GoldenTiger's Journal & Notes

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Don’t know yet what I’ll be running. Currently in a washout to prepare for the new releases.

Restarted taking some testosterone (11mg per day), I’ve always had some issues with my free T, with decent levels of T (700-750) but SHBG of 60+, which gave me some low-lowish T, making me susceptible in times of stress, or lack of sleep. So now that’s fixed, I’m trying giving blood to lower my iron levels and drop my SHBG as some people have reported and I’ve already tryed all the supplements on the market to lower SHBG.

Subliminal results are back to normal now, my energy is up, everything is going better, reconciliation is down, my vitality is up!

Here is what I’m thinking :
AoW : Great for trading for me, gives me patience, some risk taking (when the timing is right), some stamina (for when I enter a bit too early), giving me insight on what my mistake was, etc. It’s still helping me as this morning I was wondering how I got stopped out by 1-2 pip from my two last trades… And I think I figured what I did last summer to prevent that (yeah, that’s why I regret not having a journal of my trades last summer)!

GLM : Amazing to be more myself, feeling a lot freer in life, maybe from my emotions, it tends to create a detachment from what’s happening. Truly a foundationnal title, try it for yourself.

Regeneration : I’ve done a couple of loops, pretty sure my results were affected by my test levels so it’s hard to give a 100% accurate review. Not sure if I’m interested in healing right now?

Hero TLTB St4 : Might run it as it helps me connect to my inner drive and my own self expression, very freeing title in a different way than GLM.

Beyond Limitless : Very interesting title, helps me dive deeper into trying to understand the precise mechanics of the market. Makes my head cleared. Honestly great title, might be a bit too focus for what I’m looking for, AoW already makes me “prepare for war and learn from my mistakes”, so I don’t think I need all those cognitive and creative boost.

GLM : Commander : Very very interested in this title. I’ve wanted to grow my leadership, decision making and overall “aliveness”, or can I say “masculine drive”. Will depends on what the Commander is, but I’ve been very very curious to try it, as I was a big fan of the original Supercharger “The commander” when it originally came out.

Wanted : Dream Boy : OHHHH boy, will I run this one? Who knows, but honestly I know my wife would love for my to reconnect with this side of myself, it has been her only complaint in the last year and a half. Especially since I ran so many spiritual titles and I really dropped the focus from “fun”, I still made some efforts, but my big focus was trading and mind stillness. I ran ROS, Regeneration, Hero, GLM, AoW with a strong focus on my emotions and inner world. So reconnecting with this would make her very happy. I’ll see what’s in that and how I can make it work with my stack (if).

Rich Trader : Damn, I’ve been asking for few years for about this sub, and we are few months away from the release? It’s crazy!

Emperor Crown & Capital : Very curious about this one too, I’ve loved the first version, haven’t touched the newest version yet. I’d be interested in running it because it’s a big subliminals for money and success, related a bit to trading and financial world. It could also help me prepare for the next step in my money plan.

Ascension : Goes with The Commander, interested in growing my self confidence, drive, leadership skills, etc.

Now, I’ll see what I do for this journal, but I’ll first need to decide where I go with my stack. AoW is almost sure to stay! The rest, I’ll see in december.

4 Likes
#2

Boron is good for lowering SHBG.

1 Like
#3

Washout doing great, my mood is still a lot better with T, I will get bloods to check on my SHBG and free T.

I still need to fix my sleep, I’ll try to get to bed earlier.

Meanwhile, I don’t have that much news, I’ll try to get info on releases to see if I can run a light loop of AoW.

#4

Seeing the market fly without me. Two positions missed by 1-2 pips over the last month period would have been bagners! Now crazy 25+RR for both of them which would have equated to 50R+.

These are trades I could have won, with a bit more strategy, maybe if I had journaled my june-july-august and september, I could have more and cleared example of wins I had.

It’s a bit painful to watch. Especially since the last two months were not good for me. I really need a good win to get things started again.

Moral of the story : Write down every trade to make sure you know what works and what doesn’t. You need multiple example even for a single setup, as the market always move in different way and it’s not really realistic to have two perfectly similar scenario.

1 Like
#5

I learned a lot this year from running multiple subs centered on inner growth.

ROW, ROS, AoW, Hero : TLTH, GLM and lastly, regeneration.

I learned that I’m definitly not the best at being aware of my emotions, what I want, what’s happening in my inner world. Probably even lower consciousness than most people have. Or at least my perspective. I always thought I was good, or relatively good at it because I was able to put words on some inner phenomenon…

Yet, I’ve learned that I have some strong tendency to just completely discard my inner life and do whatever on the outside world, while my inner world is in shambles.

I guess that’s part of the reason why I didn’t get as much results as I could have with subliminals in the past few years I’ve ran them also why my manifestation power was lower.

With that much unprocessed emotions and subconscious thoughts happening under the hood, there is a lot of energy getting drained from it.

I need to accept my inner life, and keep it part of myself rather than rejecting it.

1 Like
#6

Entered the market, my trade went to 4R, came back to my SL during the night and left. When I woke up, price was already at 8R+ of what it was when I went to bed.

I could have placed an order at a new point before going to bed, respecting my strategy, and price came back right to that point. Unfortunatly, I didn’t. The market is brutal.

1 Like
#7

Yesterday night, I placed an order on my platform even if I had told myself I was taking a break of trading.

My wife ask me if I was sure I should do that. I said no since we both knew I had said I was taking a break. I deleted my order. When I woke up this morning, the trade would have been 20R+. That’s not counting the one I could have taken 2 days ago (in my previous post), and all the other ones I missed by 1-2 pips, or got taken out by 1-2 pips.

My psychological state is not so good at the moment. I’m seeing the market moving, I could have passed my FTMO in 2 clean trades, rather than that, I’m still stuck in my losing streak.

I don’t understand last summer I was taking so many winning trades, making the right call most of the time and making banks, now I’m just in a mental rut, hesitating. When I need to go right, I turn left, when I need to turn left, I turn right! Always making the wrong decision. Where is my calm, confident killing instinct I had last summer?

1 Like
#8

I need that raw, killer instinct back.

I also need to sleep, I’m at 9 hours of sleep debt in the past two weeks even if I go to bed early (9h30 pm), don’t drink, am careful about big meals before bed, take magnesium (treonate, citrate and carbonate), take l theanine, no caffeine.

What is happening to me?

2 Likes
#9

Anger. I can feel it seething inside of me.

After so many trades missed. Whether because I was sleeping, because it was late at night and I said to myself “It’s not my trading window”, or because I get into a wrong trade, or because I’m in a meeting.

I keep missing the good trades, I see them in front of me. Vision distorted of the market, good analysis that hit when I’m asleep. I keep seeing it over and over. I could have passed my FTMO over 5 times with just the month of december.

No need to catch them all, just not 0%.

Since I’ve started this FTMO in october, it’s been misstep after misstep. Like I’m keeping myself from succeeding. After 4 months with 10+% in profit, how to explain this.

Thinking about all of this and after some more mistakes this week. Anger is starting to flow inside of me.

2 Likes
#10

Have you tried to taking both GABA and Magnesium on an empty stomach ? it might help. It should assistant in sleeping.

1 Like
#11

Oh yes, my sleep is fixed :clinking_glasses:

I did not mention it, but I’m happy with it!

1 Like
#12

Will soon restart journaling.

I’ve restarted the gym this week. I’ve restarted eating a bit better, not perfect, just better.

I’ll add journaling soon.

I’ll try this technique of journaling as if my success already happened… Journaling in the past. “When I recieved my first prop firm payout…”, “When I noticed I hadn’t had a negative month in a year…”, etc.

3 Likes
#13

I see my order’s SL getting triggered. I’m spending the evening with my wife, I don’t necessarly check it too much.

I check the next day. My SL was hit by like : The candle reached 211.482 as low and my SL was at 211.46, which represent 2 pips on the GBPJPY pair. This is definitly not the tightest I’ve been in my SL, I’ve seen way worst in the past few months.

SL hit exactly as the market reverse (by 0.1 pip, or 1 pip) multiple times.

This morning I had an opportunity to maybe re-enter, stressed out because I just had taken a loss and was frustrated. Missed it, and then, I re-entered after missing it at the third less safe entry. It will be my only entry, we’ll see how it goes.

My psychology really is messed up these days.