La Aqua de Zero

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Right!

Never kept an online journal before but it might be the right time.

I knew once the preview titles were announced of two that I would definitely use. The third was an endless back and forth between Spartan, Limitless and Wanted.
I eventually settled on:

  • Diamond
  • Chosen
  • Limitless

The reason for Diamond, other than the simple pleasure of good sex, is that my wife hardly gets any from me these days. It is a complicated issue but my wife used to be the person who turned me on the most in all the women I have been with. Not anymore and that has had an impact on the whole relationship.

The reason for Chosen is that I lead a team of around 12 people in an organisation with a very specific and unusual culture where everything gets escalated and I want to delegate more but in a way that will not come back to bite me. I joined just before COVID so we were never really able to connect properly in a ‘normal’ context.

The reason for Limitless is that my job is very intellectually demanding (to me at least) and I get overloaded with information. Processing information quickly and comprehensively is critical to support the leadership objective of Chosen.

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#2

Once ZP files were available from Wednesday, I proceeded to download and break the listening recommendations just a little bit, sorry SC.

Played Chosen twice back to back in the early part of the day and ran Diamond in the evening. That means three ZP loops on one day.

I have gotten to understand my mind a bit better over the years and I tend to stonewall as is the term used in the support section here. I sometimes initially feel like I am getting instant results but I tend to quickly discount those and then progress is excruciatingly slow or non-existent.

After running Chosen x2 that morning, I felt pretty much nothing and I’ll admit that it was a disappointment. But after thinking about it a bit, I figured that I read all the results from testers at the end a number of days and first day experiences would probably be more varied and tame in some cases. For all the efforts by the subliminal creators to make the changes rapid and profound, we are still talking about a mindset or mental programming that has been with me for many decades. I should remain patient and calm, may be that was the script already in action :slightly_smiling_face:
The day went as normal, online meetings and my family reacted to me exactly the same as usual, nobody bowed or kneeled to me. In fact it was a stressful day and I felt like the stress was getting to me. Towards the end of the evening I felt a bit calmer but I tend to calm down from stress in the evening anyway, unless it’s extreme.

Diamond with ME x1 in the evening and again felt nothing at the time. Whilst having my shower that evening, I thought I felt some slight heat in the center of the tube and was kind of itching a bit just before bed. I’m all for testing out new things and stuff but I draw the line on Subliminally Transmitted Diseases, know what I’m saying’!

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#3

Next day was rest day so I resisted the urge to play anything. That was kinda hard as I am used to playing something every day like many here.

It was another stressful day but towards the end of the day I did feel a little bit calmer and I had a slightly stronger belief in myself and an online meeting which had the potential to ruin my weekend actually ended ok. I was writing a short report against the clock and I made the decision to shorten it so I could get it out in time whereas I normally will try to do that but only end up shaving off less than half of what I initially wanted to shave off. Also, I felt like I made better use of the time available. Time normally runs away uncontrollably when I do these things and that makes me anxious. I have always had an issue with managing my time and this felt a bit better in the sense that I was marginally clearer on what I was trying to accomplish.

Another thing to note with regards to time is that i generally go to bed just after midnight, because i am on my phone for too long, and wake up around 7am or sometimes 6am if I have an early train to catch. However, I know that my best sleep occurs if I naturally fall asleep around 10.15pm or 11.30pm. I was able on Wednesday and Thursday nights to turn my phone off at 11.30pm and go to sleep. Still felt tired in the morning but had a deeper sleep.

Last minor thing I noticed: I try to go for a 30-45 minutes evening walk if I have been sat all day working from home to get some movement in my body. Almost every time I will tend to listen to music, read something or watch a YouTube video. Yesterday, I put my headphones on and started reading stuff on the subliminal results forum but didn’t really want to do that so I kept my headphones on but played nothing so they were isolating me a bit from road noise and let my mind wander. Toward the end of the walk I started thinking about why I sometimes let people who I think are stronger or more powerful (not just physically but in general) walk over me if I think there will be a confrontation that I will lose. I camouflage it well and sometimes I fight back but I know it’s mostly there. It has been an issue as far as I can remember.
Some of it stems from my parents and their passiveness and I’ve always known that. But it struck me that there were two events in my early teens that I am internally deeply ashamed of which played a significant role in shaping my self image. In one of those events, I didn’t stand up for myself and I allowed someone to impose their will on me because I was scared of fighting back and that made me feel weak and believe I am a weak person. I’ve been consciously aware of my shame for a long time but what I didn’t realise was the impact this had had on me in so many areas of my life. Was that ZP? I don’t know but the first step to solving a problem is to recognise its extent and whether it is ZP or not, I welcome that realisation.

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#4

Keep paying attention to any changes you notice.

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#5

Absolutely.

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#6

I’ve bookmarked this journal. We want to discover how to help the so-called hard-gainers get better results. ZP is working better than Qv2 on this regard, but there HAS to be a way to get everyone to respond better.

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#7

I think that we have certain limitation in our subconscious that automatically rejects affirmations or our higher self doesn’t want to accept them. Maybe you guys could make a title that is purely based on removing those kind of limits?

Sorry @AquaLimba for jumping here on your journal.

#8

I ran Diamond two days ago and no effect but I have not had sex so don’t know. I’m a married man so should be able to jump on my wife but we have had a very poor sex life for over a year now, I think we have not had sex in almost two months. That one is so complicated, it would take two hours to even explain. No doubt more will come out as the journal progresses.
What I do think though is that I am scared that I would initiate something and it would flop, which would make me question my belief in the subs. Almost like buying the fastest car in the world on paper but never testing it in case the world finds out it’s not that fast after all. It’s a major confidence issue.

My thoughts are to play Diamond until it happens, just like we normally do after a long while. No pressure on myself.

#9

I played limitless today x2 back to back. Not expecting anything quick and obvious with that one. That’s because:
A) We use our intelligence all the time in so many different ways that you’d need to define your criteria extremely carefully and I haven’t done so. Like my man @James who doubts he will score over 100 on an IQ test (not sure if he has done it yet), I also don’t believe I would fare very well. Yet, having studied a fair bit in my time and through my work, I know I am intelligent with specific areas to improve on.
B) Intelligence is a system which depends on physiological factors (brain health, hormones etc) and psychological inputs (mood, external stimuli, motivation etc). To me this means that I need to be in that context where both elements are activated to begin to observe a change.

Note that is is shit I came up with and it may be already be proven or disproven in established peer reviewed publications. I have no clue but that’s how I see it.

I decided to run Limitless for my work as I have a lot coming my way every single day and would like to process information more efficiently and effectively, come to decisions faster, become more knowledgeable in my field and all that stuff. I noted previously that this sub and Chosen are really meant to be complementary.
A slow burner potentially in my eyes.

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#10

Back to Chosen as that is the one. Was that a pun…?! :thinking:

I try to evaluate the time since I last wrote. It was my mother-in-law’s birthday this week and a small group of us went to some expensive restaurant. Mixed feelings because I should have complained about the food as it was not hot and I got a much smaller portion of the same dish than someone else, but I couldn’t quite pluck up the courage to complain because I didn’t want to look like those people who can’t afford expensive restaurants and complain to get freebies, at least that is how I explained it in my head. This has happened many times before, in other situations. It bothered me that I didn’t though, as it meant that I once again in effect didn’t stand up for myself.

On the other hand, there have been instances in the last couple of days where people have been polite to me when I expected them to be neutral or didn’t expect them them to be friendly. That’s not to say everyone has been friendly because some weren’t and that initially unsettled me. Of course, I know I am running Chosen so I am more attuned to both positive and negative experiences but I think I am dwelling ever so slightly less on the negative ones in that respect than I otherwise would. It’s marginal but I hope it will eventually tilt the balance in favour of consistent positivity.

Another interesting thing was that I went to the gym and the guy taking the class had never seen me before and he was clearly sizing me up (I have that kind of look about me which catches the eyes of alphas as a potential threat). I would generally at the end just leave the class and perhaps mumble a half–hearted goodbye or something. Something told me this time to go up to this guy and thank him for the class in a calm and confident manner. It seemed to take him a bit by surprise and I got the feeling that he understood that I showed him respect but in a secure way, like I’m not challenging you but you don’t intimidate me either.

#11

No worries, Pooter.

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#12

[insert the best expression of jubilation you can think of here]

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#13

Ran Diamond yesterday evening. Nothing to report on that front. I will emphasise once again that it doesn’t mean it’s not working at all since I haven’t had any sex. I am willing to play this one for a little while, even if I don’t have sex, though I surely will by then.
I did go to sleep later than I should have so I woke up tired.
No subs today.
The day has not been very productive because every meeting leads to a new deadline for me before I even have the chance to tackle the one from the previous meeting and that is very demoralising. My boss is a sharp guy who listens attentively and gives the impression that he takes into consideration my workload but I realised a little while ago that it’s just a game he is good at to plan his moves, he is actually a cold person. It’s not that I want him to care about me, it’s just that I struggle with the workload and feel like I am being set up to fail. That emotion comes and goes as events happen but it has lingered with me the whole day and I don’t like it. I know however that only I can fix that through a change in my approach and clearer goals to achieve.
I think I have a fear of success and that is where may be even the subs get blocked, when they start to work. For example, in games like table tennis or soccer games which I only occasionally play, I tend to start strong and as soon as people start to compliment or I realise I am doing well, things deteriorate and I end up messing up. But I don’t mess up so bad that I am the all time loser, just enough to be somewhere in the middle or just above average (applies in group games or events of course). I can sense my subconscious taking over at those times but that’s certainly not a battle I can win right there. The outside world has no idea because I act like I really want to win but I know.

#14

I played Limitless yesterday just before falling and though I would not call it energising, I did fall asleep slightly later than I would have anticipated. May be 30-45 minutes or so later which isn’t much but I was ready to fall asleep so it possibly got my brain working. Issue with that is that I ended up sleeping less because I have to wake up at a set time. Today I was therefore a little tired but did alright at work.

#15

I played Chosen x 2 the day before yesterday.
A few points of interest:

  • I had an important meeting at work presenting something at the audit committee via Zoom which I wasn’t sure if it would go down smoothly. It did go quite well, although there were a couple of expected sticky points but we glazed those over relatively smoothly. How this links to Chosen is that I noticed myself being more calm in the meeting, feeling less at the mercy of my anxieties around those sticky points. I am a reasonably calm person and everyone is always amazed at how calm I appear in meetings but it’s sometimes not how I feel at all even if I look it. This time I was more calm than I thought I would be and I think I was very composed when it was my turn to participate.
  • I stopped by a grilled chicken place and the girl taking the order was quite abrupt. Things like that irritate me and I can take it personally but I didn’t and continued to treat her politely but in a non-needy way. Long story short, I needed some help afterwards with something on their website and asked her to help me and, again she was a bit abrupt but she did help and I could sense her hesitating to carry on being abrupt. I carried on with the website after she got me to the right page and before I left, I said bye and thanks for your help and she said you’re welcome. The interesting thing was that I took a couple of steps and she said ‘did you manage to complete the process’, I said yes thanks to which she then said just let me know if you have any issues with it. In itself, it’s nothing but when you consider that I was actually already walking away and she was initially abrupt and impatient with me but was now literally making a point to let me know she would help, it’s to be noted.
  • Although I manage people, I tend to have a problem delegating and ordering people to do things. It’s not because I am a control freak but because I don’t like taking orders very much and imagine that the other person also feels that way and doesn’t want to do it. I think I also have a little fear that the person will say no and I won’t know how to deal with it. Of course this doesn’t apply every time but it’s often the case. I have found myself a little more comfortable telling people what to do where I might probably have hesitated in the past. It’s not like I am walking around barking out orders to everyone but the comfort zone boundaries are shifting slightly.

I don’t think I get any acute effect from any of those ZP files but I feel like I am getting some subtle changes happening at least with Chosen. I accept that some of these events would have happened anyway so I’m not judging the effectiveness on the strength of each event in isolation, but rather on the cumulative effect of all that I am noticing. That’s because there will always be situations which support the desired benefits of the sub and others which oppose it, just like when you invest in stocks, you will have gains and losses but what matters is whether you see net gains over a reasonable extended period. My feeling, @SaintSovereign , if it helps is that I already had some leadership qualities that I had developed over time AND I have a conscious desire to move in that direction so the subliminal is acting like wind in the sails and gently nudging me on, creating a positive feedback loop which is critical to long term change.
This may apply to any good subliminal but ZP does seem to have that difference for me where I understand that this could just be how I see things but that is ok because that is what matters up to a point (don’t want to become outright delusional). It was a bit clearer to me this morning when an older thought came to me whilst washing my hands and cold water came out. I was tempted to wait till it warmed up but I figured that the cold water is only uncomfortable because I wanted warm water and I subconsciously believe that cold water in the winter will make me feel cold and perhaps I could fall ill as a result. If I reframe it in that the warm water will come out after that and I can carry on washing till it’s warm and comfortable, which means that my reasons to pull my hands away are essentially blown out of proportions. That said, I should still be mindful of the water temperature and keep my senses alert so I am not losing my ability to perceive but rather, gradually develop the ability to control how it affects me and what I project from it. This is nothing new to the world or revolutionary but like with all the best things out there, the concept is simple even if its application is not. It kind of makes me think that for someone like me, the multi stage ZPs would potentially be even more amazing. The ZP limit of three titles for some of us is a boon, even if it feels like a punishment.

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#16

Also ran Diamond the day before yesterday and it was mostly a non-event. That said, something interesting happened.
I have a problem with porn. Jerking off to porn is for me what I would describe an addiction. I know there are people out there who think that PMO is harmless and good for you but that may just be their experience. Bear in mind that I started this in my early teens with porn magazines and I am now in my mid forties. Porn has had a huge impact on my life and I wouldn’t call it positive. It has impacted more than just my sexual life, it has also impacted my relationships (beyond just sexually), my work (through continuous late nights), my self confidence (feeling like a loser for spending so much of my time watching others doing what I want to be doing), my fitness journey, my motivation to get things done etc.
In my earlier posts I said I was married and had not had sex for a while to test Diamond. I have made an effort to cut down the porn at home as much as possible because I felt like it would completely destroy my marriage, spending an hour in the bathroom, or waiting for my wife to go to sleep so I could stay downstairs for hours watching porn etc. What happens though is that I occasionally have to spend a night or two away from home for work reasons and every time I go, I tell myself I won’t do porn but only very rarely has that actually happened.
I stayed away from home the night I ran Diamond and, surprise surprise, I was on the net for almost three hours tugging away. What I noticed was that, when I eventually ejaculated, it was different to any previous time I can remember. Usually, I get this very very intense first wave of ejaculation/orgasm, followed by a less intense one and another less intense one and perhaps a last weak one but the intensity of the first one seems to cause a crash afterwards where I feel physically weakened and mentally down. This would even last until the next day. I know from looking it up online that it’s not uncommon for many guys to get this effect. This time was different though, it was like the peak of the orgasm wasn’t as high but the overall duration of the orgasm lasted slightly longer and was more ‘balanced’ if I may say. Whilst the powerful and peaky orgasms may seem more exciting, the comedowns that come with those are not enjoyable at all. I certainly enjoyed this version of the orgasm much more because it felt like there was no price to pay afterwards. I even came back home the next day and considered servicing my wife but luck would have it that it was a bad time of the month. I am hoping that this is a feature of the subliminal and not something else.

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#17

I ran both Chosen x2 and Diamond yesterday.
I like Chosen in how it subtly seems to help get over those minor irritations and slights from people which can sometimes take over your day because they make you feel a certain way. Although I’ve normally been reasonably good at moving on from the memory of such unpleasant events, the feelings they generate can linger for much longer. What I mean is that someone may treat me a certain way which I didn’t like and it may take me an hour or two to actually stop thinking about it but the feeling of frustration or anger or whatever it was can be bubbling under the surface without me consciously remembering the cause. I feel like with Chosen I get over the feeling in particular more quickly, which is the bit that is more likely to negatively impact on other areas of your life during that time if it festers for long enough. I still get the same feeling but get over it more quickly. That is a significant benefit in itself and I would welcome more of that with continued use. In fact, I would say that to me this is fundamental to the overall growth of benefits from the sub because it creates the space for positive experiences to come to the surface and have their moment in the light rather than be eclipsed by, more often than not, quite trivial events and situations.

In meetings today, I was more aware of my position as a leader and I think I am slowly beginning to recognise that there are times when being the leader means stepping back a bit to let others do their thing, not because you want to be gracious but because you will get better results overall. These are theories I was previously familiar with but the real difficulty is to gain that awareness whilst it is happening in practice and I sensed it at times today. I have to say that I still need to work on developing that awareness and deliberately acting on it when appropriate, but that will happen over time I’m sure.

On a different note, I went on the main ZP thread yesterday and there seemed to be some good old hard gainer bashing going on there. Though I can see how some people might just like to be called a hard gainer and wear it with pride, I think many others would prefer not to be that way and to get fast results. I couldn’t understand how we are ok to accept that somebody may struggle in comparison to others when it comes to putting on muscle, running fast, jumping high or whatever it is they might want to do, but it seemed as if when somebody’s having slower progress than others with subs then it is simply their fault and they are to blame because they think like this or like that instead of some other better way. It was like ‘hard gainers’ were supposed to be choosing to gain slowly. Somebody mentioned that hard gainer is not the same as no-gainer and that is also my opinion.
Speaking for myself only, I have spent thousand of dollars over the years on various products from subliminal makers and that is not so I can prove that they don’t work, it’s because I want them to work and I know they will ultimately work. Most subs are created using a generic format which does not take into account all the traumas or emotional burden each individual holds onto. Our minds are all so unique that we will all absorb and respond to the sub in different ways from one another. I just need to listen to the correct one(s) for me and that comes with some trial and error as well as patience.

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#18

I had a similar experience when I was running DIAMOND Qv2 and masturbating. The PMO seemed better when on DIAMOND compared to when not using it.

I had a long history with porn and masturbation too. And we also share a similar age of being 40 (not married though).

So I can understand what you are going through. The cycle of doing NoPMO and relapsing does get tiring. A few days back, I just gave it up. And now I think Zero Point is making it easy for me to not even think of touching my penis nor fire up my favorite porn website.

Yeah, sometimes it does get a bit too dramatic on the forum but don’t mind it too much.

It is true that some people take more time than others but the reason why there was a debate on this is because when we qualify ourselves as a hard gainer, we also have a hard time attributing a result to the subliminal. And SaintSovereign has repeated this many times that when we aren’t able to give credit to the subliminal even when we get a small result from it, it works against us and that is why we need to be careful to not do that.

Although looking at your journal, I don’t see the danger of that happening since you can clearly see results from DIAMOND and CHOSEN and have described them so clearly.

Excellent journal, bro. Am sure it will get better in time :pray: