Boron is good for lowering SHBG.
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Washout doing great, my mood is still a lot better with T, I will get bloods to check on my SHBG and free T.
I still need to fix my sleep, I’ll try to get to bed earlier.
Meanwhile, I don’t have that much news, I’ll try to get info on releases to see if I can run a light loop of AoW.
Seeing the market fly without me. Two positions missed by 1-2 pips over the last month period would have been bagners! Now crazy 25+RR for both of them which would have equated to 50R+.
These are trades I could have won, with a bit more strategy, maybe if I had journaled my june-july-august and september, I could have more and cleared example of wins I had.
It’s a bit painful to watch. Especially since the last two months were not good for me. I really need a good win to get things started again.
Moral of the story : Write down every trade to make sure you know what works and what doesn’t. You need multiple example even for a single setup, as the market always move in different way and it’s not really realistic to have two perfectly similar scenario.
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I learned a lot this year from running multiple subs centered on inner growth.
ROW, ROS, AoW, Hero : TLTH, GLM and lastly, regeneration.
I learned that I’m definitly not the best at being aware of my emotions, what I want, what’s happening in my inner world. Probably even lower consciousness than most people have. Or at least my perspective. I always thought I was good, or relatively good at it because I was able to put words on some inner phenomenon…
Yet, I’ve learned that I have some strong tendency to just completely discard my inner life and do whatever on the outside world, while my inner world is in shambles.
I guess that’s part of the reason why I didn’t get as much results as I could have with subliminals in the past few years I’ve ran them also why my manifestation power was lower.
With that much unprocessed emotions and subconscious thoughts happening under the hood, there is a lot of energy getting drained from it.
I need to accept my inner life, and keep it part of myself rather than rejecting it.
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Entered the market, my trade went to 4R, came back to my SL during the night and left. When I woke up, price was already at 8R+ of what it was when I went to bed.
I could have placed an order at a new point before going to bed, respecting my strategy, and price came back right to that point. Unfortunatly, I didn’t. The market is brutal.
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Yesterday night, I placed an order on my platform even if I had told myself I was taking a break of trading.
My wife ask me if I was sure I should do that. I said no since we both knew I had said I was taking a break. I deleted my order. When I woke up this morning, the trade would have been 20R+. That’s not counting the one I could have taken 2 days ago (in my previous post), and all the other ones I missed by 1-2 pips, or got taken out by 1-2 pips.
My psychological state is not so good at the moment. I’m seeing the market moving, I could have passed my FTMO in 2 clean trades, rather than that, I’m still stuck in my losing streak.
I don’t understand last summer I was taking so many winning trades, making the right call most of the time and making banks, now I’m just in a mental rut, hesitating. When I need to go right, I turn left, when I need to turn left, I turn right! Always making the wrong decision. Where is my calm, confident killing instinct I had last summer?
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I need that raw, killer instinct back.
I also need to sleep, I’m at 9 hours of sleep debt in the past two weeks even if I go to bed early (9h30 pm), don’t drink, am careful about big meals before bed, take magnesium (treonate, citrate and carbonate), take l theanine, no caffeine.
What is happening to me?
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Anger. I can feel it seething inside of me.
After so many trades missed. Whether because I was sleeping, because it was late at night and I said to myself “It’s not my trading window”, or because I get into a wrong trade, or because I’m in a meeting.
I keep missing the good trades, I see them in front of me. Vision distorted of the market, good analysis that hit when I’m asleep. I keep seeing it over and over. I could have passed my FTMO over 5 times with just the month of december.
No need to catch them all, just not 0%.
Since I’ve started this FTMO in october, it’s been misstep after misstep. Like I’m keeping myself from succeeding. After 4 months with 10+% in profit, how to explain this.
Thinking about all of this and after some more mistakes this week. Anger is starting to flow inside of me.
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Have you tried to taking both GABA and Magnesium on an empty stomach ? it might help. It should assistant in sleeping.
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Oh yes, my sleep is fixed 
I did not mention it, but I’m happy with it!
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Will soon restart journaling.
I’ve restarted the gym this week. I’ve restarted eating a bit better, not perfect, just better.
I’ll add journaling soon.
I’ll try this technique of journaling as if my success already happened… Journaling in the past. “When I recieved my first prop firm payout…”, “When I noticed I hadn’t had a negative month in a year…”, etc.
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I see my order’s SL getting triggered. I’m spending the evening with my wife, I don’t necessarly check it too much.
I check the next day. My SL was hit by like : The candle reached 211.482 as low and my SL was at 211.46, which represent 2 pips on the GBPJPY pair. This is definitly not the tightest I’ve been in my SL, I’ve seen way worst in the past few months.
SL hit exactly as the market reverse (by 0.1 pip, or 1 pip) multiple times.
This morning I had an opportunity to maybe re-enter, stressed out because I just had taken a loss and was frustrated. Missed it, and then, I re-entered after missing it at the third less safe entry. It will be my only entry, we’ll see how it goes.
My psychology really is messed up these days.
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This week with C&C I have been more agressive on the market, but I’m trading like I already have good positions open.
Right now is the time to only take great setups, not risky or lowish probability to hedge my bet.
It’s time to be careful and only trade the best! C&C really is pushing me.
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Finally caught a trade!! Went 2.5k into profit and I closed it when it hit my trailing SL at 1.3k, very good one. Had strong potential to go even higher. I risked 188$ on it, so RR is still good. It gives me more ammoes for later.
1.2k left on my FTMO hahaha
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I’ll do a couple of days of washout after today. I’m increasing my listening time of C&C and WDB at 7m for the last day. Anti-recon is highly effective!
I also lost 0.5% yesterday in trading, missing the move, so I have 90750$ in my FTMO, almost out but whatever, at this point it was a nice and long run, dropping this would probably allow me to recenter.
Posting this for some of my challenges C&C brought up.
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When you trade, you trade.
When not trading, don’t trade. That’s it. When I trade I need to be very aware of the reaction of the price to a certain level. Most of the time if I miss the first entry, it will, be hard to “re-enter”. Second entry will often be less optimal, bigger SL, bigger risk and won’t allow for crazy results.
I need to find my POI in the higher timeframe zone I’m watching and enter when I see a reaction of the market to it. It’s a mix of gut feeling, strategy and that can make shit ton of money.
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I’ve asked the support for my issue I noted two post earlier
Here is the reply they gave me :
Reply from support
Knowing this, while I wait for RT, I’ll run Limit Destroyer, which I might even rotate with WDB and C&C once RT comes out.
RT+C&C+WDB → RT+WDB+LD → RT+LD+C&C → RT+C&C+WDB
Should allow me to work on everything I want, and hopefully the adaptative scripting in C&C and eventually RT will allow LD to be more potent.
Worst case scenario, RT + LD for precise growth.
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Rich trader pre-results or Limit destroyer is removing some blockages in my mind?
This morning my execution was pretty good, I brought back some of my knowledge from last summer (mai, june, july, august and september 2025), which I had lots of trouble executing on.
I made a tiny mistake which unfortunatly made it so my position was half as large as what it could have been. Currently my trade is at 7R, with a target at 20R. - Floating profits means nothing, it could fall back to 0 anytime.
Since my FTMO only had 1% left in it before I fail (91k, can’t go below 90k as that would make me fail), my trading risk is 0.05% per trade, and I got 2 position on this morning, effectively risking 0.1% for a potential profit of 2%.
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While I slept market reversed, took me out and I got tagged in my orders below. -0.15%.
One of them at least, hopefully I’ll get tagged in my other order, which is a very precise entry, and a bigger position. We’ll see if this was the low of the week.
EDIT: My buddy showed me the Yen basket, looks like the yen is strengthening I should probably be selling this week.