The few days of stage 4 I did. I had a dream that I was in a black hawk chopper dressed as a secret forces in all black and had my POV as that military personal and I was staring at and holding myself handcuffed and naked. Yes I was both but I wasn’t in the naked version of me’s body or conscious yet. I was maybe in and out but 99% the special forces all black dude.
Everything was all black and we where hovering over the middle of the ocean and there is nothing around other than blackness and some thunder strikes really really far away but the helicopter and hardcore wind rain and super high waves were so over powering and the pitch darkness was overwhelming to the senses that everyone was just trying to hold on. We were really close to the top o the waves but kinda far from the baseline of the ocean because some of the waves where really big.
You could see little creatures fins and random tails annshit in the waves it was creepy but kind badass.
Everyone (their are maybe 15-20 military all in dark black uniform with super awesome guns and what not head to toe nothing exposed other than our eyes. Bullet proof vest and helmets boots etc I have all that on and I’m like 250lbs jacked and shredded etc the whole 9 yards .
We all stomp on the ground and then I FUCKING THROW MYSELF OUT IF THE HELICOPTER into the dark ocean with huge waves and shit. Me the 250lb jacked military version throws the naked hand cuffed version into the ocean?!?!? I was like wtf but excited at the same time so confusing.
When I throw myself out of the helicopter I turn into the other version of myself consciously but take on a birds eye point of view of me struggling to stay alive and get air now in the ocean hand cuffs come off some how? But I’m not feeling my legs or arms. Can’t really remember how this happened but later I was using my hands as if they had never been hand cuffed. Adrenaline from fear broke them lose? Idk
I then am given a view of the under water ocean surrounding me and it zooms out to the point I feel like a toothpick and the ocean goes see through so I can see what’s under me. And it’s a bunch of crazy looking monster whales and Octopus etc. and millions of sharks and little angry hungry but NATURAL living species. It was scary but it was like yeah that’s what’s suppose to be here bro it’s there environment/home.
But I was freaked out.
Then I get my left leg complete bitten of by a shark and the blood is now spreading into the ocean/water and all the creatures point to me instantly and are now swinging me to aggressively.
I feel a sucking feeling like a vacuum from the desire of the creatures to feast on me.
I get angry as fuck and put the shark in a headlock somehow and now and using he sharking to keep me above the water alive and riding the sharkign to try to keep away from the creatures and find land or something.
After riding this shark For maybe 30-45 seconds I realized there’s no where to go. No land no nothin that shows a way for me to survive.
The madness and lack of certainty of anything and the environment weather bleeding drives me insane and I take my head and put it into the sharks mouth and let it bite my head and half of my chest off to kill me.
I wake up and journal:
What did I make of that? That my old scared bitch ass self had no where to go and the gig was up. An old version of me had died and I had been the one to do it to show that version of myself that it was over.
I also noticed that things I was scared of I would be like okay bitch let’s go now that you said you’re scared I’m DEFINITELY FUCKING YOUR ASS UP RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW (talking to my fears)and I loved this b/c I do this already but with khan stage 4 it was put into action quick and the aggression that came from not doing it was again painful and emotionally connecting to not doing what i must. I WASN’T angry at others or wanting to hurt others etc it was aggression towards a weak version of myself I wanted to demolish.
Also had my word choice change to “conquering her insides and invading her fortress” this could be me also putting weird spells on myself to try to further enhance the effects and get into the flow of it.
I am not using Khan stage 4 right now I will be soon.
Just wanted to share some thoughts and a full blown dream I can still vividly remember now but that might b because I jumped up and journaled the whole thing and drew (POSITIVE BENEFICIAL) conclusions from it and really sat and thought about them immediately after it happened.
On stage 3 khan right now with some emporer kinda like a 50/50blend but tommorow will start doing 75%-90% khan stage 3 and try to hold that for a few weeks or month before moving to khan stage 4.