Hold on, let me overthink this

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#109

The north node thing in part 2, however, was something I hadn’t explored. So I stumbled upon this site to go into a bit more detail. A hell of a lot of my frustrations made sense if this node stuff holds true. It also talks about the south node and what you’re trying to move away from even though it’s most familiar.

My north node is in the fourth house and Leo which seem to lead me towards focusing on myself and stepping into the spotlight, both of which I’ve been reluctant to do in the past. If moving towards these things is supposed to make it easier then you might as well give it a shot. Finding out what I actually want to focus on vs simply doing it for recognition or because it would make someone else happy is a thing I should work on.

The audio states the north node in the fourth house is:

Don’t focus on others
Get your own house in order
You might have had authority in your past life and assuming you should have the same again will frustrate you
Be aware of your motive
Don’t do things for recognition
Focus on family (whatever your definition ) + emotional maturity

And that north node Leo is:
Creating a life for yourself
Realizing your own desires
Friendships may disappoint at critical moments
Create for yourself
Capable of great achievements
King, royalty, spotlight
Embrace fame wealth luxury

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#110

Your cafeastrology report should also contain a small section on North Node, with Qualities you need to work on.

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#111

It does. I wanted more detail:

True North Node in Leo

She can be a friend to many but may stumble a little when things get too personal. Her path is to embrace her individuality and to allow herself to be the center of attention or to strike out on a unique creative path. She is learning to be more personal and less intellectual when expressing her feelings. Qualities to develop: Intimacy, sharing, self- expression.

North Node in IV: North Node in the Fourth House

Her path is to allow herself to be vulnerable, and from time to time, release the need to feel in control and on top of things. Once she does let others in, her life improves. Fixing her home life can enhance her career. Qualities to develop: nurturing and trust, tenderness, willingness to be vulnerable or to accept support

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#112

Rabbit hole of the moment: still north node stuff as it’s novel to me.

This site combined the house with the sign of the north node:

Not sure if I’ll listen to anything today. Maybe sanguine. I should play around with the modules in my first custom as some of them repeat in the third (was just waiting for the pack to drop). I’ll probably free up some space and hold as there are some modules I want that haven’t come out yet. I supposed it depends on how long between releases. The longer I wait to switch the less I have to thread my money custom into all the others.

The end of my dream last night had dead mice behind “my” fridge but instead of being right next to the sink in my actual kitchen it was next to the bottom of a staircase painted in deep, faded red with obvious hole where they could have entered from and the dust of ages peeking out from one of the larger holes.
There was a voice in my head during another scene telling me I knew who they were. They sounded a little like a coworker but I brushed it off. Forgot the rest of it, but there was some sort of resistance against a crazed person wrecking havoc in a sanctuary.

I also glanced at a chat convo but my last cat (name was in the chat and I “knew” it was supposed to be him) stuck a reply in the middle of it like n(owo)n and that startled me awake.

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#113

Your Mars in Virgo in the Fourth House suggests that you are/would be passionate and motivated about organizing/administering/refining a home or a homelike environment. In light of your interest in energy healing, that could also include a healing space like a spa or a retreat center. And many other possibilities as well.

Venus in Cancer in the Second House also makes me think of an upscale healing retreat. The second house suggests an opulent or sensually pleasing space in which you are nurturing or caring for other beings (people, animals, plants?)

Finally, the North Node in Leo back in the Fourth House again. You embrace the spotlight and your personal delightfulness/joy as the center of attention in a context devoted to care and nurture. I don’t remember it so clearly right now but it intuitively reminds me of the mother in The World According to Garp.

Lots of Fourth House/Cancer stuff going on (it shows up in all three elements) but it also sounds like you’d have your own unique take on that and what it would mean for you.

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#114

Current proposed changes to first custom:

  • -Debt Annihilator, Dominion, Sultan
  • +Asclepius, Apollon, Ultimate Writer
  • Keep Terminus strength

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I’ve got it sitting in my cart.

Help me get these down to 20 total (q store)
#115

Thanks, I think I definitely have to expand the idea of what “home” can mean. Traditional homemaker ain’t happening. Though I’ve always said I’d make a great grandmother. :joy:

I do wonder what a retreat/escape can look like post covid. I’ve always pondered creating something: sanctuary/cafe/spa that centered around at least one of my interests: amazing food, sumptuous experiences, face and body treatments, divine feminine empowerment, the nurturing/protection of BIPOC, and serenity whatever form it might take.

The in person market is very saturated and current uncertainty probably rules it out. Since I’ve built online presences for many I could probably do something if I get past the part of putting myself out in the wild, so to speak.

I am a joining of intensely private and over sharing personal experience. Like telling my story is just that, a story. It doesn’t reflect upon me, but did shape me into who I am today.

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#116

The best resource I’ve found on the Nodes is the Jan Spiller book “Astrology for the Soul”.
Following are Hannah Elsewhere’s videos that use it as reference.

The book is even better if you choose to get your hands on it. :+1:t2:

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#117

Got the book (kindle). it’s currently reading me for filth. Thanks for the recommendation.

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#118

Didn’t get much sleep as I stayed up reading fluffy novels with happy endings. Drifted into dreams of water reflecting on cavern walls. I was helping someone… the setting’s already left me.

Listened to maia x3 yesterday instead of the sanguine. Trying to judge whether I replace it now or later with the newest combo I posted. I think, just for the writing and self healing, I might have to.

I did.

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#119

Updated sub arrived faster than I thought it would. So I’m currently listening to maia II on loop. The sun is shining brightly outside in joyful contrast to the thunderstorm in the wee hours of the morning.

I did a little bit of checking in at work behind the scenes, but the rest of my day is up to me. Will probably go get some groceries and walk around once the sun is no longer at its peak intensity.

Digging back into the Hands of Light book. I also ordered The Lunar Nodes: Your Key to Excellent Chart Interpretation

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#120

Great grandmother or great-grandmother?

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#121

Grandmother or godmother or the cool auntie. Once removed from kids, bake for them, spoil them then get them back to their parents. Just skip right over the having kids step. :joy:

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#122

Cool aunties are priceless.

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#123

Hands of light starts off dense. Dredging up every bit of college physics from the dusty reaches of my brain as it goes from Newtonian theory to morphogenetic fields. I’m glad I have the physical copy because the few full color figures that do exist are pretty and somewhat detailed.

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Brennan, though she was born quite intuitive, started her journey firmly planted in physics before picking up other things. Her depth of study is impressive. She stresses the amount of study she feels necessary to truly practice and that seems daunting.

I should be able to finish the whole thing today, but I find myself staring off into space a bit at parts.

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#124

Which book is this? This seems interesting!

#125

Great links, thanks

I was a healer in a past life and if I didn’t get things perfectly right the first time, people died.
So hypervigilance, perfectionism, and needing to get it right are default.
My north node Pisces involves letting go of perfectionism, that’s why I try not to think to much before posting :joy:
just practicing my spiritual path

@mnemosyne

Hands of Light is awesome, I’ll be going to a energy medicine school of a student of that author.
I believe learning and applying it could really support subliminal goals and effectiveness.

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#126

Hands of Light - Barbara Brennan

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#127

Light Emerging is the next step.

#128

Bought a cheapo pair of sleeping headphones because the Bose NC 700 get uncomfortable and the Sennheiser has a cord that I end up wrapping around when I turn over. That was a waste of money. I woke up in the middle of the night with them mostly out of my ear so I could hear the masked track on my sleepy time sub playlist but the music I was playing alongside was lost.

I just don’t want to buy the sound sport or 20s just to use for sleeping if I have all these other things for the day.

Dreams are mostly forgotten but I do distinctly remember telling someone I made macaroni and cheese in a context where it probably related to Cardi’s line in WAP. :woman_shrugging:

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Logged into OKCupid after [interesting name] likes you! came up as a push notification and was like “who the f is named [name]?” I was greeted (not the first time) by the whole list of people I painstakingly said “no” to over the years showing up as “new.” (You can’t just swipe left in A list, you have to click in and select x, it’s still not as bad as Happn where if you say no in your timeline you have to click into the profile, click show them again on your timeline and then select x from the profile in your likes page).

Each time this happens I wonder what the point of paying for a-list is if it can’t even remember my choices. Sometimes it will do this for intros too. if you write an intro it’ll still try to show it in that tab after someone has said no to you on likes. Ain’t nobody got time to go through all of them again.

I haven’t looked at it in weeks and it’s on some nonsense again. I do have an almost compulsion to reduce the number of new likes/intros to zero so I can accurately gauge how many there really are. This is like a rambling rant to nowhere.

Tl;dr OKC needs to fix their shit.

Conversely a few weeks back Tinder just up and poofed almost every person I’d ever swiped right on and it felt very freeing. Not holding onto conversations you never plan on finishing is lovely.
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Yesterday, after my loops of Maia II and a brief visit to Whole Foods: I dug in and got right up to the healing portion of Hands of Light before I had to call it quits. There’s at least a hundred more pages left full of exercises for self and others.

Have an energy session this evening that I hope the amazon delivery people don’t interrupt.

Think I will do my revamped custom again today and then take a break for as long as I can tomorrow.

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