Immortal he,
return…
to…
me
Cant fight these cravings in the night
Moonwalking feeling appetite
I could be up all night
but Im paralyzed when
the creature comes alive
I could be honest
I could be human
but I cant fight these
cravings in the night
moonwalking feeling appetite
Will the man become the monster
or the monster become a man?
The person on the right looks like a badass gunship helicopter pilot.
rant
Sometimes you’re the hammer
and sometimes you’re the nail to the hammer
It is what it is. No one is an exception.
I pissed someone off yesterday
I gave advice and they got on defense. I misread the entire situation. It was not what they were looking for nor what they were capable of taking and utilizing. I was going to go talk to them and tell them I’ll leave them alone from now on so they don’t completely hate me because it slightly bothered me but I stopped myself the moment I realized it and left it alone. It was an opportunity for me to strengthen my weak link - the fear of being hated and judged. I will let them to their peace and I will let them think whatever they want. With practice and some time, I will be free of this fear. It is easier to execute and exercise power that way. If I would give into the fear and constantly try to avoid such things, I would be a slave to it. Paralyzing effect in my life. And how am I to hold power if I bend to any person. None of that. Not here. I feel I had come a long way in this. The idea of being okay with being hated. Disliked. Looked down upon or misjudged. It gave me freedom to both act or walk away about my day. And really, you don’t have to like someone to bend your knee. When it comes to majority of people, I’d rather be disliked yet respected rather than living in conditioned life to be liked by my environment. I don’t want to please. Sometimes I will of course but all of it will be due to calculated efforts not out of fear. A choice I can make. And most people’s opinion of me doesn’t matter. I ain’t theirs.
I see how my past has affected how I assume others perception of me. Most of the time I assume people either don’t care or don’t like me. And if they do like me, it’s more in terms of respect than anything. Maybe they like a specific detail beyond my ability to predict.
But even here I feel like I am mostly hated. A delusion perhaps. I had seen Rv hint to me few times it may not be as true as I think. It’s probably not that way. But I’d still rather say I’m okay with such vision and assume less - maybe be slightly surprised later but if it doesn’t come, I didn’t lose anything. I’m okay if 99.9% of people here think I’m an annoying dumbass. It’s fine. I probably did things that would make me come off as that. But I am free. I have nothing to lose. I learnt to be happy alone. I learnt to smile while others yelled at me. Finally I am learning defiance. And life is sweet even in its lows, I had won.
Anyways my face has changed a lot over the past month on shifting. More pretty and symmetrical. I was even told I look majestic yesterday. A nice word. Definitely the style I’d lean into in terms of my ideals. It made me happy.
body
I also lost 4 additional kgs on hephaestus. Intentionally so. I was told it was quite an extreme kind of thing and that I should relax and not try to lose weight while actively running subs for muscle gain and fat loss. It kind of hit me. A good point. It was harder too than when losing weight before. Much longer process. Usually I’d lose that in a month or half a month but this time it took 3/4 months. That says something about how powerful this shifting is.
Also
- My body looks different
- My latteral muscles have started developing
- I’ve cut my hair shorter
- again facial symmetry improved
- I look nicer in photos and videos I take
- overall nicer facial features improvements
- more masculine body language
- healthy posture improvements
- I like my looks more
- I look slightly thinner and yet more muscular / beefier at the same time
- healthy frame
- shoulders wider than hips
I realize I like certain features more like hunter eyes, stronger well defined eyebrows. I’ll continue to train my jawline I think it’s about time to continue. Iva had guys flinch when I was standing up and saying they thought I was gonna hit them / beat them up. I am not mean to them - in fact I treat them well so I assume I just look tougher now.
This art is so rich, and human.
Wow thank you
I’m working on a project with the exact theme like here and hearing this makes me even more excited to give it time to bloom just right
The days are so fast
I know things will be okay
They are okay
Delayed gratification is the theme of the past few months. Maybe even a reimagining of my life as it is. As I could choose to live it. The things I could fully leave behind. To quit or minimize. The hobbies and passions I could leave for dead. For the sake of freedom in my day to day life. I sometimes feel a slave to some of my passions. I pursue every day but the process itself is long and boring. I just wish it to end. But I always start all over again. Next goal post. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t draw at all. It’s taking so much of my life away. The process… maybe I should just utilize ai fully. The only reason why I still draw is because I want people to see that value in what I make. If It’s made with ai, I feel like it would be undermined. But I dont personally care. I just… want to share the world behind it. To make it a little more real than just in my head. Strange desire.
I might take a long break after this project
Rest… focus on my shifting, go work out or just watch YouTube every day. Live as myself full time.
Gratitude is power
Feeling trapped and Enforced choice between survival and moral guilt
Sacrificing innocence for survival
Fear of abandonment and starving alone
Helplessness turned into violence
Fear of losing innocence and
goodness under pressure
Feeling of being trapped and controlled
trying to escape
Safety has a price and sometimes if may feel like even at our very own character
I am not proud. But I know I would have made every decision just the same if I had to do it all over again. While others tower and call themselves heroes I’ll lurk here knowing I’m just a piece of shit but ready to do whatever it takes. A heavier heart but we learn to live with it.
Like an animal rather than a human. Because we are desperate. Desperate for love, for life, for food, for safety. Clawing. Like animals. That’s all I am.
I often see myself compromised by that which I love. Because nothing else matters to me to that extend. If I lose that, I might as well end it all. No point in suffering through life if there is nothing to do it for. So better hold on.
Hanging heads
and blood for painting
a starry night
Can’t you see
the world is changing
Disintegrating
When the darkness comes
Will you come undone?
Do you think you’ll know
who you are?
Think you know someone
’Til the darkness comes
I’m adding New Godlike Masculinity
to my stack of :
Khan
17 cycles done
Shifting custom
- Helen of Troy core
- New Shifting Experience core
- Spartan core
- Heartsong core
At least 12 cycles in
and Wealth custom
- RICH core
- Genesis Mogul core
- New Result Enhancing Experience core
At least 12 cycles in
Khan 4 has been feeling really edgy and dark these last few cycles. More fun than ever to be honest. I feel like I’m running a momentum.
Your persistence is noteworthy and exemplary!
Thank you for posting your progress!
Thank you kindly
I am lucky to have access to these op awesome badass subs
I know there are other ways and I don’t know if forums bots will ever pick up on this message but once again I would like to request a subliminal for women that will help them lessen the pain they have during period time. I believe it will sell. I don’t want to use alternative devices. I want to buy a sub that does this. And if it ends up leading me to alternative devices down the road, great. I’m going to leave it here. It happens every month, it painful and tiresome time. If subliminalclub can make a sub for shifting, they should be able to do this too. I’d be happy to buy it. Many others would too.
Make it ultima if you need to. A quick few hour fix. Anything would be superb.
This is super great.
Us men are happy to buy this sub for another half.
Gentle Moons: Monthly Bliss