Who was the YouTube guy?
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Uhh coffeezilla
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Day 3
I said I was going to take a day off but I played one StarkQ and one PCC.
My flirting game on dating apps has done a complete 180. Whereas before I was just chill and normal conversation, I’m now busting balls and teasing and the chicks are loving it.
Also a crazy increase in the amount of matches the past two days.
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Day 3 cont’d
Went out for a walk as it is 75 degrees here. And stopped at the convenience store.
I noticed a distinctive relaxed and loose swagger to my walk. And a natural smile/hello was given to everyone I passed (6ft away of course). This is definitely Stark starting to hit.
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Day 6. the last day I posted I played one loop through of my full planned stack. That is Stark T (switched from original Q to T) > PCC > Daredevil. I then took two days off, only the first was planned but a couple things ended up happening.
Ok, so, my state here in the US is now open but we have to wear face masks everywhere.
A guy I know here who is an improv comedian reached out and said he has a group of 5 people that want to start meeting at the park (wearing masks of course) and do some outlandish improv things on a daily basis.
I was scared absolutely shitless, but said yes even though I wanted to say no, and we have been doing these crazy exercises for the last 3 days in the park.
I posted about my fear of public speaking in the emperors lounge, so this is a big step. Day 1 of this improv stuff was so terrifying, but now after 3 days, just finished day 3 of this today, my confidence is at an all time high.
Don’t know if this is Stark, Daredevil, PCC…all of the above? But this is a scary action I have wanted to take for literally decades (like back when the whole PUA thing was just starting like 20 years ago and they all were recommending improv classes) and now finally am, so who knows.
Right now, I started the stack/ loop in my journal title and am doing one run through a day.
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Day 7 is today
See my journal entry that I posted in the “PLEASE READ: Stark Q Terminus” thread linked below. This journal entry is focused only on my thoughts of Stark TERMINUS over the past few days.
Day 7 continued
Played one loop of PCC and Daredevil. PCC continues to blow my mind. One example is online dating, just get this feeling with the girls i’m messaging with. Could be wrong, but you rarely know when you make the right decision when it takes walking away.
I had a loop going, I thought Daredevil was still on but got an uneasy feeling. It was actually repeated to now on Stark TERMINUS. Immediately turned it off and all is well in the world.
Stark Terminus seems self regulating if you pay attention.
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Day 8
I am just now starting my one loop of Stark T > PCC > Daredevil
Experienced the first premonition/synchronicity on TERMINUS that others have mentioned. This morning I had a random thought of wow, I haven’t seen my neighbors across the hall in over a month. A few hours later I’m on a walk and run into them about a half a mile away from where we live.
Anyway this stack is taking my life to new levels and I’ll just bullet point some
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I joined an improv in the park group - today was Day 5 in row I believe. I DID NOT want to go due to lack of sleep and I was so off. Couldn’t think of anything to say or do, going blank all session. But in the end we all laughed about it and I feel good.
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I have been going live on zooms and giving presentations for upwards of 50 people, one day there were over 300 on a live webinar I did. I could not get myself to even set up slides for a webinar prior to starting this stack
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Last night I was up until 3am - 6 hours on facetime with a girl I matched with just yesterday afternoon. She is an instagram model with 30k followers and has big ol fake boobs. We are meeting up Tuesday for a walk in the park.
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Stark is showing me (through live zooms and video I’m doing) the things I need to work on with how I come across on live camera. I believe this is the fame “module”. I NEVER would have realized these things thus been able to improve them had I not been pushed to start doing these live videos literally right when I started the stack.
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PCC is just mind blowingly awesome. It’s like it gives you x-ray glasses into peoples true motives
I just find it so amazing how for 20 years I could not get myself to do live presentations, live video or any video and now, one day I start Stark and it’s like I crave doing these things. And I crave reviewing each one I do for how I can improve and come across better. It’s just unbelievable.
Tomorrow I plan to take a day off from subs, but we will see. I originally was taking today off but as the day went on it was like I was jonesing for my Stark TERMINUS. So, here I am listening as we speak.
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Wanted to mention two other random thoughts/observations that have been bouncing around in my head.
First, with everything I was procrastinating on in my business and am now taking action, there is this underlying sense of “fuck it, let’s see what happens, who cares if it completely flops”. I am doing things I literally was afraid of starting for 20 years. I would always think I needed to know the whole picture, whereas now I’m like lets just do step 1, see what happens, and go from there. It’s a very freeing and fun feeling.
Second, I’m thinking maybe the subs that will help people the most are the ones that are completely opposite of their usual personality/nature. I say this because the subs that I have gotten the most profound results from were the social subs and I am a hardcore introvert, could be alone for months on end and be perfectly content. I thought that subs like Stark and Daredevil would be way too far off from who I am naturally as a person and going too much against the current so to speak.
So maybe, if you are naturally outgoing love having the attention, something like Emperor or Alchemist would really ramp your life into overdrive. And for the introvert, shy nice guys, get on Stark and Daredevil.
Anyway, random thoughts for tonight.
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Day 9 was a forced rest day, really wanted to listen to Stark for some reason.
Day 10 - Today - Did a loop of Stark TERMINUS > PCC > Daredevil
I’m taking the following as a positive. I feel like on this stack I’m really pushing the limits with text messages to girls. Not all of it is landing, but i feel this is just finding out where the line is. Luckily I have a pretty good feel, so I can semi-smoothly reel it back in. But I find myself pushing the edge the past couple days.
EDIT: I’m thinking this goes back to the parallel universes thread. Right now I’m swaying back and fourth between the old introverted me and where Stark / Daredevil is taking me
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Day 11
I’ve done my Stark TERMINUS and PCC loop today, still have to do Daredevil.
My m.o. is this and has allowed me to experience ZERO reconciliation so far:
- I listen to only one loop of my stack per day
- I have taken 3 days off in the 11 days. Basically 2 on 1 off
- I allow at least 15 minutes if not hours between each track to allow my subconscious to process
TERMINUS is changing me like no other - I have done 6 youtube videos for my business, I have been consistently going to improv in the park every day (and this is building my confidence in an insane way), and I’m publishing audio content for my business.
I was always way too scared to go on camera because, what seems such a strange fear now, I was worried my family or friends would somehow find it and criticize me. Well, no more - fuck them, I’m making money!
PCC has been having a different effect too, it is causing me to review past transactions, past dates, etc, and see where I missed the red flag in those that didn’t work out. It is a fascinating analysis of the things that have gone wrong in past - or rather didn’t work out.
And it’s always glaringly obvious because hindsight is 20/20. I see where in text messages or emails I could have prevented even having to meet up or negotiate. But hopefully this will allow me to see these things in the present and not make similar mistakes/time wasters again.
EDIT: And weird, just happened now. Again this morning I randomly thought of a good friend of mine that I haven’t seen or heard from in over a month. What do you know, she literally just texted me right now.
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Day 12 - Yesterday
I did one loop through of my stack TERMINUS > PCC > Daredevil in the morning, then one additional listen to PCC last night.
Yesterday was one of the most productive days I have had in a while. Like just pure work from morning until night. Accomplished a ton.
**Last night I had a crazy vivid dream that felt like it went the whole night long. I usually don’t share dream details because I think they are very individual so who cares. But this one might have some significance.
A huge burly man, like 7’7 looked like a forester or something was hunting/chasing me down all through Amsterdam. I was trying to run away and lose him but kept getting found by him. Each time I would somehow take him down and try to kick/bash his head and chest in to kill him and then run again.
He would always somehow survive my attacks and find me again. Finally, at the end of the dream I found a gun and this time when he found me, I took him down, bashed his head in with my foot, then shot him three times. Once in the head, once in the throat, and once in the heart.
Then woke up
Day 13 - Today is a rest day, this morning I did not want to take the rest after such a good day yesterday but I stuck to the plan.
Good thing, too. Around mid morning I just crashed and started feeling kind of bummed out. Sort of like what I remember reconciliation feeling like when I was pounding out 12+ hours of EoG a day.
I can’t really attribute it to reconciliation though as it’s the first I have experienced in the 13 days. Could just be a come down from pushing so hard yesterday.
Anyway, I feel like a nap so I think I will do that.
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Day 14 - Usual one listen through of the stack
Super productive today…again. Woke up naturally at 5am so I also ran 2 miles and then hiked 7 miles all fasted so I’m shedding pounds.
Some observations:
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I used to call my mom twice a week and we would talk for at least an hour or two. I have not called her once since starting this stack and she is now texting “everything ok?” “haven’t heard from you in a while”. I think it used to be that needy childhood validation seeking mode constantly and that’s why I would call her so often. Now I do not feel the need, in fact I realized often she makes me question my goals and just wants me to settle and have a “good job”
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I was hiking / walking and thought I didn’t have that cool swagger that came in the first few days anymore. Then I checked myself in a long storefront reflecting window and it’s definitely still there, I’ve just gotten used to it. This caused to me to focus on my body feelings more while walking, and I noticed it feels really good to walk around. I think a lot of initial improvements become normal, and thus people think the subs aren’t working anymore.
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I notice very quickly when girls are not quite reciprocating through text/conversation. I naturally pull away - not as a tactic - but an unconscious reaction. They then start texting more and contributing to conversations more
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I forgot to follow up about the date with the “instagram model”. Wow! What a reinforcing life lesson. The night of she said “hey I’m running behind, sorry if I look like a slob”. Small red alarm went off. Well, let’s just say lighting, photo editing, and makeup make a HUGE difference. We had a…pleasant time… but neither of us texted each other again.
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Still sticking with the improv group. I cannot keep telling you guys what this is doing for my confidence. And I now fully understand the power of Sub + Massive Action.
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Just tonight realized that porn/fap hasn’t even crossed my mind for around a week.
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I don’t really find joy in netflix/hulu/etc anymore. The past few nights before bed I have watched training videos or read books that will help advance my business. I used to fall asleep with stupid comedies on netflix playing.
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I can for real sense what people are thinking. It happens so often and very naturally now where I’ll be texting or on the phone with someone. I’ll get a feeling and say hey, I should get to bed or I need to get going or we should do this soon. And the person says I was just going to say the same thing. OR better yet, I’ll just think something and that person will text or call me. Super weird man.
Ok, I’ll end at 8 because I think that is the Chinese number for wealth. I could go on, but happy weekend everyone!
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Read your last several posts. You’re achieving amazing results, especially with your action-taking. I related to that dream, btw. On SQ-Terminus I also had a dream of a big guy chasing me down. I didn’t defeat him though.
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Thanks so much @TarMac
Really weird you had a similar dream. I will say my dreams have been way more vivid since TERMINUS.
But I don’t really know how to translate into real life. I hope things are just being processed by my subconscious.
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Day 15 - Today is a rest day
I think I might experiment with 2 loops through my stack tomorrow when I start up again.
Noticing my voice is really projecting. Did improv yesterday and this morning. Did some videos for my business. And it’s like I feel this need to be more honest and authentic and shout it out.
Previously, it was one of the things I wished I could fix. I was always a people pleaser, I would say whatever I could intuit others would approve of. Now I’m like fuck it all, put ME out there, be loud about it, and bring on the hate.
Stark TERMINUS is seriously exactly what I needed, I’m sure Daredevil is just enhancing. And PCC - Everybody needs to get on this sub. Period.
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Day 16 also happened to be a rest day. Not on purpose just got super overwhelmed by life and forgot to play my stack
Day17 - One loop through of my stack today, going to play it once more tonight and try out the two loops per day.
I’ve been busy and super productive, continuing the improv group every day. Though these past couple rest days I wasn’t really thinking in terms of what effect the subs were having on me. I guess it was good timing that right in the middle of the first 30 days I take two days off.
One thing, I did make a major change in my appearance as far as hair and beard go, and I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on that from people that know me.
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Upon reflection, PCC totally allows you to see the bullshit in others, but one thing I’ve come to find:
It also helps you see the bullshit in yourself. Not only in how you come across to others but also in how you interact with yourself. I am putting up with less and less of my own bullshit.
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Day 18 was yesterday
I only got through one loop of my stack when I planned to do two so:
Day 19 - Today
Today was supposed to be a rest day, but I wanted to up the exposure of two loops through my stack so I’m listening again today. That gives me three days in a row of listening. Still no issues with reconciliation. I have been taking naps everyday, though that could just be because I’m working from home so have the freedom to do that.
I had given a very short run of Daredevil earlier this year, and I’m experiencing the same thing. I tend to cross the line occasionally in texts and messages on dating apps a bit more. Or maybe cross the line isn’t the right term, just becoming more edgy. I’m seeing this as a good thing as I am pushing my comfort zone and just need to become congruent with the more edgy messages. Kind of like with ascension and other alpha subs some people initially experience some confrontation from others because of the new persona that is coming out.
I also see it as purposefully finding out where the line is by slightly crossing it. However, in another area -> my videos I’m doing for my business, I am finding myself being much more polarizing/strongly opinionated and I’m getting a lot more views and positive response, along with some hate which is new to me and kind of exciting. I know for a fact that when you put yourself out there publicly some hate is a good thing, it means you are having an affect on people.
On another note, I’ve kind of become disillusioned with dating apps (again). It’s just so difficult to arrange meetups with covid, and the ones I have met recently, they’re photos were not accurate.
So with that, my improv in the park group is still going strong and my confidence of being put on the spot keeps growing. And…a new girl joined last week, she is pursuing me hard. She asked for my number and found me on facebook. We had a FaceTime and drank some wine and she was being very flirty and sexual and forward. We’re planning on a meet up after this weekend. Interest groups might be my way forward with meeting women lol
Tomorrow is planned rest day
EDIT: One other thing to add - I have been randomly having memories come of from the past that I am ashamed of as I did not have the learning/skills to behave or respond properly. Whenever, this happens what I’ve been doing is taking the time to review the situation and really come to acceptance and understanding that I just wasn’t equipped with the proper social skills. Really being on my own side if you will.
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Day 20 - Rest day
Wow, can’t believe I’m already 2/3 to a month on this stack.
Today was a planned rest day, thought I found myself feeling that itch of “hey, let’s just set and forget and get things going”. But I stayed disciplined and realized that more is better is faster is a fallacy.
This sub is exactly what I needed, and pushed me to take action in a serious weakness of mine. That being getting over this fear of performing and being on camera. Things are progressing quickly.
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