This art is so rich, and human. 
Wow thank you
I’m working on a project with the exact theme like here and hearing this makes me even more excited to give it time to bloom just right
The days are so fast
I know things will be okay
They are okay
Delayed gratification is the theme of the past few months. Maybe even a reimagining of my life as it is. As I could choose to live it. The things I could fully leave behind. To quit or minimize. The hobbies and passions I could leave for dead. For the sake of freedom in my day to day life. I sometimes feel a slave to some of my passions. I pursue every day but the process itself is long and boring. I just wish it to end. But I always start all over again. Next goal post. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t draw at all. It’s taking so much of my life away. The process… maybe I should just utilize ai fully. The only reason why I still draw is because I want people to see that value in what I make. If It’s made with ai, I feel like it would be undermined. But I dont personally care. I just… want to share the world behind it. To make it a little more real than just in my head. Strange desire.
I might take a long break after this project
Rest… focus on my shifting, go work out or just watch YouTube every day. Live as myself full time.
Gratitude is power
Feeling trapped and Enforced choice between survival and moral guilt
Sacrificing innocence for survival
Fear of abandonment and starving alone
Helplessness turned into violence
Fear of losing innocence and
goodness under pressure
Feeling of being trapped and controlled
trying to escape
Safety has a price and sometimes if may feel like even at our very own character
I am not proud. But I know I would have made every decision just the same if I had to do it all over again. While others tower and call themselves heroes I’ll lurk here knowing I’m just a piece of shit but ready to do whatever it takes. A heavier heart but we learn to live with it.
Like an animal rather than a human. Because we are desperate. Desperate for love, for life, for food, for safety. Clawing. Like animals. That’s all I am.
I often see myself compromised by that which I love. Because nothing else matters to me to that extend. If I lose that, I might as well end it all. No point in suffering through life if there is nothing to do it for. So better hold on.