Introversion vs coping/trauma

Questions and Comments
#1

What are you guys experience with this? I’m starting to think introversion is some form of coping mechanism because of social anxiety, overthinking, trauma etc. A protective shell that is draining, hence introversion fatigue.

Not trying to minimise anyone’s experience, but I’m talking about my experience and life. Trying to understand this phenomenon in my life.

I’m curious if anyone transformed themselves away from this ”limit”. Did you notice after a while of personal development that ”ohh wait, I’m not actually introverted”? Or did you realise it’s not changeable?

PS: I’ve seen so many ways I’ve limited myself in life and seen others and myself overcome these and realised it was just limiting beliefs. Mindset can both make you or break you, which is why I’m thinking it’s something that can be overcome.

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#2

I think what you describe by introversion is a sociophobia

#3

I am a HARD introvert. You’d never know it if you saw me working a crowd. For me, the distinction is clear: do you become drained from interacting with people, or do you become energetic?

After a day of socializing, you might be lucky if you hear from me a week later. I don’t think we need to really delve too much into it, or even create scripting to mitigate it. Instead, just honor your natural cycles of interaction and accept it.

Yes – if I were an extrovert, I would probably see more success in life. However, I also recognize that much of my best ideas occur when I retreat into solitude and contemplate the interactions I have. So, what would happen if I did try to “fix” this (not saying you’re asking about scripting, just opining from my perspective as a producer) rather than simply honoring the fact that I find my own mind highly interesting and can spend large amount of times contemplating.

Not saying this is fact, just food for thought.

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#4

I agree with this. It’s always better to use your personal strengths and “limits” to your advantage, rather than trying to break yourself and re-learn everything from scratch, all while being unhappy and getting subpar results

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#5

Yes, I understand that it might not be something changeable and I just need to work with it instead of against it. When I tell people I’m an introvert, they get shocked. So I started to think I’m just putting myself in a box perhaps.

Depending on the people, I feel like I get more energy with some, where I can party all night and with some less. I don’t know, I think I need to explore it more to fully understand how it works for me. Because sometimes I think it’s social anxiety or being bored, etc. I’m also open to the fact that perhaps this is introversion, it’s just not clear to me. Leaning towards introversion though

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#6

From my experience I’d argue that a lot of “introversion” may be simply the individual recognizing how little many people actually add to their life, and chosing not to participate in low roi environments.

But even with great people around I still need freedom to just leave at a moments notice if required or desired, this applies tripple when going through strong transformations.

But I assume that’s normal the more “specialized” ones path is, whether professionally, personally/spiritually.

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#7

I’m an introvert and I have people with whom I gain energy, but even then, I can’t really meet them daily just because I crave some alone-time as well

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#8

Definite homebody introvert here. I don’t see it as a weakness or whatever I guess. If I sociaize too much, I find myself withdrawing energetically and not talking Feel like a turtle trying to pull inside my shell totally.

I’m most at home (lol) reading or tinkering in my “lab”.

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#9

I have.

Used to be seriously anxious in social situations as a kid—Got so bad that I actually had a medical exemption from doing presentations in class. It took years of steady effort (Lots of failing along the way) to get comfortable socially, but honestly, I’d go through it all again. These days, I’ve got a bunch of amazing friends and unforgettable experiences under my belt that I wouldn’t had otherwise.

That said, I’m still pretty introverted at heart. I enjoy solitude. It lets me reflect, recharge and reconnect with myself. And going into ‘monk mode’ helps me deal with social burnout.

#10

When you are more healed you will certainly start to know.

#11
introversion/extraversion is it a coping mecanism

Introversion isn’t a coping mechanism, it’s a real thing.

There is (1) your natural, biological temperament and personality traits that you got from genetics and early neurodevelopment), and (2) trauma-driven behavior. Humans are primates, so we definitely have those biological markers. It’s the same reason why puppies have different temperaments and baseline stimulation requirements depending on their breed.

Imagine that you have a dog whose natural temperament is curiosity and openness. They end up with an abusive owner who brutally beats them regularly. Now the dog is afraid of humans on a deep level, and their nervous system is literally conditioned to avoid humans as a way to keep them safe. If you were to see this dog in an animal shelter, you would think “oh, this dog is shy and timid around humans, that must be their personality”. Are they shy and timid, or are they simply traumatized out of their mind?

This is the flaw in mainstream introversion/extraversion theory - they conflate the two. The evidence for this, are the countless introversion/extraversion tests on the internet that use fear-based questions as determinants. For example: “Do you perform more poorly when people are watching you?”, which indicates fear-driven behavior (fear of being judged). And if you pick strongly agree, then they push you more towards the spectrum of introversion. Here is where it gets interesting, lol. Most people think that the conflation only applies to introversion, when it’s equally as present in extroversion. For example: fear of being alone, talking a lot as a way to cope with anxiety, fear of facing negative thoughts and emotions that surface during isolation, etc.

So it really comes down to the question “what is really the driver behind these behaviors and tendencies”. If it’s driven by any type of fear, then it’s not your “true self” or whatever you want to call it. Take away all of the fears from the equation, and where you naturally align with is going to be your real personality archetype. This also applies to general purpose. “If you had no fears or negative conditioning holding you back - what would you be doing?”.

Here is something to consider. Look at the state of society where most people are living in survival mode and addiction (emotional avoidance) in various forms. Working jobs that they hate, constantly wearing a mask to please others, and basing their whole life on validating external expectations whether it’s from society or family. There’s not a lot people who are actually living for themselves. Most people are living a lie. If someone is living a lie, then any analysis of their life whether behavioral or perceptual - is also a lie. “You’re an introvert based on your life, which is 90% a lie.” Realistically though, it’s less likely for someone to swing to opposite spectrum. The best bet (meaning the safest plausibility) is that someone who identifies as introvert or extrovert, does in fact naturally have an inclination towards that, but it’s exaggerated on by the coping mechanisms, trauma, fears, etc. You can actually see this commonly occur, where an extrovert will tone down their extraversion throughout self-development - however they are still an extrovert (leaning towards that side of the spectrum), and vice versa. That being said, a “180 swing” can absolutely happen if the person is that boggled down by fear, trauma, lies, and conditioning.

I did 1 year of Khan + Stark, and my extraversion my went off the stratosphere, lol. Pre 20’s I was shy, and unexpressive. There’s usually no point in overthinking these things because as long as you keep growing while staying aligned, everything will work itself out.

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#12

Great points, I’m not going to sweat it. Thanks for sharing.

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