I’ll add a custom to this stack after KB2.
Seeing real results from KB. To tired right now so will updating journal this weekend with more detail when I’m fresh. One change I didn’t notice until a lover pointed it out this morning. My personal style is shifting significantly and my level of groundedness and confidence is unreal.
More to comes soon.
KB1+EB
At the moment I have a lover who has known me a long time. We dated about 15 years ago and have been on again off again when we are both single. While during a text message exchange she mentioned I am sexier in conversations which makes her feel special. In the 15 years we’ve known each other I’ve never talked to her like that.
Also, 2 nights ago I was at a Russian club. You can tell the place is pretty mobbed up. During dinner there are a couple of live shows. Once of which was a pretty steamy burlesque performance by several women. One of the ladies present is someone I dated 10 years ago. Since then we’ve been very good friends w/o any kind of physical intimacy. She knows me really well. During the performance I was giving a bit of running commentary and she was almost on the floor laughing. I couldn’t figure out why.
In the car she looks at me and says " I never knew you could talk so dirty! I never heard you talk like that ever!"
In both of those instances I didn’t feel like was doing anything more than say commenting on a meal or the weather. It didn’t feel forced or awkward.
At the club when we were seated I’d normally sit off to the side. However this time I felt physically uncomfortable to the point where I had to change seats and sit in the middle where I could see better and be seen by everyone easily. Lots of acknowledgement from both women and a gentleman I never met went out of his way to acknowledge me. He obviously was head of the table next to us.
My style of dress is changing. For the evening out I wore studded smoking slippers, no socks, very snuck yet comfortable dress pants that had my date grabbing my d*ck because in her words “how can I not it’s right there” with a loose zip up shirt that was open to the sternum showing all kinds of chest.
For context I’m pretty tall, a little overweight with wild hair. You can’t miss me on my most conservative day. I’m already pretty confident but now it’s feels seriously amplified. In addition to that I feel this energy running through my body, that feels so tangible.
Final side effect, I’m already pretty social but this is next level. People just want to be around me more than before. I’m really curious to see what KB stage 4 is like.
Totally loving this combo.
@Sub.Zero also is on this combo. How do you feel about EB alone? What are your goals running it?
I’ve never run EB solo. The only reason I’m running it now is because it pairs well with KB.
The only goal is to run KB to level 4. From there I’ll focus primarily on 2-3 customs.
I will run EB at some point but I am scared to be honest 
It seems tougher than Emperor and Dragon Reborn combined.
Building up my personal power and its sense. I got some recon in the beginning but LD helped me resolve that, and I’m seeing myself growing internally rock solid day by day.
After some thought realize that I did run EB for a week or two solo. However at the time I really didn’t care for it. Having run Emperor consistently for over 2 years the “flavor” of EB was unfamiliar.
I thought about your question “what’s my goal”. Funny enough I’d say Freedom, it’s been in the name all along. The subs have helped me strip away a lot of bullsh*t desires that weren’t mind.
Khan Black st1 + Emperor Black + Khan st1
Some time ago when I ran Khan st1 it was rough. The 2nd time I felt on top of the world most days. I had an urge to combine both Khan, Khan Black and Emperor Black.
It’s like rocket fuel - here’s what happened:
Strategy and Planning
I took 3 hours to plan outcomes for the next several weeks. During the process if I could knock something out quickly I just got it done.
Women
Within a couple of days I had sex with 3 different women. I can sense a women’s energy like never before. Two of them I realize are not a good fit and shouldn’t have gotten involved with them in the first place. The 3rd is very feminine in a way that “feels” right for me. It way sound a bit weird and woo woo but I don’t know how else to describe it.
I notice women more, like I really see them. It’s so fcking glorious it almost brings me to tears while typing this. Their curves, hair, insecurities, their scent…it’s all so fcking intoxicating. I feel so lucky now to be a man and even luckier that these wonderful dynamic balls of beauty and energy even exist in this universe. It’s just fcking incredbile that they even exist. AND they want to fck us? I won’t waste another second pursuing a woman whose energy isn’t compatible with mine. Better to let the man she’s meant to connect bask in that amazing glory that is her essence. I’d just be cheating myself, cheating her, the man or men she is meant to be with and the women I’m meant to connect with.
When I look at women from afar they very quickly notice it. And now when I get turned on, I just want to leave bite marks on her ass, choke her, spit in her mouth, lick the sweat off her body and literally fck the insecurites out of her. And make sure she knows she’s fcking perfect right now as she is.
Diet and Exercise
I’ve been having serious digestive issues for several months. At some point I had a deep urge to go on a 36 hour fast. Totally cleared up a lot of the problems I was having. Loved it so much decided to keep testing it for the next several weeks. That is, fasting 36 hours 2-3 times per week. Found a better workout program that feels right for me. In the past I would shy away from really intense workouts. However now it feels like that’s what my body needs. More intensity not less. Also started eating cleaner than before.
Business
I had several different projects running, realized that’s what was actually holding me back. Killing off all but one and focusing serious energy along that channel. My new M.O. is lots of strategic thinking/planning on the front end and focused intensity in the execution. Which just feels right.
Body and Energy Awareness
I never realized how cut off I was from both my emotions and just being aware of my body. Now I can feel and breath from my balls. When slow my breathing I can the energy swirling initially in my body but now I can feel the energy a few millimeters outside my body - I mean physically feel it.
This is a fcking crazy stack. Have so much more I can add, but bartending for a bachelorette party tonight and ordered the stripper so need to be there before these guys show up. Will finish update in a day or two.
Sick update dude. Massive results in just a week.
I’m curious, any recon? and if so, how did you deal with it?
There was some very mild recon. Strangely enough that’s when I got the idea to fast which helped a lot. Also taking time out for a bit of deep breathing, meditation and feeling the energy in my body.
Later today I’ll start doing a modified version of the Middle Pillar Meditation and microcosmic orbit. Feel like those will really help manage the energy.
Khan Black st1 + Emperor Black + Khan st1 [Update Part 2]
These are some additional things I didn’t have time to write yesterday. Before I felt like I’d keep journals here to report and gather likes like the little attention whore that I am. Now it’s to really track my progress in a single location and look back to find my sticking points. If you’re reading this and spot what feels like bullshit please call me out on it.
Body and Energy Awareness
I forgot to mention yesterday something that’s been seriously noticeable is my body temperature. It feels like I’m generating a lot of heat. Way, way more than usual. Normally I get cold very easily. However I basically have to sleep with the AC on low. When I’m outside, although it’s summer in NYC my body temperature feels seriously higher. Sweat just pours off of me now. I couldn’t understand people who would always be hot even in the winter - now I do. On top of this my energy is off the charts.
Women
Before Khan Black I noticed my environment more. Now it seems there are so many damn women just frolicking and go about their business. I mean it’s ridiculous, they are EVERYWHERE. Tall women, short women, fat and skinny women, in every flavor and shade imaginable. And they are just vibing and doing their thing man. It doesn’t help that I’m consistently hornier than ever before. But I don’t feel the desire to masturbate. It’s like a resting level of horniness, I guess kind of like resting mean face, it’s just there.
Men
I’m not originally from the U.S. and am generally in ethnic neighborhoods. If find men from other countries seem to be a bit more curious about me. Not in a threatened way just…I don’t it’s a bit unusual. Feels like more men greet and/or acknowledge me on the street. With younger American men it feels like more of a challenge. Not so with the older ones. And of course this is a very, very broad generalization given that I live in a big city. Sometimes it’s easy to tell if someone if from here or not.
Another thing, in several instances guys see me and give me a wide lot of space to the point of avoiding walking closer to me. Same thing with panhandlers, I may notice someone looking while walking in my direction and it seems instinctively just avoid me. No idea what any of this is about. I don’t try to be or act “alpha” in anyway. Thankfully I’ve long grown out of all the chest thumping. Just seems - odd.
Emotional Work
Realize in so many ways I’ve been a little whiny when dealing with life challenges. I’m not as kind, thoughtful, generous or helpful as I once thought. And in several instances I’ve done things that were downright fck’d up no matter how you look at or try to justify it. There’s just a big stinking pile of emotional shit that needs to be flushed. I really not the person I thought I was or have pretended to be. It’s just embarrassing. For the first time it’s like I’m shining a light in all the dark corners and what I’ve found ain’t pretty. I’m not sure how to deal with things other than to move forward. Part of which is figuring out which tools can help me process a lot of this stuff.
Drive
My drive is off the charts to the point where I feel a bit uncomfortable and it scares me/makes me feel nervous. There is no way to bullshit myself about why I’m not hitting my targets. I’m putting 5-6 hours day into one project moving forward. Just typing that gives me butterflies but whatever. Can’t be complainging all my life blaming other people or situations for lack of success.
I made a lot of progress with Emperor, HoM and Stark. This is next level, even with those tools I realize I’ve been trying to play this game on easy mode. It’s time to apply myself, drop the emo b.s. and level up.
Fuck Yeah👊
Khan Black st2 + Emperor Black + Khan st2
Lot of new insights, keeping an audio journal and will write up condensed notes here I can refer back to in the future. Most notable thing, I’m filled with an immense amount of rage balanced with high levels of gratitude. Weird combo but I’m here for all it.
This is an interesting journal. Will keep an eye on it.
Khan Black st2 + Emperor Black + Khan st2
I’ve always had this bottomless pit of desire for sex. That would disappear when I was in a relationship. To the point I would just not be interested after seeing someone for a couple years. I never could understand why.
Until KB 2.
I remembered when at 4 I was molested by my aunt. She was in her late 20’s, early 30’s at the time. My dad walked in on us and just said “Hey Freedom, get off her. Come in the living room” and that was it. No one ever talked about it.
Maybe 10 minutes later a toy train set we spent hours putting together. I was obsessed with trains and loved this set. But for whatever reason I moved the track so it ran off the table and crashed. My father got insanely pissed and beat me. I can now pinpoint this as the exact moment my dad and I had a rift in our relationship.
My aunt being schizophrenic and I later discovered was off her meds at the time - I have no animosity towards. Come to think of it I finally let go of all the anger and animosity I had towards my father.
Later on at maybe 5 or 6 I had sex with a girl who was 9…or maybe slightly older. As a tween got into different sexual situations with another aunt but when in bed she realized I wasn’t into it and I was able to leave. Then in my earlier teens ended up in many sexual situations with my schizophrenic aunt.
It shocks me that I blocked all of this out.
In all of my relationships and dating it makes sense now why I was always so…just…cut off from my emotions. And had this endless hunger for sex. Over the years I’ve burned through so many women it’s insane. I can’t accurately say how many people I’ve had sex with. Now I can see I was literally like an animal. And probably the reason I don’t have children or stayed in relationships beyond that certain point.
KB 2 has really thrown me off balance and cleared a bunch of stuff out energetically. I’ve been a bit weird since starting this stage and desire for sex has been all over the place. Feels like I’m finding my true footing.
I have zero desire to masturbate but I masturbated 5 times. I couldn’t understand why but later realized I was figuring something out. All of the manifestation I mentioned on the main thread reminded me of what I’ve read about with sex magick. I now don’t need to physically do anything to manipulate and direct the energy. I’m feeling it all the time especially in my forehead.
The whole experience was weird because I didn’t have any sexual desire when doing masturbating. But instead was aware of the energy in my body.
Really interesting.
Level 2 feels like leg day, unpleasant but necessary. I have more things from my audio journal I’ll post this coming week.
Khan Black so far has had a positive impact in many ways.
The story about your father was really painful and shocked me bro. You were just 4 years old.
I wonder what is your country.
Can you tell me about your whole social experience on the stack?
How women respond to you? scared? approachable?
How outgoing and party animal are you on this stack?
How is your behavior with people overall? dominating but respectful? domination without necessarily respecting them?
Does it withdraw you from society?
Are you willing to help people on daily basis even if you know you won’t see them?
How are people responding to you in general?
Yeah, I’m happy to know where this anger came from. It’s totally gone now, I can look back at all the situations like watching a film but I’m not in my body. So just an observer. It’s not healthy but I miss the anger - it felt like a super power.
I’m from the West Indies - won’t say which island exactly because it’s unusual and I have a couple friends on the forum who don’t know this part of my story. I’d like to leave it that way at least for now.
I alluded to some of it in earlier posts. I’m pretty verbose so it’s like reading a damn Ted talk unfortunately:) I’m already highly social. Generally throw parties, organize events with friends and friends of friends. Curiously I’m a little less outgoing and spend more time planning and executing on goals. And just processing all the stuff that comes up.
I’ve always had a pretty approachable vibe. Now women seem a bit more curious in general. However I also as a practice/habit engage people in conversation everywhere. On the metro, while waiting in line somewhere so, women seem slightly more open to the interaction, less initial suspicion. Before the stack they’d be a little suspicious then after 2 or 3 minutes relax. Now they relax much sooner.
Being a bit of a big guy you learn to carry a relaxed posture and just vibe with people so they chill out. So that’s a habit.
Less than I am when not on this stack. Usually would have something going on every couple of weeks and have smaller groups of friends over 2-3 times a week. That’s dropped to friends over what feels like 1-2x month. And I don’t have anything big planned at the moment. And probably won’t for several months.
But I’m using the time and resources to focus on things that move the needle forward.
That’s a curious question. When you say dominating what do you mean? I ask because many people have a different idea of what that means. I generally replace the idea of dominance with aggression. When I think about it like that it’s easy to gauge what level of aggression is appropriate in an interaction that goes above my baseline. Because of my height and weight people already respond to me a certain way.
It balances me out - instead of all sex, parties and such I’m actively working on goals. Tonight meeting 2 people for dinner. Then a friend will drop by for drinks. Meanwhile I have a serious deadline at work tomorrow but I recognize now when to ease up and take a break.
Not sure what you mean by this, would you mind elaborating/adding some context? I volunteer pretty regularly. And my nature is if I can help someone quietly w/o any real loss to myself…meaning my needs are still met I’ll do. Is this in line with what you were asking?
Cautious curiosity for women - some men just randomly start conversations with me. However I notice they seem to be very comfortable/secure in themselves.
I really miss the rage though. However I understand why it’s no longer there. So now perhaps I’ll put energy into gratitude. I’ve given a lot of credit to KB however EB I think synergises really will and pulls up all those dark memories related to sex. Regular Khan kind of levels things out a bit. I wonder if whatever sub EB is paired with it goes to work in the shadow areas related to the subs theme.
One thing I forgot to mention is on KB 2, feels like the initial crazy results with women quieted down. Could also be because I’m more focused inward for processing.
And as a result I’m not looking outward for “results”. I’ve been turning down sex in the last week or so, just the idea of it is just…I don’t know I’m just not interested at the moment.
KB1 was wild with the attention I got from women and the sexual results. Since starting KB 2 it’s been seriously rough for me, no idea why. Right now I just feel emotionally raw, I’m randomly crying more often. For no reason, I’m not sad or anything just tears start to flow and like WTF?
Hopefully KB 3 is better.
I wake up feeling happier though. Last night I had friends over and I remember heading to the bathroom and at one point just looking in the mirror smiling and realizing I love myself.
It was weird. In the moment it didn’t feel like a big deal. Just like complimenting a women in the street or at bar. Notice > Acknowledge > Move on.
KB 2 is like ugh, but - can’t skip leg day.
Khan Black st2 + Emperor Black + Khan st2
Emotional Work
I’ve been carrying around an insanely deep level of sadness and didn’t even know it. I was able to fully access/experience it then just move forward emotionally. No idea how I did it but glad that’s over.
Once the Khan Black journey is over (is it ever really 
) I really feel Renaissance Man should be in my next stack - paired with Stark and RoM or RoD. When are they gonna drop Stark Black man, that would be totally epic.
I’m thinking about my life in terms of the Hero’s Journey. A couple years ago I thought I was well into the initiation process in the Ordeal stage. In reality…I never even left The Ordinary World.
One of the most difficult things has been seeing myself as I really am, seriously sobering. I have so much work to do. But I’m learning to truly enjoy the process no matter how messy or tedious knowing all the effort is moving me to the next stage. Feels good.
Resolving sexual conflict/issues has had many benefits. I really am learning to balancing giving myself grace and a still kick in the…bum (trying to stay within the campfire policy) when needed. My need to have a strong spiritual practice is at an all time high. I’ve been wanting to learn RV for a long time but always stopped when my intuition was off the charts. Started the Probable Future AVARI course again today. The exercises always give me this peace. Like when as a kid, I’d stand on the beach and squeal when the waves rolled in…knowing they’d be another but it was ok, big or small it was still good.
The memory reminded me this is the view to hold in my day-to-day, especially dealing with problems or challenges.
Women
Bruh…woman have never been this sexy. I’ve been having more former lovers reach out. My ex-wife and I are get along better. An ex-girlfriend invited me to her birthday party yesterday. Dear God, the level of sexiness floating around was outrageous. I was the only man invited to the party. Before this stack I’ve be walking around full chub. Last night I could feel this smoldering energy in my balls and stomach - no chubb. Generally there are certain personalities that annoy the hell out of me. But last night I realized that instead of being annoyed by 2 of the women I was genuinely curious about them, their life, their perspective ect, instead of having this “God I can’t stand this person” attitude. Also, I was able to interact with each woman in a way that was visibly pleasurable for her and she enjoyed. Before this stack I might have gotten on “ok” on a surface level with all 12-15 women and would have ran around trying to have a convo with everyone in an effort to see who was single. Also several of the women were dancing very, very suggestively. Instead of breaking my neck to check it out as I would before in the moment I just glanced to see what what was happening but continued convo with whoever I was speaking with. It felt like being a kid and the little girls teasing me. I know they were having fun with it and I played along and let them have it.
Overall they really opened up and shared a lot without me plying them with questions. Feedback the next day was I made quite an impression. One of the ladies kept trying to get me to hit on some of the other women - it just felt like work though and I was there to have a good time.
Really enjoying this shift - more to come.
Moving on to Khan Black st 3 + Emperor Black + Khan st2.