, nothing significant to report other than some deep-level thinking about PCC/48LP.
Thinking more about the different subs/stacks I’ll use to become who I need to be.
Last night in bed, I had a dream.
Dreamed that someone fitted me with a bomb vest and also a bomb that’s the pipe version around my neck. But even the neck device was concealed somehow, so nobody saw it.
I was told by this person (no idea who) over the phone that they’d blow me up (apparently enought to take out a few city blocks) if I didn’t do exactly as they said. Or if I alerted anyone to the bombs on me, boom.
Typical TV show type stuff.
I remember being panicked trying to figure a way out. This person somehow had an audio feed that I could hear. LIke an earpiece I had to keep in and on at all times.
I was at a Chinese food place at one point. A lady and her daughter (maybe 8 or 9 years old) are at the same table I’m seated at. I didn’t want this girl to die, and it seems like the bomb could go off at any moment.
I was trying to figure out how to warn the lady without tipping off the “bad guy”.
The menu at this place is one of those typical Chinese/Teriyaki menus where they have like 100 numbered meals to pick from (haha).
As I’m reading the menu, I notice one of the meal options is called “I’m wearing a bomb vest”.
I decide I’ll subtly get the mom’s attention, and point to that.
As I’m about to, I realize “There isn’t enough context there. She’ll just think I’m some crazy with a bomb vest. She won’t understand I’m trying to save her and her daughter”
I just as suddenly decide “Even if they think I’m a mad bomber, it’s worth it to me to keep them from getting blown up”.
So I glance down at the menu in a way as to get her to look, and I point out that part.
Of course, she looks worried and scared of me, grabs her daughter and leaves without saying a word. I feel sad knowing that I’ll likely die without getting to tell her the full story, and knowing she’ll think lowly of me. But I’m still resolved that it was the only way I could think of to let her know without tipping off the baddie.
Felt like I was doing the right thing.
That’s all I really remember.
I remember overall that the entire dream felt like in “Die Hard with a Vengeance” when Mclane had to do all the “Simon says” tasks to keep bombs from going off. I don’t remember how it ended. Maybe that’s a good thing.
The symbolism mostly escapes me at the moment.
Lack of Control and sheer desparation are the feelings that I remember though.
I’ve just finished reading The 48 Laws of Power and WOW!
I’m already considering another passthrough of 1 chapter per day. Maybe I’ll do that 48 times 
Great book. Looking forward to diving back in on PCC when I’ve got space in my stacks.
I can see how 48LP/PCC would work great as tools in one’s seduction arsenal.
Got so many ideas in my head of subs I wanna run eventually.
PCC
True Sell
Inner Circle
Daredevil
Khan
and so on
So much overlap between all of them. This year’s shaping up to be a fun experiment.
Day 21: EoG1, Ascension, GLM
Didn’t run titles until just about 20 minutes ago (finished up the 45 mins of subs 20 mins ago).
Was too busy making money today to run subs when I normally would 
I reinstalled the Doordash delivery app yesterday. Worked Doordash today. I reinstalled the Uber Eats app and had it going in the background while I did Doordash. Wanted to give UE the benefit of the doubt, basically a last chance to prove its worth to me.
It popped 2 orders total today.
I briefly did Doordash a few days last year or year before but quit because it seemed the pay was paltry.
So I’d sworn off Doordash delivering all the time since. Based on experience, etc.
The 48th Law of Power is “Assume formlessness” Which in a nutshell says to not rest on your laurels. To not rely on old ways of being, old paradigms. Adapt to the current situation at all times.
I decided to give Doordash another go. Today I was available a total of 7 hours and made $112. basically $16/hour. Not great, but after such a dry run with UE, it felt great.
The key I’ve found is to just accept all delivery offers that come up and do them. Mainly to keep my “acceptance rate” up. it’s at 82% and the higher you get it, the better the delivery offers they show me first.
I’m just taking it on faith for the time being that this will all even out, and if I can keep up doing well enough, it’ll keep bills paid, give the wife more of a break, and giving me breathing room to “plan out my next moves” to keep in line with 48LP lingo.
This marks the end of this sub listening cycle. Now to try and not run any subs for 3-5 days.
I got an inspired idea for what my next stack will be, on the next cycle. I’m keeping EoG1 and GLM, and upgrading Ascension to Ascended Mogul for a cycle. I’ll see how that goes.
Day 21: something I forgot.
Was at the store today to buy a package of pre-cut canteloupe. I get those for $5 and it’s just enough to make me not hungry, and it’s hydrating (was almost 90 Farenheit today and the car gets even hotter in the sun).
Annabelle was working, so I went through her line. Because she’s cute and fun to talk to. And her ass is amazing (I guess the cute part covers that haha). We talked longer than usual. I think Ascension and/or GLM definitely do something.
Another thing is I went to one of those drive-up coffee shacks for a Doordash delivery pickup. The cute blonde working that was cute as hell. We seemed to talk easily. no effort. making jokes back and forth.
I felt like I could’ve given her my number to talk later and it might’ve been received well. I didn’t of course because I’m not gonna make any moves of that nature until my $ situation is solid.
I think a lot of my issues will be fixed or at least improved as my money situation is fixed. @James knows what I mean I think.
Same thing goes through my mind every day. Why I am running only EOG until I now longer feel like becoming financially independent is inevitable. I will only change my current stack if a coding/programming sub is released.
I love the idea of a coding sub with EOG
Much like I broke through a lot of issues with Dragon Reborn I intend to do the same with EOG.
Most things aren’t fun or enjoyable because I am always stressed out about money.
Washout Day 1: It’s hella hard not to download RoD and run it.
The wife wanted a back massage tonight. It turned into sex. woo.
GLM is ahmazing.
You credit GLM for the back rub culminating into coitus?
I credit GLM for the coitus in general. After the coitus, I said “You must wanted it from the backrub”.
she said “Nah, I wanted it already. Just wanted a backrub first”
Excellent, didn’t realize GLM would give that effect, but it makes sense now that I think about it.
Congrats brother!