Going to start a new journal with New WANTED/Joy to aid in my new life. I’ve found myself again, so now’s the time to get high on my own supply:
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One of the maddest journal titles on here rofl
I just imagined a couple cartel dudes panicking because you don’t need their supply anymore.
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I don’t mean to write like a Gen Zer (bestie), but New GLM is something else.
Trauma teaches me to leave my body, to dissociate, to no longer feel.
It also teaches me to access the upper chakras and delve into the world of intuition and the imagination.
But the lower chakras get neglected.
That makes me nervous on the inside, unfeeling on the outside.
Just pretending to be “stoic alpha number 1”.
Which is pretentious bullshit.
New GLM solved this immediately.
I’ve stopped running from myself.
Because there is no need to anymore.
There’s nothing to escape from - trauma, beatings, repeated shame attacks, mockery of my very being and character.
No wonder I didn’t want to inhabit this flesh suit.
I wanted to escape it.
Heaven seemed safer.
GLM gives me shelter, the anchor, freedom from the highs and lows, the elation and the terror.
But it doesn’t turn me into a cold stone (life did that).
In fact Joy + GLM could very well be my foundation.
The first floor after the prolonged excavation.
The second floor, the third…
I duped myself thinking women were the panacea.
I didn’t take my own advice.
But I’ll continue New WANTED.
Because IDGAF applies everywhere in life.
Plus it’s amusing to be the cause, rather than the reaction.
It’s good to take off the straitjacket.
.
Writing in prose completely spontaneously, could be a talent uncovered…
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Feels weird to even be talking about GLM as a healing title but the very act of detaching from my stormy emotional climate is having that effect on a much more profound level. Being up and down like the sea isn’t nice and experiencing trauma flashbacks and trigger shots of terror on a regular basis interferes with my wellbeing. But being calm and even keeled is revealing for me in that:
- I’m not responsible for other people’s insecurities and to stop taking them on
- I can now live inside my body fully now
- I am now safe and I am now fully me
- I am present and real to myself and the world
- Destabilising public disapproval is now irrelevant
Joy and WANTED add to this “new man” feeling but what GLM offers is new and liberating for a survivor to thriver. I’m not even thinking about women in this context, I’m more committed to bringing Michel back into the body he chose to inhabit and effect the world positively.
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Wanted is working in the background, got a few stares, one wanting to devour me, another in the cafe sneaking and exchanging glances. However New GLM is grounding me, making me unmovable and present in a way that reverses trauma leaving the body. I don’t need to cede or placate strangers in order to be validated. It just doesn’t happen anymore. I realise I’ve been addicted to others’ emotional drugs, but like the thread title suggests, I’m switching suppliers, I’m getting High On My Own Supply.
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Furthermore, this points out that you likely have some stubborn subconscious structures in the romance part of your life - so you’ll need plenty of time and focus with WANTED.
Reminder for me to take it easy and pace the results
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All of a sudden worried about stacking GLM with New WANTED, like one would neutralise the other when out and about…
Looking back on what’s happened on this stack:
- One woman looking at me like she wanted to eat me
- Being flanked side by side by (presumably) attached women in the cafe, both giving massive leaning-in clues, wanting to be opened…
- Muted attraction from an attached work colleague that had previously showed strong involuntary attraction cues
- Asked for a supermarket loyalty card by one woman who just wanted cheaper pizza, I told her “I’m having half!”
- Had a 10-second gaze session with another woman at the cafe. No approach yet.
So maybe I’m a little impatient
GLM? Well… in the same high level event with the female work colleague I somehow managed to share my opinion more out loud and have it well received. Heaven knows where the words came from but it all flowed out, and it was of a high quality. Out in the streets no one wants to step to me, the same scenario plays out every time - one dude intends to intimidate me with a look or presence, catches my GLM aura and decides to change course. More respect, more “don’t bring nonsense to my yard” and even respect from other men, like being asked directions for example.
An interesting combo nonetheless.
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Dear Wanted diary 
I’m on the “market”, however all previous relationships prior to my 3-year relationship with my ex have been friendzoned ones, so I have no actual experience in dating, however Wanted should be enticing enough to have a couple of relationships to gain more experience.
I haven’t given up, however the weariness is in the background. I am going out by myself, which probably gives off a desperate vibe, hope not. Am I too desperate to make a relationship happen? Am I a little too insular? Let’s see.
It reminded me of when I asked a woman out in a sweet shop, after making a road sign with her name on it (art college, absolute cringe…), she “had a boyfriend already”… That was my first ask and I left feeling worthless and shameful. I’m wondering whether Wanted is pulling up these troublesome experiences and neutralising them in real time?
Is Wanted also urging me to go out too? I’m a little scared of doing that, no problems during the day, but the night scene - jeez, another trauma of being massively rejected at uni…
There’s nothing wrong with me, I know there isn’t, but Wanted seems to reinforce the good and challenge the bad, some of it embarrassing to look back at, but hopefully there is a payoff coming, even if it is just to be more charismatic, accepting of my awesomeness and effortlessly sexually playful and charming.
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From thinking about going out, whining about past embarrassment and feeling stuck to enjoying a night out by myself and getting a ton of compliments. Even the environment conspired to lead me there in the first place…
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These are landmark results for me, the second after my night out. I was wondering how Wanted would work in an official setting and there was absolutely no need to worry! Wanted was simmering in the background as a silent strong signal. Now I’ll be interested to see how a WANTED + Perfection Manifestation NE sub would enhance results.
GLM wise, it’s very rare that men want to directly/indirectly challenge my being, I believe playing microloops are worse than a full loop, it gives others a chance to maybe impose themselves physically onto me. That never happens on a full loop. But once again the silent dominant “wise” one aura gives me a lot of presence and strength.
EDIT: One more Wanted success story, I took the initiative to smile at a woman on the train who had reoriented her whole body to face me (in that female indirect way). One more step towards approaching…
Turning the corner
After moaning to myself about how life is going and debating why I need a woman so badly, getting irritated by the sub process, something clicked internally - I can now embody the goals of WANTED - the seduction scripting, the saying less, the cheeky comments, the certainty of women being attracted to me. I’m the “hot guy”, not she’s the “bombshell”. A complete reversal. And the status lift! I bought a suede jacket, for the muthafuckin’ rizz and am enjoying feeling good with the self image boost.
The immediate results of wearing a suede jacket was this: at least 4 women sat around me but two were angling for my attention - a middle aged woman dressed in all pink trackies and a black haired younger woman with a light goth look. Both were competing for my attention, however the raven woman did more to grab my attention by applying makeup, liner and checking her reflection on her phone, then leaning towards me. The woman in pink could see that I was returning her gaze and then retreated back into her music. I could tell she was properly vexed. I felt a little guilty. I’ve started a rivalry 🫢.
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Feeling this high status vibe now breaking out, only once I’ve cleared some of the limiting core beliefs I’ve had towards this product, including:
- It is not safe to love
- I am afraid to love another
- I don’t enjoy sex
- I can’t have what I want
- I am dominated by my mother (DRLD destroyed the boy).
Buying and wearing a smart suede jacket is an affirmation that I do love myself and will look my best because I deserve nothing less. It says “I value myself” more and I deserve to feel happiness. The women I come across appreciate it and that adds to my new mysterious “bad boy” good boy look.
Right now I’m sitting back in a comfy chair at the cafe, chilled, because I’m feeling myself strongly and it’s dope. No sign of wanting validation from the start of the cycle. In fact the women (bless them) are the ones wanting to get validation from me 
remember to smile at the women as you walk past…
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The Gallery Dance
Interesting story - I was followed around in a world famous gallery by a very pretty middle aged blonde woman (possibly Russian, mostly likely Eastern European) There was an interesting flirty dance going on between myself and her, I’d go into one room, she would follow behind, I would return, she would be there. Then I thought, “let’s just open her, see what happens…” I did ask her a question about the artwork on display and she very much obliged!
Even yesterday I approached an older art sales clerk at the store with another question and she also heavily obliged! The younger woman with her seemed to nervously avoid me (Was I too much!). But these approaches are about anything but her. Can I be more seductive?
I’m feeling much better about myself, I’m not expecting to be annihilated by bigger and badder people (GLM) which is a child echo. I feel safe, suave in my new jacket, feel super sly and in no doubt about attracting women and getting them hot underneath the collar, instantly.
More importantly the shyness I had for a long time was released by the anti-recon - feeling unable to speak, not feeling comfortable around my own family and humiliation. I released them all and I now feel free of a 40+ year condition - I am now capable of bolder communication now!
On top of that, my belly is looking flatter!
The Shadow
My dark side is still the echoes of the boy who submitted to more powerful figures, who expected to be destroyed and mocked and humiliated. This side still wonders why I haven’t picked up a woman yet. Can I open my mouth at the right time? Of course I can, but WANTED does have approach anxiety training for the other times that I can’t. It’s slightly irritating to see Wanted work so we’ll but the end result isn’t coming.