My god, just read your last entry since last time I read your journal and man one hell of a ride!
Do you feel like some things could change quickly if you switched to a “results oriented” sub?
I feel like the healing causes so much reconciliation that there is not a lot of space for manifestation.
Yes I think so or at least I am willing to try it out.
I just go along with the Healing to gain room for manifestation. And when I look back, I wanted since I am very young to be in a healthy state of mind, spirit and body,
So Healing is THE Manifestation for me😊
Yeah, I do get what you are saying, when I used the word manifestation I was using it to describe external life event being influenced by your will.
Yeah, even if healing is tough and, well, I do understand that you like it. Personally I hate the healing process, I just want to get it over with! And then start again with a sub strongly focus on action and manifestation.
How old are you Dragonrider? I’m 25 RN, healing is the foundation that I neglected for too long hahahaha
I am 33 years old
the Healing process and going through shit is unpleasant , but I realy dont like having shit inside me.
Solution = Healing
I started 2 custom subs this year and after 16 days I realized that I have to heal first, otherwise I can’t continue, so here I am, going through heavy shit and then share the shit with all of you.
Healing is most important thing before everything it’s most important to have a strong foundation
i think most people try to ignore healing and try to manifest stuff but they desire their manifestation to make up for their internal damage like a bandaid
lots of people do it with looks
they dont accept themselves and want to manifest better looks to make up for low self esteem
but they are supposed to heal their low self esteem first becuz its the core foundation
That’s actually a global thing
You are right, I see it exactly like you
People always say to me:why you doo that? Can’t you not just settle down.
Then I smile and let them settle
This always makes me ready for another round of adventure.
And then if they end up realy fuckd up they always knock on my door first, before they go to a psychotherapy and then after they go to a psychotherapy they say: Leo in 20 min you did more work with me than 2 months or 3 years in psychotherapy.
That’s fucking crazy how are you soo efficient.
you are the last dragon rider
This sound like a joke but it’s not
I had no problem to ride a big big Snake but when I tried to jump on a dragons neck and ride with him, the dragon was screaming at me and I made him a compliment for he is strong, then the dragon let me fly next to him
LOL 
I gona ride this dragon someday
Funny this particular dragon looks exactly like the one you have posted but it was white and had 2 long tentacles on his mouth
Dude, your gif use is absolutely epic.
Every single one is so on point.
hahaha thanx bro 
I stood up 1 hour ago
1st loop Elixir Ultima
Sadness and self pity overflow and some sick energy.
Time to burn it
Underlying death wishes detected
Now the shit I coming up
Time to kill the shit
Yeah! don’t give up, your journal really inspires me to tough through the healing phase! It’s hard, but will be worth it. It’s been since 2019 I started subclub and only did 1 month of healing. I need a lot more
After my month of healing I remember I had a lot more results than before even if I didn’t see anything while I was healing! I can compare my before and after results and there is definitly a difference in how I act with woman!
@GoldenTiger
You hit the nail on the head
And this goes for every aspect of life
Its all ready done the shit is erased - no worry Bro. The moment I have access, healing happens really fast.
And I never give up having a good life, instead I strive for it and I am ready to doo whatever I need to doo
Thanks 
What is this in reference too?
Better start point
Hahahah sorry bro I choose the wrong name
Last 2 days
I had some fuckt up disorders appearing.
I was watching this TV series : the boys
When I saw how ugly people with power act something in me activate and it happen in 4 seconds.
1.heavy fear I Coud hurt somebody when I have power (and I have)
2.a protection energy arisese and forbid myself to have power
3 complete powerloss
4 blockad in my head
I needed 2 days to restore me to 60%
So I did a deep dive to see what the problem was.
First I hear myself saying:I don’t want anybody to be hurt - I can connect this to a heavy fight my father had wit a girlfriend. I was maybe 8 year’s old and I run in between the fight to protect Andrea
Then I startet to talk to myself and that’s what usually heals or dissolve the problem very fast.
But not this time.
After 1 day I get to the point where I was realy angry. How can I suppress my power/live energy soo strong to protect others.
That’s self castration
And defenitly the mechanism of real trauma
So I try to change the whole thing and try to tell me that it is OK to be powerful and only people who attack me had to fear… It didn’t work
Whatever I did I came to no fruition
Then I needed to make a change. If this don’t work the I try the opposite.
So I go Dark
I say to myself: I am such a liar, if somebody attacks me verbal/physical or energetic I know realy no mercy, I want my opponents to dye.
And I Attack in some ways, allways
Then i fantasize how I cripple and torture people who did damage to me until I lost the fear of damage and the fear of damaging people.
This took me 8 hours
Then I talk again to myself/trauma : doo you still need to protect others from me, because I don’t fear damage any more
This was a solution, somehow the trauma mechanism losses power and grip and I know I have to heal completely
Fear of receiving and giving damage
Fear of something can happen
Castration
I didn’t lisen to my healing sub for 4days only The Elixir Ultima.
I hope my new ordered healing sub will arrive today. I can fucking use it right now
1 hour intensive work on fear topic and the fear is leaving my body, specially my brain. The energetic charge is dropping.
This traumas are not easy to Crack but possible
Tomorrow I smoke a green one to test my work I did