It is strange but after posting what I wrote above, I suddenly have this feeling of release - like that person who just posted the stuff above was not myself and I reading his post from a third person perspective.
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It seems like those have been very deeply embedded thoughts that my subconscious has been running as often as possible that translate into my reality. It just shows that the idea that thoughts become reality. We are our thoughts.
Not like this insight is something new to me, but at this point of time, I seem to have realised it.
Everything is my imagination pushed out.
My mentally-ill relative living a life of regret is a reflection of those same feelings that lay deep in my subconscious.
Well, at least I now know one of the big issues that I need to address.
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Had a strange dream last night.
Was dreaming that I commented on some people realizing that they had been adopted and the mothers they had known before as their mothers were actually their adopted mothers.
In the end, the same thing happened to me and I found that I was adopted. It started when I tried to google search my full name on the Internet and found an old advertisement posted by my real mother from overseas looking for me.
Anyway the real mother was from a big company and she wanted me to live a new life in her country. She had come to me with a bag of expensive rice - and I was shocked and asked my real mother what was going on.
My sister said having grown up with my current family all these years, I would be considered part of the family whether I was adopted or not.
Dreamt that I received some kind of packet of jelly which would turn into fireworks. This was a souvenir from Japan.
My subconscious speaks to me from my external environment.
This forum is becoming very meaningful to me. It appears to be one of the million mirror reflections for the expression of my subconscious.
The key is to be able to choose which of the million mirror reflections I want to pay attention to - I can only choose one - and re-adjust my internal state.
There doesn’t seem to be a past, present or future.
Have to learn to live in the moment.
I feel proud and delighted to see so many successful stories in this forum.
It is a reflection of my subconscious having more confidence in doing its job.
Perhaps that is part of a scene from a TV drama that I had been watching addictively, where a mother abandoned her 1 year old child to live overseas, and returned back to the country after many years to see the father raising her child with his childhood sweetheart. The child naturally did not recognize his biological mother.
New insight today after running 1 loop of Mogul.
Current feeling of being suppressed and trapped in a never-ending cycle is due to a lack of power. Power here includes physical power, mental power, financial power as well as the power to influence others.
An important step for me to break out of my cycle is to regain my power in various aspects.
Inner Voice sounds important to put in my custom sub since I hear my own inner voice 24 hrs a day, which unfortunately is largely filled with repetitive negative thoughts which manifest into my 3D world.
My auditory imagination is better than my visual imagination - so why not make use of Inner Voice?
If I am still so bad at hearing my Inner Voice as an observer, I might as well hear some positive stuff to manifest into my 3D world.
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Dreamt about going back to my school days again.
Strange dream where I felt I had succeeded in going back to the past, with some of my current physical features such as post-braces teeth intact.
Mobile phones with features like cameras and lights were considered new in the dream.
Remembered the number 386, which was supposed to be a room number I was assigned to. The elevator I was kept moving up and down.
Scenes of a library where I took an empty table to do some work on before realising it was reserved.
Scenes of a dialogue between a corruption investigation bureau and a management staff of the building. The management staff was in cahoots with the corruption bureau investigation guy and had bribed him with some cash. The dialogue ended with the corrupt investigator happily saying “Coffee? Sure! But just to tell you any meeting over coffee just needs to be approved by the higher-ups”.
Last Night’s Dream
Had a vivid dream about meeting somebody with some mutual connections and adding her on Facebook.
Remembered discussing with her about what she could do with her website and asked her if she was trying to produce a movie.There was quite a clear image of website elements being moved around in the dream - perhaps I have been playing too much of webflow.
Anyway, I almost thought that her messages on Facebook messenger were real, but they turned out not to be when I woke up.
I also dreamt about stepping into a fast food restaurant that had fully re-opened after the Covid-19 lockdown. I saw and smelt a few pieces of juicy chicken on the grill but decided not to buy anything and walked out of the restaurant.
Finally, I dreamt about my usual study area in the university being closed down. The closure was reflected in the university map and there was only one other study area within a walkable distance.
Subliminal break day today.
Been thinking recently about my various stagnant business ventures and my constant complaint about not having sufficient income.
My response to my stagnant businesses has often been to move away from them and blaming my own mediocrity and COVID-19 amongst other factors. I would think of a new plan, hoping that I could start afresh.
However, I had a shift in perspective recently, and realised that I didn’t want to just close down my companies and take up a normal job which wouldn’t guaranteee stable income in such times.
Something I realise has become a priority now is not to avoid the problems facing my business or my own life, but to look deeply inside for a solution. There is always a solution, and a lot of my financial problems will be resolved if I look inside for the solution rather than thinking that the problem is in the outside.
I look forward to seeing how Submodel Alpha , Informaticon and Secrets of Akasha can help me when my customized subliminal is complete. Not forgetting Blue Skies - I need to start loving my own creations and my own responsibilities.
Nice journey so far
I too am thinking of web development so i can run a business of my own some day free from working in a corporate environment ever again
Ill be following your results
Keep on keeping on 
I like your Limitless image.
Sudden urge to record last night’s dream after some parts of the dream popped up out spontaneously. Or maybe not spontaneously since I thought of an old friend of mine who I had not been in contact with and I suddenly remembered that he had appeared in last night’s dream.
Anyway he asked me out to look at some business in the dream. I can’t remember the details now, but there was some tension between trusting and not trusting what he was saying.
Poor charlies is a great book!