It was really hard to notice how KB1 is working. I engaged in some kind of body awareness meditation that includes the genitals and I noticed that energy went straight to my head and stayed there. I often had this feeling after watching porn. My head was really pulsating and getting hot ( and red ).
I have read that shame manifests itself in the body in this way.
After the meditation I had thoughts like:
“This was a bad idea. Don’t do it in again.”
“Wait until you get to xy days and you will feel better”
“You can’t go outside now. People will notice what you have done”
The Nofap things are very deeply anchored.
Then it clicked. The fact that I notice these thoughts alone is already a result of KB1.
And a big one in my opinion. Now I can learn how to deal with these thought. I can learn how to release them. I don’t now how but I will figure it out.
Another big realization was that even if you are shameful and low in energy you can still progress in life. You can work on your sexuality and still make money. That was always a big excuse I told myself. “You can’t be successful if you haven’t achieved xy days”. This also comes from the Nofap community.
So no need to isolate yourself any longer.
