I just had to share this

Questions and Comments
#21

I run KHAN S4 for the whole month of August and this is for me the best of what happened…

There’s no more monsters under my bed nor in the closet, i looked in the mirror and realized that “I am the fucking Monster.”

I’ve met my Shadow, and he told me… You need me, because you don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be, You need Me… I am everything the world rejects about you… Say Hello To The Reallest Motherfucker You’ll Ever MEET IN YOUR LIFE, MY NAME IS YOU!!! And I Ain’t Going Nowhere! All the things that i used to hide because of shame and guilt, i am in the proccess of embracing them all, even though it’s too much and it hurts like a motherfucker to admit all this bullshit about me… I used to lie to avoid confrontation, a real people pleaser. Not anymore. I used to lie to myself, now that just seems impossible to accomplish. I’ve tried, but failed! I either speak the truth and the whole truth, or i keep my mouth shut, next question. Ohh btw, i fucking hate being questioned now…

My energy, my vibe, my aura, whatever you wanna call it, went full BANE BERSERK!

I didn’t even know that i knew the lines of the movie, i just found myself saying:

Oohhhhh… You think darkness is your ally…
But you merely adopted the dark, I WAS BORN IN IT, MOLDED BY IT!
I didn’t get to see the light until i was already a man, but by then
IT was nothing to me but, BLINDING!!!

The Shadows Betray you, Because They BELONG TO ME!!!

This is how i felt, DaRK and Dangerous. I had to stop it tho, i was feeling like… The Devil is my man now… Fuck getting on my knees, Fuck praying, Fuck waiting, FUCK ALL THIS SHIT!
GIVE ME MINE, OR ELSE, THERE WILL BE… V.I.O.LINS PLAYING AROUND THIS BITCH!

I am from AFRICA, The Deep South!
Keep your judgements to yourselves, gentlemen.

One more thing: I’m running EoG now to get my money up, and i was wondering if it’s possible to have a custom made Iron Throne?

#You’re hustling backwards if you chasing a bitch, stupid!
#Chase the paper, they come with this shit…
#Rider Music - 50 Cent

5 Likes
#22

I love it, I love it!

Running AscMog at the moment but afterwards, cannot decide between Primal, PS or Khan. Your testimonials have me thinking…

“Forget chasing women, get the coin instead” Absolutely.

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#23

I think this is what the “explorer”-thing is for

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#24

Congrats dude

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#25

Thanks, Brothers!!!

One thing tho: if you’re running this subs, KNOW this: there will be pain involved… I don’t think there’s a way around it! Take it like a man or just leave/live a pussy!

Welcome to your Spiritual Bootcamp!

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#26

There was a part of me, that just wouldn’t allow me to go all the way into making money and create wealth… it was an obsession with women, like i got to have them no matter what!!! Without them, i am nothing… so i would end up sabotaging myself just to have them… until, i run Iron Throne & all that shit just fell off…

I feel relief from this burden!

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#27

This subs keep manifesting my fears man… right in my face…

So, i decided to run Sex Mastery X2 just to see what would come up… and this happened!

To make a long story, short!!!

For a long time, i’ve had this fear: a woman telling me that i am not BIG enough for her…and just laughing in my face… And it happened… I’ve met a girl at the beach, we talked, i got so hard, told her i want you now, she asked: here? I said: NO, in my car; she said: let’s go. We inside the car, i’m driving around town, she’s really quiet, i’m really hard, so i pull the D out and tell her to come and suck it… she looks around scare, but excited at the same time, agrees and starts sucking me off real good… I’m enjoying it… all of a sudden, she just stops, with my D on her hand, really close to her face, looks me in the eyes and says: for big guy like you, you have a small penis…!

I didn’t know what to think…or feel…or do… All this happened soo fast!
I had no reaction, at all…

I lived this fear so many times in my mind, and i just would see myself, losing the erection, reacting violently against the girl, even crying…ashamed! But, i was so hard that i couldn’t believe how tall my D was standing…throbbing, all wet and shiny, so close to her little mouth, so i gently lay my right hand on her head and guide her back to sucking…and she completely deepthroats my shit… and just sucks and sucks until i melt in her mouth… i am really proud of myself.

That’s it, man! No moral of the story, nothing…

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#28

Whats the point of sharing this?

1 Like
#29

Loool …exactly

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#30

worry not @rising, if you can’t see it, then it’s not meant for you. :sunglasses:

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#31

Confronting a psychological fear in real life. In graphic detail :smile:

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#32
  • Forgive me father, for i have sinned…
  • When was your last confession?
  • This is my first!

I am a beta male at heart. I was raised to be one.
This is at the very core of my being, my subconscious mind/inner child.
I was raised by a single mother to be the man of the house. To be her little husband, her prince charming and do exactly as i was told. The messages that i received as growing up were: you owe mommy, i gave you life; You must sacrifice yourself for mommy, you have to kill and destroy to protect mommy against every single bad man out there, because all men are bad, your father included, and that’s where you come from. You are bad for being a man. All men are children. All men are stupid. And if you want mommy’s love, you must betray yourself, hate man, hate your father, hate your own source.

You are here to please, serve, obey and whorship mommy, mommy knows best, mommy is superior, you are inferior, i gave you life, I carried you inside for nine months, i have power over your life, i can curse you, i can bless you, you better respect/FEAR mommy, because when mommy speaks, GOD himself obeys mommy and will make you pay, just look at your little bible… Mommy is GOD, Daddy is the Devil. I made you. You belong to me. You will never amount to anything if I don’t say so… Raised to fail. To fear women. To whorship them.
All this was done to my inner child, and now as a grown man “whatever that means”, i’m still fighting this child programming/conditioning… This child doesn’t want to let mommy go…doesn’t want to cut ties, doesn’t want to allow me to sever the etheric connection… This child is fighting me, because it doesn’t want to let me kill mommy… And mommy gotta die… inside… so we can live…

My war is not with the females of the world, is with my own mother, i have dealt with every single symptom, and i believe i have reached the source of all my problems… the woman that gave birth to me. She is a master hypnotist, a spellcaster, a real witch…And all this was done to a child, me. What did i do to deserve this? I don’t know! All i know is that i hate this woman, the more i get to know and understand my self and everything that i was put through because she hated men, hated her own father, hated my father, and because i look just like him, then, i must pay…for all she went through with men… Fuck… It’s just too much…

I am running Emperor V3, and somehow i just can’t obey and bow down anymore, to nothing and nobody. I get mad when i do it. Lack of awareness, i guess.
Kill or Be Killed. Cops bleed too. Cops fear death too. Cops are humans too…
You got guns… I’ll get a couple too… I guess it’s all about money anyway…

If everybody has the right to be and express themselves, why should i be the one keeping my mouth shut? For What? Who am i trying to please? Mommy!!! I must protect mommy’s reputation! Why do i have this need to having people agreeing with me? Can’t i just stand alone? Middle finger to the world? Why this fear of confrontation? Why be scared shitless of beautiful women? Why be afraid to fight? I didn’t want to fight, I didn’t want to hurt nobody… but they pushed me… I’m running out of friends now… Why all this doubt and confusion?
I DEMAND THE WHOLE TRUTH FROM THE UNIVERSE. I want the truth and nothing else. No more lies, i’m tired.

PS: This is not me playing the blame/victim game. I am not innocent. But the child was.

Vendetta. Vendetta. Vendetta. But against who? or what even?
Laaaaaa Laaaaaa Laaaaaaraaaaaa, Wait till i get my money right! - Kanye West.

8 Likes
#33

I hope you are not actually seeking to do harm to somebody.
But from what I have read you said that your inner problems with women dissolved. I still have Iron Throne and your posts really inspired me so can you elaborate a little bit on this? I am really curious.

2 Likes
#35

If you stop playing the subs for a while it is as if you revert to your previous programming… that’s when I understood the base program running in my own subconscious… i have no problems with women, I simply identified the root of why i am the way i am.

4 Likes
#36

You don’t know my mother. And some things will never change.

Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved.

I am conscious enough to know that what goes around comes around… this is why i am choosing to release and let her go and save myself instead… otherwise, she’ll drag me to hell with her and all my family that treats her as if she is god almighty!!!

I choose Me.

3 Likes
#37

Thank you, was looking for a phrase that explained the subtle tie boys have with overpowering mothers.

And I completely understand where you’re coming from. We have the societal edict from above that states " all mothers are holy" and can’t ever do wrong ever. Unfortunately, there are mothers out there that actively stop the child growing up through emasculating, endless criticism and to be her little boy forever that won’t ever leave her, because "she brought you into the world, and she can take you out". There is no male influence around to mediate the childs upbringing.

People might be taken aback by the violent words, but I see it as a response and a natural reaction by a child from his environment, being dominated by someone who he relied on for his very existence.

The overwhelming good thing is you recognise it and have the tools at hand to choose a healthier path, one that suits you, not somebody else. Go for it, brother.

5 Likes
#38

Although I am very much confused and more than a bit troubled by your language, I will assume that most of it is emotional catharsis meant to describe your process.

I’m going to be more vulnerable than I have been in a long time. Call it the comfort of strangers and all…

Having grown up with an overly protective chain-smoking alcoholic mother whose only joy in life was to take that joy from others, using any weapons at her disposal including easily manipulated children, leading these children to become emotionally and psychologically scarred for life, I can tell you that the best thing I have done in my life was to actually forgive her for all the wrongdoings in the past.

In doing so, I was able to close that chapter of my life, letting go of all the energetic attachments I had made to that horrid creature and taking the power away from memories of her dragging me down the stairs by my hair. And worse.

After that, I simply chose never again to let her be part of my life. I survived homeless on the streets for a while, eventually moved away, and as much as I regret never knowing or being able to rescue the little brother and sister that stayed behind, it allowed me to finally heal. It’s a journey I’m still on.

If you need to let go, as crazy as it may sound, just forgive all the harm done to you in the past and forge a new path ahead. If she’s anything like mine, it’ll drive her up the wall in frustration and you will never have to think of her again.

Just make sure that your future girlfriends know not to try and reunite the two of you because they think everybody deserves to know their parents.

How do you think you will sever those ties? Do you think you’ll be able to slam the door on them, cut them with something sharp? I say it can be a very Emperor-like thing to look it straight in the eye, say “I forgive you for all that you have done to destroy my innocence in the past. Now get out my life, you are toxic and I refuse to let you control my future.”

And then just walk away…

Whether you do that to a living person or a living memory, I think it’s very powerful.

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#39

Very powerful. Thank you for sharing.
When I read this it made me feel … it reminded me of myself and I think everyone of us knows someone who did something that hurt us. In turn, I also know many scenarios where I did something to someone I deeply regret. But hey, I was stupid at that moment. And that I think may be the next step.

  1. Settle things in your heart, feel the emotions that need to be felt
  2. Let go and live your life
  3. Acknowledge that we are all creatures that know very well how to harm one another and that we all did and in the end we all want forgiveness and happiness. This theme you are struggling right now with may very well be the one to teach you a very important lesson that lets you grow and evolve like noone else around you.
  4. Be a teacher and help others by sharing what you experienced
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#40

Thanks for sharing.

1 Like
#41

I think that’s what Power sub is going to be more about where one can actually see pattern the way we are being controlled and manipulated be it world out there or immediate family members.

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