Envy is coveting something you’ve never had, jealousy is coveting something you’ve had but no longer have.
When I get these feelings, I first identify it as one of the two.
If it’s envy, I ask myself what I would need to do to get it then. Not take it from someone, but get it for myself as well. After all, I have to maintain belief in abundance, there is enough for everybody, including me.
Either I get an answer that is something I can actually do, or I get an answer that brings up a lot of annoying reasons why I shouldn’t even try.
For example, I see somebody walking around with a model on his arm, I ask myself how can I have a model as a girlfriend also? The answer is simple, work on my dating and seduction skills. Become social or successful enough that we hang out in the same places.
That triggers a bunch of anxiety, resistance and fears concerning rejection, hard work and reasons why models are far too high maintenance and the feeling of envy is gone. I weaponize my own fears and insecurities against the envy and it is defeated.
Obviously I would prefer taking action and getting myself a Vicky’s Secret Angel, but either way the envy is gone. Problem solved.
As for jealousy, it’s a bit tougher.
I had it, now I lost it. I need to accept it and move on. Do better next time. Learn from it. Tell myself that there is something much better out there for me and the reason I lost the old thing is so I can pursue the newer better thing. Whatever I need to tell myself to accept and move forward instead of getting stuck in the past.
I find the most powerful argument usually is that there is something even better out there for me, so why should I be content with anything less? Why be jealous of something when I can do better?
(Obviously don’t ask those exact questions or your subconscious will tell you exactly why you should )
In the end, this will happen, and you will need to consciously move your thoughts towards something more productive.
In most cases, I just accept the situation for what it is. Envy I can do something about if I wanted, with jealousy either I work on myself and whatever it was gets drawn back to me (if I still want it then) or I just move on. This too shall pass. Never get stuck in the past.
What’s that concept anyway, stoicism?
This was another DarkPhilosopher blog post in the SubClub Insider.