I bought khan and started playing masked total breakdown last week, using set and forget method. Now I badly wanted to be broken down and build up again, fuck man I hate myself. It is like I am failiing because of who I am, at least that is how I view it. I know this is because of nice guy syndrome.
So a couple of days I had a bad experience that really cut deeply in me. At work my focus started to become so much and it felt like laser hard instead of relaxed/calm that I started to miss clues, social cues I normally would never miss. Because of the hard focus I felt like I lost touch with my body and the sensations I would normally have when someone would crack a joke or be sarcastic. I also felt very fatigued and slow… at lunch someone cracked a joke and it went over my head and she said You are from another planed. Fuck nobody ever said this to me. Out of fear I imediately quit listening to khan!
Because I useually never miss jokes or sarcastic remarks I started to think I was broken as fuck, I even went to youtube to see a video of someone making sarcastic jokes and I noticed I zoned out each time. It scared me…
Then the next day everything was normal again. I don’t want the hard focus that pulls me out of my body in my head from khan, is there anything I can do?