I finished another book on pornography. It’s called The Porn Pandemic. I did not skim through this time. I really enjoyed reading. It was less of scientific explanations with long biological, chemical terms. It was straight, simple, and only 68 pages book. What’s the most important thing is, this book just opened my eyes.
From what I have read on this this, it is possible that many of my current issues are deeply related to porn-masturbation addiction. For example, being a complete failure with women, being in the friend-zone of female mates, social anxiety, sexual insecurities, introvert nature (maybe), lack of motivation, lack of energy, lack of creativity, depression, ADHD (maybe), beta male behaviours etc etc many others. Porn can be a possible deep rooted problem as I have this addiction for over 5 years now. I was different in my childhood. I was very creative. I used to sing, draw passionately. I was very social as well.
Let’s explain a bit how porn can damage many areas of our lives. As I am watching porn, and masturbating, my brain cannot differentiate between porn and real sex. It releases dopamine. Now, my brain thinks I am having sex, and my sex life is good. So my brain does not create any motivation, drive to attract women, make them interested. This idea was eye opening for me. Another one is, I don’t make eye contact with people, women. I remember when I talk with class-mates, my eye kind of look at their face, and kind of at their breasts! Porn has wired my brain to only focus on the exciting parts of women (breasts, vagina, ass etc). So in real world interaction, my eyes automatically looks there.
The writer said all of these can be reverted to their natural, manly form by stopping porn. I will try my best to overcome the urge, and cut it out. I will see what happens. Anyway, Ascension, and Rebirth is working well. I have simply stopped interacting with my previous friends. I had 2 best friends, who are very energy draining, toxic for me. They, (and I used to) talk about women all the time, body parts of the women (again, wired by porn, in today’s world, we judge a woman only by their breast, ass size, curve etc. and not by emotions, characteristics). They don’t have any clear goals for future, their background is richer than me, depend on parents, careless about these goal things. My parents are well enough to run me, but I don’t wanna depend on them. I wanna do something now to get financially free. I am learning some skills for online business. Anyway, I am cutting them off from my life. It will be tough to ignore them for first few days, but I will adapt. My life, goals, missions come first. I will sacrifice anything toxic to reach my goals. I think Rebirth is working well here.
For Ascension, I noticed cool stuffs to. I did not procrastinate today. I found reasons to skip, but motivation was higher, and I completed my works. I have a perfectionist mindset. It didn’t work there as well. I look into mirror more, I feel sexy. I got my hair cut yesterday. And the important thing is, I used to cut my hair at daytime normally. But as I was looking in the mirror more (I don’t know why), I felt I need to change my style a bit. I felt that at 5 pm, finished my work, and went to barbers shop at 7.30 pm, got my hair cut. I ironed my shirts, pant as I had class in the morning today. It’s the beginning of a new semester in university.
I study Architecture. I selected the subject by pure luck. My parents demanded me to get a degree from university (It is trend in our country to get university degree, people think without them you are helpless! Not true). I wanted to start some business, but parents didn’t allow. Anyway, now I am stuck with this subject. 3 more years to go! I am already struggling with it. Architecture demands lots of creativity. I am struggling with creativity. Great things are not coming out of my mind (or even if they are good design, my teachers are not appreciating them, which lead to low-confidence for me). Sometimes I wonder how modern teachers destroy creativity of children. I am not talking about me. Let’s say, my younger brother did not do well in math exam, and his teachers are telling he’s not attentive, he is bad at math. This idea will be his “Limiting Belief” for many years maybe, which will lead to fear of math.
I was thinking of adding “Beyond Limitless” creativity supercharger to my stack list, although it would be a little dense. Again, I think my alpha version is more important than doing good design, getting good grades in university. So, I will continue with my current stack of Ascension, and Rebirth.
Little bit about my future plan-
Ascension, Rebirth, Limit Destroyer
Ascension, Godlike Masculinity